76 thoughts on “Shannol-Ryan online webcams for YOU!”
he's never been to my place hence why i never had condoms, i was also a virgin before we got together and he knew this so i assumed he would take initiative. he didn't the first time but it was in the moment and also didn't the few times after. so now i'll take it into my own hands haha
I'm not trying to justify his actions, but is there any chance that he was lying on Reddit and not to you? Sometimes when I post something from my main account, I'd intentionally mention a different age or slightly change some facts, because the posts can be very personal and I don't want my friends who read same subreddits to find out it was written by me. So sometimes I change some facts just for the sake of that.
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I'm a woman and i have to say, I'm kind of shocked, i had no idea there were women who didn't get sexual pleasure from there breast. Don't get me wrong, i understand that a lot of women think that breast shouldn't be sexualize in terms of everyday life and going with or without a bra, etc. I just didn't know that for some women having there breasts play with didn't produce direct sexual pleasure. This has been eye opening.
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There are a couple of women who's husband's had affairs with their therapists. The therapists manipulated them. So far, one has lost her job. Maybe someone reading this will remember the names of the redditors who post about it. Started with long sessions,(they were having sex), texts that seemed personal, etc. These are red flags.
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Thank you for helping me clear out my mind. You seem to understand as well. And yes it is my most vulnerable self is my sexual self, my most intimate expression of love and acceptance so I guess that is where the fear stems from being “rejected”
Don't break up just because some bitter people here tell you to do so. I would talk about it with her and then brush it off. It doesn't sound too bad in my opinion. Good luck!
Yes. But it won't show which one he is the father of. Just that he's not the father of the one he has worries about. Genetics are weird and it is equally possible that he is not the father of the other boy. But if the test comes back that the boys are not related he will assume which one he is not the father of.
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She’s asked me to go to chipotle before but unfortunately I was busy. I don’t think that was her flirting though, because that was the same night she was upset my friend rejected her. But I’ll definitely try that out
Yeah I agree, if I end up “giving in” too many times. I feel shit, and I end up hating my partner. Funny thing is I’ve only ever felt like I have to “give in” when the sex in the first place is very one sided (aka it’s not for my pleasure)
Yes! She was very supportive because of what I do to help her. The minimum she gets per successful session is 5. There was one time she counted 19. Those higher ones may be when I'm not up to intercourse or if it's been more than a week since a session. I think something is off today.
It might be worth getting in touch with a doctor/specialist, if that's the case then they can point you in the direction of much better help than reddit
It sounds like you don't even want to be him, and I can't blame you if that is the case. He doesn't sound very nice. If it's validation or a green light you're looking for by posting here, I think you've got enough cause to break up with him.
Your bf was incredibly rude. This isn't about sexual orientation. Your dad might be concerned that you are with someone who is not a healthy respectful partner. Which very well may be the case. I see you saying he is just an idiot, but frankly that non-explanation would only satisfy a teenager.
Generally someone wants to make a good impression on their partner's parents. How seriously they take that is often an indicator of how much they respect their partner, and actually care about a future with their partner. So now your dad might be worried you are being taken advantage of by a jerk who doesn't care about embarrassing you in front of your family. If he would behave this way in front of them, how does he behave normally? I'm sure these are some of the things going through his head, and he has no idea how to express them without coming across like he doesn't support you as a person.
As a parent, meeting your child's partner puts things on a whole new visceral level. You know the trope about dads giving their daughters boyfriends a hot time? It is exactly that. There may be an extra layer of awkwardness because your partner is another guy, who knows? But I doubt that is the core of it. Dads in general get very touchy about an intimate partner disrespecting their son or daughter. Now imagine a girl brings a bf to meet her parents and he jokes about fucking her in the ass in front of the whole family. In some families he would get punched in the face. It is not only disrespectful to her, it is super disrespectful to everyone in the room. I would say your parents handled that with admirable restraint.
I think you have tbh. Not sure why I'm getting downvoted since on any other post about fwb with a coworker I'd be upvoted, but yes I'd say you're more in a relationship than a fwb situation. That's pretty much the impression everyone else has here too. If that's not what you want or you're concerned then I think you need to have an honest conversation with him.
Before I even got to the story you listed 5 legitimate reasons why you should’ve left a long time ago. You stuck around and you unfortunately found out what else he was capable of. Do not let fear keep you from finding out what he will do the next time he snaps. Please please please get out.
No one who loved him would scream at him or you. No one who loved him would make him sob like that. If they somehow did, they'd be distraught and horrified when they realised.
The thing that made me realise my mother didn't love me was when I had my first child. I asked myself “would I ever speak to her like that? Is there any possible scenario where I would make her feel that way? Would I ever see her sob and be angry at her for it? If I ever made her feel that way, would I be ok with that or would it break me?”
Maybe getting him to think about it from his child's perspective could make him have an epiphany.
As a shy woman who has ghosted a handful of guys myself, I've acted this exact same way when I wasn't interested. Being so shy I didn't know how to say it so I hoped ignoring the guy and ghosting would make them stop liking me.
I've held hands with guys through dates I hated. I've told guys I had a good time, I've kissed/hugged goodbye when I thought I was supposed to, I've suggested more live! type things instead of in-person ones, I've blamed work and being tired for not hanging out, said that I slept through notifications, didn't get texts because of phone problems, etc.
It sucks with shy people because persistence really helps us break out of our shell, but there's no way of the other person knowing if we're just too shy to say it's not working out.
have been considering maybe sending her a letter if she doesn't text me before Saturday
(Definitely don't do that)
This is just my experience!! If you got the vibe that she really liked you then maybe try texting her to see if she's playing Roblox (idk what this is so I'll assume it's an online game where you can message while you play).
Keep things casual and friendly with no pressure to see if she comes around for a simple game where she can leave at any time and take her time responding. Don't mention the upcoming date at all (yet), pretend you forgot and see how she acts. I would do this thing where I would pretend I forget we made plans and hope the guy wouldn't ask, but I'd reply to friendly messages. If she replies ask if she still wants to hang out that day (I would make an excuse if I didn't want to go).
After the first time she did it, why were you two even socializing with her. Are you wife’s parents still living, why did they allow this? I would go NC the other all of them. Side note, please encourage your wife to see a therapist. Her sister and family have failed her miserably.
Illegal? no, but fantasizing about other men, her exes, during our intimate moments? That's one of the most valid reasons for a break up.
And let's not forget, she fucked both of them right before they were official (getting a few good fucks right before she settles down with the lousy fuck) and also keeping them on the hook during the first few months of the relationship just in case.
In his position? I would divorce and also get a paternity test. A person that disrespects me like that, and also does not enjoy sex with me (because she needs to fantasize about other men during it) does not deserve my attention. Then again, I would never start a relationship and marry a person that fucked 2 other people right before we “were official”.
Again, the mental gymnastics some women go through to justify their actions is mind boggling.
Let me ask you a question, would you be ok if your partner was fantasizing about other people, from their past, during intimate moments with you? Do you consider that normal? If you are giving yourself, your body in an intimate moment, with your monogamous partner, and that partner, is fantasizing about people from their past in order to enjoy it?
I appreciate yalls comments. I realize I would probably only be putting more pressure on her for zero reason. She recently told me I bring her peace and I wouldn't want to tarnish such a valuable statement over a non-issue. I do genuinely care about her happiness and comfort and I think we'll both be happier with words unsaid
Sweet Jesus; if this isn't fake fucking run (I'm hoping it was typed with one hand, because as annoying as it is to have bored assholes spam this forum with fake or nonsensical scenarios or masturbatory fantasies, this scenario bein real is far, far more disturbing).
Weird tests aren't an okay thing to which to subject a partner at all; there is no way to “test” whether you're cheating even if they were; “emotional cheating” – and the thought policing people try to do in response – isn't a thing, except in the minds of manipulative, controlling people who are too insecure to have healthy relationships; and pressuring you to be in a creepy semi-incestuous sexual situation is inappripriate even if all the rest of that weren't the case.
Your fiance has serious mental illness that is prompting bizarre, harmful behavior and radically delusional thinking. She's not healthy enough to be in an intimate relatiknship. You need to call off the wedding immediately and break up with her. It sounds like she has family members who can help her get psychological treatment, but if they're not reliable, you could stay in friendly contact at least long enough to get her set up with a psychotherapist. That said, it's not your responsibility if you don't feel able or just don't want to.
Absolutely do not marry this woman under any circumstances.
Lmao the no partners allowed is clearly been a rule implemented so you can’t go. He needs to set boundaries with his ex, ie definitely no two nights away especially if you’re not invited and prioritising you when yous are out or he needs to end that friendship.
This is my understanding and I agree. For myself, I went in 100% with the attitude that it would not be reversible and, if I ended up wanting kids, it would be adoption or artificial insemination.
Best birth control for all involved. I think it's nuts that the ACA in the US doesn't mandate that it be covered 100%, but at least it's better than France where it's outright illegal.
Kinda obviously a human trafficker right there. Yeah no, if she wants to see the country get a regular tour or something and don't go alone. This is am absolutely 100% terrible idea.
Read your last post. Good for you that you made a choice (which yes you absolutely did). But now you can’t be surprised that your mom made a choice accordingly as well. Good luck to you and your (dad’s) family
It came across like the other guy (rick) agreed to casual sex. I don’t know what casual dinners are – lol other than just being friends? So in that case why worry? And no you shouldn’t assume the first guy is ending being a hookup with you just cause he is busy. He is saying he will be in touch when he wants sex. Hence the owed comment, because he doesn’t owe you an explanation – it’s pretty self explanatory in hookup culture
She might not. I’m not saying charging rent for a BF living with you is always wrong, it depends on different factors. But the way you write it, it sounds like you have a landlord more than a GF.
If she sucks at expressing herself in texts, that's probably not the best communication method for finding the answer. Ask her out on a date and ask her face to face.
A lot of 23-year-olds. It's not cool and it sucks but they are moving from the insular life of college dorms into navigating real-world scenarios, and they make mistakes.
For most young people OP's age one terrifying situation is enough for them to learn safe limits and picking better drinking friends. For those going into alcoholism, it's just the beginning of bad ideas.
I still think the BFs reaction is misplaced with more concern for himself and a fantasy she's a cheater, than his girlfriend can't handle her liquor and endangered herself.
I hope she finds out about this and she dumps you. What you did was wrong. You violated her privacy for no good reason. What you found out that is that she was communicating with someone else before you were exclusive. There’s nothing wrong with that. Snooping in someone’s phone is wrong.
Frankly, I don't trust his change is long term. Or that he won't resent you when the times are tough. I think marriage is wonderful. However, it's also a long term run with lots of ups and downs (sometimes for months and years of down) – which, in addition to love, requires a very deep commitment to the institution of marriage.
I suggest you two take a break. You need some distance so you can make a rational decision.
True love will survive a break if there's a deep commitment.
So like. I’ve not seen or read any studies on this. But from my experience, it could be 1 or 2 things.
you have a ph imbalances, which can be corrected and is no big deal.
Maybe you and your BF aren’t as “compatible” as you think. There has only been a hand full of girls I had “odor” (pheromones) problems with, and I’m pretty sure it just boiled down to the fact that they either didn’t take care of themselves and their ph balance properly or we weren’t meant to be an item (again pheromones).
That’s kinda how I look at it though anymore though.
You won't take any advice from anyone here because you are really only concerned about yourself and what you feel. You are interested in this man because he is unavailable. That is like a drug for you. And you clearly have issues. You console him when he feels badly for cheating on his wife, and then cheat on his wife with him. You are not doing anyone any favors, not even yourself with this relationship. He will never be faithful to anyone. Not to his wife, not to that girl he fell for, not to you, not to the next women he is with. Please end it.
Okay if I'm honest, you sound like you might be suffering from depression. It doesn't always look like sadness, sometimes it can be malaise, boredom, etc.
Stop all contact with the college flame. Go to individual therapy for your malaise and start planning romantic one on one time with your partner, things you loved and were passionate about early on. Try this, genuinely try to feel the love and romance again, for a year or two.
If you genuinely cannot feel love for him after that, then propose a year of separation where you don't have other partners but you don't spend time together except for coparenting. I suspect if it gets to that point you will miss him. (But you can't have other partners in the meantime. This isn't about comparing him or playing the field).
Usually women come here with every complaint in the book. You have no complaints, just a vague sense of not being passionate. That alone tells me you will regret this decision.
If you're not happy with the direction things are going, put an end to it and find someone who you'd be mire happy with. It's easier to find closer to what you want than believing that you are going to be ae to change someone and make them into the partner you're looking for.
Can you please explain this weird division of labor? The only place I see this on the internet is this sub. Somehow wives have to manage their families, and husbands have to manage theirs. Somehow, it's weirdly inappropriate to cross the streams? I don't get it.
There are no hot and fast rules around these things and certainly everyone will have different opinions on it. Personally, all I care about is the full context of the situation. Some people focus entirely on time (and I'm not at all saying that's not important), but logically people could be “dating” for 6 months but have only actually gone on a low number of dates. Would a situation like that be a stronger argument for defining a relationship compared to two people dating for a couple months who've gone out 10 times? I'd argue all day that I'd be far more confident in the latter situation.
I obviously went on a tangent there, and despite saying all that, I'd still be fairly cautious about how you proceed. It's been a few weeks and 5 dates. So far so good, but you are still logically strangers and have quite a bit to learn about each other. More importantly, given the fact that you've described things as going incredibly well, while if I'm being honest I'd assume if you brought it up it would be received well, I largely believe that you have no reason to press the issue at this point.
There doesn't seem to be any sort of risk that you not showing you're committed this early will result in you losing her, nor does there seem to be a realistic risk that she's seeing anybody else even if you haven't established exclusivity.
So to reiterate and answer your question, I again do think you'd probably be fine if you initiated the conversation now, but I wouldn't. I'd give it another few weeks to allow yourself to really confirm the situation. Good luck.
Is it because you don’t want to tell people that you had an emotional affair with your husbands boss? Just lie and say you met him at the grocery store. You can’t possibly be worried about the ethics of it at this point.
Sweetie dump this man. He's emotionally manipulating you and is trying to guilt trip you into doing something you said from the start you weren't comfortable with.
Open relationships/polygamy isn't by themselves a problem but they need a degree of trust that your ex isn't capable of.
He doesn't love you really he just likes having you around. Him trying to push boundaries like this is a clear sign he doesn't truly care about you. You're still young I'm positive you can find somebody that truly cares about you and won't push your boundaries like this.
he's never been to my place hence why i never had condoms, i was also a virgin before we got together and he knew this so i assumed he would take initiative. he didn't the first time but it was in the moment and also didn't the few times after. so now i'll take it into my own hands haha
You have to break up with her. You’re not sexually compatible. You will resent her if you miss out on kids and sex because you chose to stay.
I'm not trying to justify his actions, but is there any chance that he was lying on Reddit and not to you? Sometimes when I post something from my main account, I'd intentionally mention a different age or slightly change some facts, because the posts can be very personal and I don't want my friends who read same subreddits to find out it was written by me. So sometimes I change some facts just for the sake of that.
Thank you!!
I really hope and pray you two were not intimate during the vacation so he knows what to expect with mommy
OR
You two had loud passionate sex the entire three days without leaving the hotel.
I would also have a chat with mother and boyfriend about boundaries in a neutral place like a restaurant, if I was you.
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I'm a woman and i have to say, I'm kind of shocked, i had no idea there were women who didn't get sexual pleasure from there breast. Don't get me wrong, i understand that a lot of women think that breast shouldn't be sexualize in terms of everyday life and going with or without a bra, etc. I just didn't know that for some women having there breasts play with didn't produce direct sexual pleasure. This has been eye opening.
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There are a couple of women who's husband's had affairs with their therapists. The therapists manipulated them. So far, one has lost her job. Maybe someone reading this will remember the names of the redditors who post about it. Started with long sessions,(they were having sex), texts that seemed personal, etc. These are red flags.
That sounds like abuse to me.
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Thank you for helping me clear out my mind. You seem to understand as well. And yes it is my most vulnerable self is my sexual self, my most intimate expression of love and acceptance so I guess that is where the fear stems from being “rejected”
Don't break up just because some bitter people here tell you to do so. I would talk about it with her and then brush it off. It doesn't sound too bad in my opinion. Good luck!
Yes. But it won't show which one he is the father of. Just that he's not the father of the one he has worries about. Genetics are weird and it is equally possible that he is not the father of the other boy. But if the test comes back that the boys are not related he will assume which one he is not the father of.
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She’s asked me to go to chipotle before but unfortunately I was busy. I don’t think that was her flirting though, because that was the same night she was upset my friend rejected her. But I’ll definitely try that out
Yeah I agree, if I end up “giving in” too many times. I feel shit, and I end up hating my partner. Funny thing is I’ve only ever felt like I have to “give in” when the sex in the first place is very one sided (aka it’s not for my pleasure)
Yeah, this part is genuinely odd. Maybe normal for people much younger, super strange for grown adults.
Not to mention, I sure as shit am not accepting “I don't know” when I ask why they called 8 times.
Yes! She was very supportive because of what I do to help her. The minimum she gets per successful session is 5. There was one time she counted 19. Those higher ones may be when I'm not up to intercourse or if it's been more than a week since a session. I think something is off today.
It might be worth getting in touch with a doctor/specialist, if that's the case then they can point you in the direction of much better help than reddit
It sounds like you don't even want to be him, and I can't blame you if that is the case. He doesn't sound very nice. If it's validation or a green light you're looking for by posting here, I think you've got enough cause to break up with him.
Your bf was incredibly rude. This isn't about sexual orientation. Your dad might be concerned that you are with someone who is not a healthy respectful partner. Which very well may be the case. I see you saying he is just an idiot, but frankly that non-explanation would only satisfy a teenager.
Generally someone wants to make a good impression on their partner's parents. How seriously they take that is often an indicator of how much they respect their partner, and actually care about a future with their partner. So now your dad might be worried you are being taken advantage of by a jerk who doesn't care about embarrassing you in front of your family. If he would behave this way in front of them, how does he behave normally? I'm sure these are some of the things going through his head, and he has no idea how to express them without coming across like he doesn't support you as a person.
As a parent, meeting your child's partner puts things on a whole new visceral level. You know the trope about dads giving their daughters boyfriends a hot time? It is exactly that. There may be an extra layer of awkwardness because your partner is another guy, who knows? But I doubt that is the core of it. Dads in general get very touchy about an intimate partner disrespecting their son or daughter. Now imagine a girl brings a bf to meet her parents and he jokes about fucking her in the ass in front of the whole family. In some families he would get punched in the face. It is not only disrespectful to her, it is super disrespectful to everyone in the room. I would say your parents handled that with admirable restraint.
I’m literally 9 months pregnant and my mom cringed when I made a joke that implied I might have had sex.
I think you have tbh. Not sure why I'm getting downvoted since on any other post about fwb with a coworker I'd be upvoted, but yes I'd say you're more in a relationship than a fwb situation. That's pretty much the impression everyone else has here too. If that's not what you want or you're concerned then I think you need to have an honest conversation with him.
Before I even got to the story you listed 5 legitimate reasons why you should’ve left a long time ago. You stuck around and you unfortunately found out what else he was capable of. Do not let fear keep you from finding out what he will do the next time he snaps. Please please please get out.
IMO, if it's in the past why are you on the list? The past is before you, so his excuse is a bunch of BS.
No one who loved him would scream at him or you. No one who loved him would make him sob like that. If they somehow did, they'd be distraught and horrified when they realised.
The thing that made me realise my mother didn't love me was when I had my first child. I asked myself “would I ever speak to her like that? Is there any possible scenario where I would make her feel that way? Would I ever see her sob and be angry at her for it? If I ever made her feel that way, would I be ok with that or would it break me?”
Maybe getting him to think about it from his child's perspective could make him have an epiphany.
You arent interested in women relationships or women in sex
As a shy woman who has ghosted a handful of guys myself, I've acted this exact same way when I wasn't interested. Being so shy I didn't know how to say it so I hoped ignoring the guy and ghosting would make them stop liking me.
I've held hands with guys through dates I hated. I've told guys I had a good time, I've kissed/hugged goodbye when I thought I was supposed to, I've suggested more live! type things instead of in-person ones, I've blamed work and being tired for not hanging out, said that I slept through notifications, didn't get texts because of phone problems, etc.
It sucks with shy people because persistence really helps us break out of our shell, but there's no way of the other person knowing if we're just too shy to say it's not working out.
have been considering maybe sending her a letter if she doesn't text me before Saturday
(Definitely don't do that)
This is just my experience!! If you got the vibe that she really liked you then maybe try texting her to see if she's playing Roblox (idk what this is so I'll assume it's an online game where you can message while you play).
Keep things casual and friendly with no pressure to see if she comes around for a simple game where she can leave at any time and take her time responding. Don't mention the upcoming date at all (yet), pretend you forgot and see how she acts. I would do this thing where I would pretend I forget we made plans and hope the guy wouldn't ask, but I'd reply to friendly messages. If she replies ask if she still wants to hang out that day (I would make an excuse if I didn't want to go).
After the first time she did it, why were you two even socializing with her. Are you wife’s parents still living, why did they allow this? I would go NC the other all of them. Side note, please encourage your wife to see a therapist. Her sister and family have failed her miserably.
No. My answer is no. I’m assuming you know what this means.
Illegal? no, but fantasizing about other men, her exes, during our intimate moments? That's one of the most valid reasons for a break up.
And let's not forget, she fucked both of them right before they were official (getting a few good fucks right before she settles down with the lousy fuck) and also keeping them on the hook during the first few months of the relationship just in case.
In his position? I would divorce and also get a paternity test. A person that disrespects me like that, and also does not enjoy sex with me (because she needs to fantasize about other men during it) does not deserve my attention. Then again, I would never start a relationship and marry a person that fucked 2 other people right before we “were official”.
Again, the mental gymnastics some women go through to justify their actions is mind boggling.
Let me ask you a question, would you be ok if your partner was fantasizing about other people, from their past, during intimate moments with you? Do you consider that normal? If you are giving yourself, your body in an intimate moment, with your monogamous partner, and that partner, is fantasizing about people from their past in order to enjoy it?
I'd tell em how you feel. Sometimes you gotta put the first foot forward. See what happens.
She cheated. But they weren’t married or even engaged.
How serious was the relationship at that point?
Please break up your posts into paragraphs. It's much easier to read.
I appreciate yalls comments. I realize I would probably only be putting more pressure on her for zero reason. She recently told me I bring her peace and I wouldn't want to tarnish such a valuable statement over a non-issue. I do genuinely care about her happiness and comfort and I think we'll both be happier with words unsaid
Sweet Jesus; if this isn't fake fucking run (I'm hoping it was typed with one hand, because as annoying as it is to have bored assholes spam this forum with fake or nonsensical scenarios or masturbatory fantasies, this scenario bein real is far, far more disturbing).
Weird tests aren't an okay thing to which to subject a partner at all; there is no way to “test” whether you're cheating even if they were; “emotional cheating” – and the thought policing people try to do in response – isn't a thing, except in the minds of manipulative, controlling people who are too insecure to have healthy relationships; and pressuring you to be in a creepy semi-incestuous sexual situation is inappripriate even if all the rest of that weren't the case.
Your fiance has serious mental illness that is prompting bizarre, harmful behavior and radically delusional thinking. She's not healthy enough to be in an intimate relatiknship. You need to call off the wedding immediately and break up with her. It sounds like she has family members who can help her get psychological treatment, but if they're not reliable, you could stay in friendly contact at least long enough to get her set up with a psychotherapist. That said, it's not your responsibility if you don't feel able or just don't want to.
Absolutely do not marry this woman under any circumstances.
Lmao the no partners allowed is clearly been a rule implemented so you can’t go. He needs to set boundaries with his ex, ie definitely no two nights away especially if you’re not invited and prioritising you when yous are out or he needs to end that friendship.
This is my understanding and I agree. For myself, I went in 100% with the attitude that it would not be reversible and, if I ended up wanting kids, it would be adoption or artificial insemination.
Best birth control for all involved. I think it's nuts that the ACA in the US doesn't mandate that it be covered 100%, but at least it's better than France where it's outright illegal.
In constant dread about what?
Kinda obviously a human trafficker right there. Yeah no, if she wants to see the country get a regular tour or something and don't go alone. This is am absolutely 100% terrible idea.
Read your last post. Good for you that you made a choice (which yes you absolutely did). But now you can’t be surprised that your mom made a choice accordingly as well. Good luck to you and your (dad’s) family
It came across like the other guy (rick) agreed to casual sex. I don’t know what casual dinners are – lol other than just being friends? So in that case why worry? And no you shouldn’t assume the first guy is ending being a hookup with you just cause he is busy. He is saying he will be in touch when he wants sex. Hence the owed comment, because he doesn’t owe you an explanation – it’s pretty self explanatory in hookup culture
She might not. I’m not saying charging rent for a BF living with you is always wrong, it depends on different factors. But the way you write it, it sounds like you have a landlord more than a GF.
If she sucks at expressing herself in texts, that's probably not the best communication method for finding the answer. Ask her out on a date and ask her face to face.
But it’s also a red flag to freak out THIS heavily without even attempting to ask for the truth from the source…
A lot of 23-year-olds. It's not cool and it sucks but they are moving from the insular life of college dorms into navigating real-world scenarios, and they make mistakes.
For most young people OP's age one terrifying situation is enough for them to learn safe limits and picking better drinking friends. For those going into alcoholism, it's just the beginning of bad ideas.
I still think the BFs reaction is misplaced with more concern for himself and a fantasy she's a cheater, than his girlfriend can't handle her liquor and endangered herself.
Well, I’m reading some other things you’re commented on and he does sound like a jerk. I’m sorry.
I hope she finds out about this and she dumps you. What you did was wrong. You violated her privacy for no good reason. What you found out that is that she was communicating with someone else before you were exclusive. There’s nothing wrong with that. Snooping in someone’s phone is wrong.
Your bf cheats sn your sister did you a favor thank her an get a new boyfriend
Frankly, I don't trust his change is long term. Or that he won't resent you when the times are tough. I think marriage is wonderful. However, it's also a long term run with lots of ups and downs (sometimes for months and years of down) – which, in addition to love, requires a very deep commitment to the institution of marriage.
I suggest you two take a break. You need some distance so you can make a rational decision.
True love will survive a break if there's a deep commitment.
So like. I’ve not seen or read any studies on this. But from my experience, it could be 1 or 2 things.
you have a ph imbalances, which can be corrected and is no big deal.
Maybe you and your BF aren’t as “compatible” as you think. There has only been a hand full of girls I had “odor” (pheromones) problems with, and I’m pretty sure it just boiled down to the fact that they either didn’t take care of themselves and their ph balance properly or we weren’t meant to be an item (again pheromones).
That’s kinda how I look at it though anymore though.
Good point. OP should ask them (preferably both as there may be deleted chats) to show her
You texted him. He texted back. You're mad about that?
He's not required to give you affection. He's not attracted to the person you've become. You can fix that, or you can continue to pout.
Thank YOU! And also, happy cake day! This platform is better for having you on it! ❤️
Did your fiancé agree to this? Did he understand it would be long-term?
Worried about what? Why exactly are you doing this?
Narcissist’s hate it when you call their bluff.
You won't take any advice from anyone here because you are really only concerned about yourself and what you feel. You are interested in this man because he is unavailable. That is like a drug for you. And you clearly have issues. You console him when he feels badly for cheating on his wife, and then cheat on his wife with him. You are not doing anyone any favors, not even yourself with this relationship. He will never be faithful to anyone. Not to his wife, not to that girl he fell for, not to you, not to the next women he is with. Please end it.
Okay if I'm honest, you sound like you might be suffering from depression. It doesn't always look like sadness, sometimes it can be malaise, boredom, etc.
Stop all contact with the college flame. Go to individual therapy for your malaise and start planning romantic one on one time with your partner, things you loved and were passionate about early on. Try this, genuinely try to feel the love and romance again, for a year or two.
If you genuinely cannot feel love for him after that, then propose a year of separation where you don't have other partners but you don't spend time together except for coparenting. I suspect if it gets to that point you will miss him. (But you can't have other partners in the meantime. This isn't about comparing him or playing the field).
Usually women come here with every complaint in the book. You have no complaints, just a vague sense of not being passionate. That alone tells me you will regret this decision.
If you're not happy with the direction things are going, put an end to it and find someone who you'd be mire happy with. It's easier to find closer to what you want than believing that you are going to be ae to change someone and make them into the partner you're looking for.
Can you please explain this weird division of labor? The only place I see this on the internet is this sub. Somehow wives have to manage their families, and husbands have to manage theirs. Somehow, it's weirdly inappropriate to cross the streams? I don't get it.
This. So much this.
Because the difference is massive.
Diagnosis is a medical process that happens with a medical team headed by a doctor.
Deeming is a legal process that happens by the state, often led by a judge.
10% of the time is one out of 10 days. That’s a lot more than every month and a half. The math ain’t mathing.
It's a pub in Ireland. Everyone goes to pubs.
In what way, are you going to avoid certain people? Ban her from being in their presence? Seems like more trouble than it’s worth
I am worried for you. He’s going to kill you, the children or all of you. Please get help.
There are no hot and fast rules around these things and certainly everyone will have different opinions on it. Personally, all I care about is the full context of the situation. Some people focus entirely on time (and I'm not at all saying that's not important), but logically people could be “dating” for 6 months but have only actually gone on a low number of dates. Would a situation like that be a stronger argument for defining a relationship compared to two people dating for a couple months who've gone out 10 times? I'd argue all day that I'd be far more confident in the latter situation.
I obviously went on a tangent there, and despite saying all that, I'd still be fairly cautious about how you proceed. It's been a few weeks and 5 dates. So far so good, but you are still logically strangers and have quite a bit to learn about each other. More importantly, given the fact that you've described things as going incredibly well, while if I'm being honest I'd assume if you brought it up it would be received well, I largely believe that you have no reason to press the issue at this point.
There doesn't seem to be any sort of risk that you not showing you're committed this early will result in you losing her, nor does there seem to be a realistic risk that she's seeing anybody else even if you haven't established exclusivity.
So to reiterate and answer your question, I again do think you'd probably be fine if you initiated the conversation now, but I wouldn't. I'd give it another few weeks to allow yourself to really confirm the situation. Good luck.
Oof… ?
Why would it be too awkward?
Is it because you don’t want to tell people that you had an emotional affair with your husbands boss? Just lie and say you met him at the grocery store. You can’t possibly be worried about the ethics of it at this point.
I think r/amitheangel and r/amithedevil have a bunch of people who are, but it's more entertaining ngl.
I think r/amitheangel and r/amithedevil have a bunch of people who are, but it's more entertaining ngl.
Don't have children with this man.
Sweetie dump this man. He's emotionally manipulating you and is trying to guilt trip you into doing something you said from the start you weren't comfortable with.
Open relationships/polygamy isn't by themselves a problem but they need a degree of trust that your ex isn't capable of.
He doesn't love you really he just likes having you around. Him trying to push boundaries like this is a clear sign he doesn't truly care about you. You're still young I'm positive you can find somebody that truly cares about you and won't push your boundaries like this.