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The man is 34 and still getting drunk to the point he pees on the carpet. This isn't going to go away. If you have kids, I bet he'll pee on them too.
Not a psychologist but the way I understand it, beliefs -> thoughts -> feelings -> behaviour.
When you do therapy and peel back the layers, there's usually one simple belief underneath that's driving everything, probably a simple negative statement about yourself that you reasoned as a small child (like 'mum didn't come when I fell down because I'm not good enough', when maybe mum had a new baby and couldn't do two things at once). If you reframe that, everything gets better.
Looking at the here and now, think about the other attributes you bring to the relationship. Maybe you're kind, funny, caring, laid back, clever, a good listener or have similar tastes. I've seen very attractive men and lost interest the moment they opened their mouth.