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Room for live! sex video chat sara_soto1
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Date: October 11, 2022
Fundamentally, this sounds like a lack of communication. Can you ask him to let you know when he's gonna be offline for awhile? Like he can just shoot you a text saying running late babe, or I'm super tired today so I'm going to bed early? Please keep in mind that even couples that on-line together never know 100% of where or what they're partner is doing all the time. I think you're possibly developing separation anxiety and should probably talk to someone if the texting doesn't work.
If you have to ask, then deep down, you already know. It seems to me like you were hoping to come on here and have people excuse your behavior so you feel better about yourself, but there’s a clear consensus here — you’re cheating.
What? Give all what options?
If you're never going to see him again then who cares
Hm I think right now he is debating between industry and trying to go the professor route. I honestly don’t know a lot ab academia. Do you think there could be room to compromise in one of those areas?
I mean put a ring on it is a pretty common phrase in pop culture and I don't think everyone who uses it is aware of the implications or intends to mean it that way. Literally a Beyonce lyric lol.
What about having reasonable boundaries is so 1950s?
Not sharing banking and social security with a boyfriend is reasonable and pretty smart.
Using condoms when you don't wanna get pregnant is what everyone should be doing. There is still a risk of pregnancy even with condoms so the extra step of pulling out is what she needs to feel comfortable having sex. Sounds reasonable to me. No one should do anything in bed that they're not comfortable with.
Not living together is a bit risky imo. But cultures all over the world follow that. It's a rarity in the west, but it's the norm in other places. No one's forcing you to do it. I would want to on-line together before marriage but I already know my bf and I are compatible that way coz I've been with him for 4 years and know how he lives. It's not “waiting for a disaster”.
No one has to agree with her boundaries. But if the bf won't respect them he's free to leave. She can find someone who's compatible with her.
This poor man has to be questioned multiple times a week about who he is meeting specifically from someone who admits trust issues so effectively he is being asked if he is seeing women op is insecure about and has had enough. The responses here blaming him are wild! How can he be to blame if he is fielding this accusation two or three times a week for over a year so up to 160 times the same accusation. That is literally insane!!! What is the reassurance he could give because unless it is I am not fucking or being romantic with anyone else three times a week( also insanity to expect or have to say this) then please what would reassure op. I imagine the s/o is at his wits end. Counselling has not stopped or reduced the frequency with which you accuse him, honestly just let him leave you are not going to change anytime soon. His anger issues are a problem because he is being poked regularly ever week a Saint would react with anger to this provocation! You need to work on you he needs to find someone who is not as needy as you are!
He lied to you repeatedly, he cheated on you.
You don’t owe him shit and he really shouldn’t have the chance to “make it up” to you, I would seriously consider breaking up and moving on. Sorry.
My first question for you is what would make her feel like it's a little to go through your personal “past” life? You have an insecure lady as your So. Furthermore, her own guilty conscience may be in overdrive here. You have some big decisions to make about you and her going together into the future. Good luck.
Maybe becauss reddit has irrational phobia of XDs and emojis
Man, I'm sorry. Breaking up is always a miserable experience. Even though all relationships come to an end it is never easy when they do.
Take care of yourself. You were okay before this relationship and you're okay now. Keep in mind that you were single when you found the last one, now that you're single you'll find the next one.
Good luck
I'm used to being single so I'm very independent and I've become very confident in who I am, I'm assertive and direct with people but he said he doesn't really like women taking the lead.
Looking at everything, I feel that he may be trying to get you become a little submissive to him (to make you feel he's better than you so that you'll find it difficult to cut him off – this looks like a connection where he wants to use you for some of his weird social needs (I don't know) rather than something meaningful for both) and I don't think that's good and I also think he's expecting texts from you in a submissive tone (feel of the text when you read it) You can text him to test this, if he immediately responds I may be true. I don't know if he's wasting your time but he's definitely not so worth your time that you should be waiting for him to reply
Definitely not normal behaviour. He does not deserve you. That’s immature of him. He’s acting like a toddler that throws as tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s actually the same thing. It’s not expected of an adult to act like that, although many do. I think it’s time to make some serious life changing decisions if you want to ever be happy.
Well he’s not dumb as he’s literally a doctor so I guess we’re on “doesn’t care”. I wonder if it’s that he wants things to be “fair”
Is couples therapy helping? Are you also doing personal therapy? I ask because as much as I want to help, I am a friendly internet stranger, and as much as I want to help I’m not sure if what you’re describing in the relationship is abusive. It might very well be. I’m hearing that you’re having sex when you’re not aware, and that your husband isn’t respecting your wishes to have daytime sex only, for good reasons. That and the wish to divorce make me worried for you, because if you don’t want to be in this relationship you don’t have to be and I want you to be a self advocate and get the result you need. But I’m also worried about you secondarily because of being on Ambien for 20 years, just because it’s very outdated and more recent research as well as the symptoms you describe are concerning. I wish and hope the very best for you, and I know you can put together a good medical team to help you with both issues. Whether it’s abuse or not, and it sounds like it may be, it’s causing you a lot of stress I feel, as are these other factors you’re mentioning. I think an individual therapist would be really well trained to help you unpack all of that, and help you figure out what you want to do, and how to get it done
I know that there is a lot of manipulation in relationships that is almost impossible to be seen in a social situation. Have you been together for 3 months?
What happened when you talked to him?
At this current stage you are going to lose her to another guy at some point.
My advice to you is completely cut her off now and she might just realise what she’s missing, you still fall asleep on the phone etc – which shows she does like having you around.
If she doesn’t try to sort things after cutting her off then you lose her but you were always going to anyway, if she does realise what she’s missing then you get her back.
Your narcissism is showing, congratulations you played yourself lmao
I like your level-headed answer.
This is more of a “some people aren't your people” situation. Yeah she chose to date people he didn't like, that just means she wasn't going to be a fit for him and vice versa. It's not about making the right choices, just some things aren't for you, no matter how much you want them.
I know people say go to marriage counselling often but I think couples counselling could be a great help here. And it might turn out that to guys are not compatible. And maybe it can help you find a compromise between. Maybe she can learn downhill skiing and you can do that with her. And the next day she can have a spa day or day reading in front of the fire whilst you go cross country skiing.
But definitely no children. Make sure your protection is safe. It always surprises me the people who babytrap. She may want to force you to the next stage. But hopefully she is nothing like that.
I know people say go to marriage counselling often but I think couples counselling could be a great help here. And it might turn out that to guys are not compatible. And maybe it can help you find a compromise between. Maybe she can learn downhill skiing and you can do that with her. And the next day she can have a spa day or day reading in front of the fire whilst you go cross country skiing.
But definitely no children. Make sure your protection is safe. It always surprises me the people who babytrap. She may want to force you to the next stage. But hopefully she is nothing like that.
I used to do that. Only be with people who needed fixing in some way. For me, it came from my family too. The only way my family would show me love or appreciation was if I did something for them. So of course that’s what I looked for in my adult life.
Once I took a few years and really found out what I liked about myself and learned how to love myself, I no longer wanted someone who want my equal. I hope that helps or maybe gives some possible insight.
What about adopting an older child ? A child on their 10s that way by the time they’re 30 you guys are 60. Idk maybe that could be a compromise/ option
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Tell her you'll go to appointments with her AND the other guy she had sex with and you can all 3 pay for the appointments and all 3 of you can pay for the DNA test. Do not give her money.
At first I was like ”this dude doesn’t want his wife hanging out with her friends because they’re single?? That’s oddly possessive” but then this whole Ben not wanting to meet you and you never being invited thing came up. A huge red flag! Ben probably has a thing for your wife and your wife either entertains it or is playing dumb and does not want to stop it (those would be my thoughts on this at least).
A serious conversation has to be had with your wife on this. Lead exactly with how you feel, why this situation makes you feel that way. That you are happy she has friends but upset that she does not want to include you in at least on an occasion. That you’re upset that her friend (Ben) does not want to even give you a chance to get to know him and befriend him too. This isn’t supposed to be an accusotary talk, as those can close your wife off even more. But to show that you’re interested in her life, her friends and her happiness. If she responds to this oddly… there might be something even more odd going on here.
I appreciate your understanding.
I have no advice because I'm going through the same thing. It sucks.
What exactly could he say to make you stay?
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I wouldn’t recommend destroying anything right now, OP might feel different after processing things for a couple days. We think and feel a lot differently right after learning something bad
Ok that person has issues – you’re clearly not being a shitty friend, you clearly are concerned with her well-being as well as the baby’s.
It sounds like she is in deep denial about being pregnant… did you call her out on it when she said this to you? I don’t think it’s out of line – it’s not exactly controversial. 99% of people would agree that drinking heavily while pregnant can be extremely harmful.
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Except they started dating when she was 18 and he was 21.
18 and 24
A relationship is about trust, and you have to build that trust with time. Beginning a relationship does not mean she has to tell you everything about her. It seems she has some issues and sometimes your instincts are right, maybe something is not right. but if you force the issue it can backfire. Sometimes we need time to let sort things out, make time for yourself, and when you're calm speak with her in person about it. You have feelings too and you need to let her know.
A relationship is about trust, and you have to build that trust with time. Beginning a relationship does not mean she has to tell you everything about her. It seems she has some issues and sometimes your instincts are right, maybe something is not right. but if you force the issue it can backfire. Sometimes we need time to let sort things out, make time for yourself, and when you're calm speak with her in person about it. You have feelings too and you need to let her know.
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overprotective older brother persona while punching open hand: “what did he say and point him out”
You definitely deserve better
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Lol
“Oh, honey. It’s over between us. You failed my test.”
Funnily enough, the federal minimum age for buying cigarettes has actually been raised. 21 is now when you can buy cigarettes. So at 18, you can buy lotto tickets and enlist in the military, but no cigarettes.
That’s what you get for dating someone old as your dad ??♀️?♀️ how about you break it off grow tf up and find someone your age
Like his desire for success in that goal seems to say more about his view of himself than it does about a genuine desire to please you sexually
Exactly this. It's all selfish.
It would destroy the relationship. You should just break up with him and move on.
You need to do what you need to do. If not now, it's like when? After he dies? Is that kinder? She betrayed you but it sounds like you have a lot of compassion for her and I encourage you to extend that to the situation with her dad by being as accommodating as possible in terms of the home and dog situation. Break up asap, but I think it would be appropriate to wait until her father passes to discuss selling the house because that's a very stressful thing to add to her pile. She might want to move home with her parents for the time being anyway given that she's not home much, but don't put it on the market until she's had some time to grieve.
She “accidentally” went into your room and looked at your private stuff?
She sounds suss herself.
Yeah. Op loves his father.
You need to lawyer up immediately.
Why the fuck would you message an ex from 4 years ago?
Move on and leave her alone.
When you really care about your partner, their monthly blood means nothing.
Was he getting them. The one time I forgot my phone going to lunch with coworkers my husbands dad died. I’ve never forgotten my Phone and the place was 30 mins away, so it was like 2-3 hours before I could respond. Felt so bad
We’ll you cheated but he cheated-cheated, it’s like attempted-murder vs murder, both deplorable but one is clearly worse if we’re keeping score, lol
Just because you screwed up doesn’t mean you can’t get a fresh start with someone else.
Either fake or dumb af
Dear playboy penthouse, I am either a shitty liar, or a shitty person…
Hell yeah man, you're gunna do just fine buddy.
Imagine that he is looking through a photo album, they are memories that he is processing. Really this should be with someone that knew her, but I guess you are his go to person.
Imagine you are some how both looking at a recording or film and he was in it so he is telling you all the bts details as he recalls those details.
He doesn't want to relive the memories, just go through them with someone close to him.
As another poster said, he broke up for a reason and chose you.
Just be careful not to make this a marathon with no breaks, instead consider managing this as short sprints where you take breaks and do normal things like get coffee and some fresh air or whatever runs for normal for you. You can offer to do something with him to maybe go somewhere they went and then come back to the present day after, otherwise you will both be exhausted and emotionally drained. (not everyone can do this but do try as it will help you with balance).
My best guess is it’s insecurity and jealousy and frankly a bit unattractive.
Just because she's been a long time friend does not mean you have to keep her as one now. People change and it's apparent she has chosen his friendship over yours. End the “friendship” & block her.
Never talked about $.
my comments have been about lack of effort. In the honeymoon stage.
To allow someone you know to on-line a lie for convenience is cowardice. Your friends and your partner are giving you bad advice. Easy is not always the best path.
Grow a backbone
So yeah … I saw this comment:
Stupidly after all of this, I let my feelings get in the way, and gave her a second chance.
I immediately stopped reading. And looked at the comments.
Not gonna read the rest. OP isn't worth it.
If she is considering breaking or engagement because of such a bs reason then propably she is not right woman to marry.
Imagine how much more bs you will have to deal with in marriage. It's easier to call of engagement then to divorce.
100% I will never get the people that thinks it's okay without discussing it. Cheating is cheating to me regardless of gender
It’s a she but thank you 🙂
I can't wait for whatever this shit-show bait turns into.
true but also seems like the ex is a horn dog with all his instagram follows, he was gonna cheat anyways
Idk some people don’t realise the obvious until it’s pointed out.
its trauma from her past exs i know its not right or fair but i want to be with her so im not sure what to do
sorry to say but you don't have a happy home. You aren't happy. You want something that it seems he cannot give. You are walking on eggshell because of his attachment style. Any real “healer” wants their client to be independent and not need them as a crutch. I am heavy into esoteric stuff but this is weird.
I've never been married but I still want a cheap wedding. I'd rather save my money for something long-lasting like a house (or even just to keep savings for lots of other life things), than blow a ton on a single day.
I think this is good advice for the most part, but I don't blame her for being a little offended. It sounds like she already clarified that she wants a lot of people, not flashy, and he's still insisting that that's a “big” wedding and therefore a bad use of savings.
Also, fiance acting like there's some objective definition of what's a “good” use of savings is kind of dumb. I would argue that a “good” use of savings is making sure you have the proper safety net for your situation in life and then spending on things that would make them the happiest. If they disagree on what makes them happy but recognize that this is subjective and each other's opinions are valid, then you have some great advice for compromising. If he's just going to shut her down as if “it's a bad use of savings” is the final word then that's another fair reason to be offended.
You may love her but you are not compatible with her. Break up and be friends
So not wanting sex with someone automatically means divorce in your books? Damn
Putting it like that made me laugh lol
Wow that's going a bit extreme.
He's enjoying fucking w you.
Run, red flag
What do you know about his dating history/ relationship history?
Why is he not dating someone closer to his age?
You need to look for signs of control, manipulation, love-bombing.
If no one invited you then no
Yeah man you should have really said it in private instead of doing it in front of everyone else. Do you always make problems with your gf public? Wasn't the right call to do so this time either.
Wasn’t meant as an abuse, I simply cannot imagine any other reason you would think staying with a future faking, gaslighting, manipulative partner who is condescending would be a good idea.
This sounds like you are backtracking now.
Spoiling a tv series, on it's own, should be a minor issue and is most likely being exacerbated by the “MANY things” you've been fighting about. “The Iranian Yogurt is not the issue here”.
What did they prescribe for the herniated disc pain? I was given tramadol for herniated discs. Went to sleep for 5 hrs and when I woke up I wasn’t sure who I was, where I was or what day it was. Knocked me completely out and felt drained when I woke up.
That said hubby doesn’t sound like he has a grasp on work life balance which is difficult given his amount of work hours plus night shift which makes things harder. Night shifts are hot on the body as it’s going against circadian rhythm. He can’t just check out of the marriage and parent responsibilities though. Marriage counseling could help and if it doesn’t then you know you know you marriage isn’t going to work
My current boyfriend and I started dating 5 years ago. He deleted his ex's nudes a week into talking to me. That's weird.