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SecretLove, y.o.
Location: Florida, United States
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Date: November 30, 2022
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If you criticize the baking, he's likely to get defensive. The bread isn't the problem, really. The problem is that you don't spend enough time together anymore. (And his house is a mess) Talk to him about setting aside X hours a week to spend time with you. Frame it as missing the connection with him, rather than criticizing his hobby.
This guy sounds like he might get a little obsessive about things. In a year, it might be origami or Bulgarian folk dance. The point is that he needs to be able to make room for quality time with you if the relationship is going to work.
I appreciate everyone giving their thoughts on this. To be clear I’ve been nothing but supportive and comforting to her, I just came to this subreddit bc I have nobody else to express my feelings to. I do trust my girlfriend, and after reading some comments I understand now why I shouldn’t expect her to be willing to get a rape kit done bc of how invasive and uncomfortable they are. I understand how scary this situation is for her and I’m gonna choose to play it by ear as time goes on and just try to be as supportive as I can. I’m gonna talk to her about how breaking our initial boundary is gonna take some time to rebuild that trust again. Regardless on how this ends between us I understand now that the last thing I should be doing is adding to her stress.
Maybe have an affair it's not cheating because you've already been together.
As a fellow introvert… this has nothing to do with being an introvert. What do you think he's wanting you to leave the house for? Next time he asks for alone time tell him you aren't leaving the house and he can jerk off discretely like every one else.
Tell her fine, she is entitled to her celibacy. You are entitled to be in a relationship with someone who is sexually compatible. So you are ending the relationship.
She didn't mention anything about dating, but about accepting her as a woman.
Get outta here.
yeah, this is something you have to think long and hard for yourself
1) You said he “might” have to relocate in the future. When is this?
1a) Do you want to date for long term or casual? Because if its casual, then dont hold any strings attached. But if you want long term, I doubt this is going to work
2) Sure, you can be careful so you dont get hurt but putting limits on hanging out with someone who you supposedly enjoy's company? so weird.
Men are not a monolith who all think and act the same way.
If you want to know if that was an issue for HIM, ask him.
Remind that you did not commit to somone who saves those photos on his phone.
The classic thought is that no woman wants to know that her man is having sex with another woman. If she is truly asexual, not just not turned on by you, then it really is very loving and sacrificing to overcome that resistance to see that your needs are met. Relationships are too complicated to do the complete black and white view. My thoughts on that have changed dramatically over years of observation. Some things remain absolute, but others not so much.
These posts are what makes me hate Reddit. Because if you were a woman complaining about the exact same situation, there would be a drastically different consensus.
I was thinking this too. Then upon hearing the post history, ick. I mean its still not the worst news. OP can't be that special. But its definitely super shitty for her to have to experience
'Guys' can be stupid? It 'isn't that bad'?
It is that bad. He left them without any health insurance or any way to pay their fucking bills. He sabotaged their marriage, the future of his career and his spouses financial, mental and emotional wellbeing. That's pretty on par with 'cheating' in damage points I'd say.
My dude, you have little to no self esteem.
Dump this chick, get to a gym, and start working on your purpose.
OP chose not to.
I couldn't move and couldn't afford the constant trips for the longest time.
This isn't going to work out. Starting already in LDR is rough. You say he is the best thing in your life, but is easy to appear great, when you don't need to put actual effort in. You don't know him, and won't know him unless you online together in real life.
I think you should seek relationship with someone living closer to you.
u/bret1625, please seek therapy…
Not many people understand
he might be overwhelmed. imagine if you love fried chicken but you eat fried chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner. sometimes you want to eat veggies for a change.
if you have sex 2-3 times a day not sure if he got that excited with sex. back then i used to have sex 1-2 times a week cos we have different work schedule. one time we have sex 4 days in a row and in fourth day it feels less exciting and my load wasn't that much.
everything that's kinda “hard to get” is exciting when you get it. but if you get it daily then it's not “hard to get” anymore and the novelty wears off.
you saved up to buy a designer bag, when you get it, you'll be super excited. but when the company offered you to give one bag daily for the rest of your life, you might be excited at first but after awhile it won't be exciting anymore. (it can be exciting if you sell it and buy something else, but you can't sell sex)
That is exactly why people overdose.
They do drugs, get a resistance, then stop, tolerance resets, then they get out of the wagon. As for dosages they do the same as last time, but this time they don't have the same tolerance.