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Room for live! sex video chat ShyAndHappyCdns
Model from: ca
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1978-02-08
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorHazel
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Date: January 15, 2023
Apparently your free gf trial ran out, and it’s now a $1000 a month subscription service.
Truly, if what you do is that much different from what he does, you are right to have a proper mentor. Without it, you could miss out on so much, including what not to do
Yes, you cheated and this is so fucked up… what? Be a man and tell your wife.
Thanks, I get what you are saying. I've never been much of a game-player, but much of the advice out there makes it feel like you have to play games with women to some extent. I have been the one initiating the adult conversations and those have had decent results.
You don’t want to add to her burden…guy, what about your burden? She seems quite comfortable adding to it with zero emotional reciprocation.
This was my ex, depression without doing anything about it, because if he did, he would actually have to work and help around the house. That was not in his interest. Dead bedroom. I too was very empathic, until I woke up and realized I was being used and manipulated. That it isn’t a partnership, it’s me being taken advantage of. My kindness, my money, my love, all were twisted and used against me.
She not going to make any friends not doing anything all day in your house. You know where she could make friends? Work. She is also not going to get out of depression by being enabled to be a shut in.
You are working two jobs and paying for her for all bills, trips, etc. Without you ever feeling like you can say a word about how exhausted you are because you don’t want to rock the boat, or seem insensitive to depression. Why would she change it? All is free and with the added bonus of being guilt free.
Take it from me, there is a point you will get to where you realize if you are doing everything yourself, you may as well do it by yourself. I hope you get there quick. This isn’t going to change anytime soon because now she is used to it, and will fight to keep it.
We are all grown ups here we know what this is.
Yup. We really do.
Way to play in to some silly-ass stereotypes while justifying someone's controlling behavior.
Tell her to cut contact with him. If my gf had a male friends that was clearly showing he wants to be with her I wouldn’t want her being around him at all
I have raised whole ass human beings. So, I know. But, it still declines after marriage. Usually the more adventurous sex turns into marital missionary.
If he’s military, you should have extra support via military programs. Have u participated in them? Have you reached out? They have programs to help the spouse, kids, divorce, debt, etc.
No she does not have a point there at all. Her response to it is honestly almost worse than sharing them in the first place. What if you had shared her nude pics/videos with your friends and now videos of her are up on pornhub? You think she’d be understanding about that?!
Uh, besides the glaring age gap.. you had sex knowing you forgot your pill.. men pre-ejaculate during intercourse happens so even if he pulled out, you could still get pregnant.
I am hoping you omitted the part where you are long distance from one another or how she came over and made you dinner that night etc. As someone else pointed out she could be inept with social matters, or there are giant red flags being waved around the room and you are justified in feeling this way.
I fully believe people can change with time and effort, but if you want someone to check in on you and express concern for you when you are ill she might not be your person.
More like perceiving a threat and probing until he found out what the threat was.
That sort of curiosity is a protective instinct.
Stop listening to your mother. I can hear from your post that you want her to support you and be less critical. However you don't have that type of mother, she is clearly wanting you not to leave and experience the world, stay at home and be just like her and fulfill whatever role you are in right now, possibly scapegoat child given her comments, (key word “scapegoat child” for futher research).
You are going to have to strengthen your resilience and independence and do whatever you need to do without the backing of your mother, even going home may well be mentally draining for you. If you have other people in your life that can be your supporter or that you can work with to fulfill that role for you then that would be great, your mother is not going to be that person no matter how much you want her to be.
We cannot change the people around us, or what you are going to get from them. If is it negative then you have to learn to block it out, look elsewhere for your needs and understand eventually that they don't have control over what they can offer either, they are as much a product of their upbringing as you are. You seem to have some more self awareness but as someone who has worked on their independence I do know it is nude to accept that they will never be able to love you and be nice to you the way you would be to your children.
I was saved by kind grandparents who did show unconditional love and acceptance and I hope you have or find someone in your life to show that to you as you should have that.
Whatever your path, if you believe you can do it and you have the opportunity then do it no matter what she says, she is going to be scared of the world and you being in it, that doesn't mean you have to apply her standards to your life.
The end goal isn't to go to university, it is to get life experience and the qualifications that are required for the job you want to do. So if there is something you want to do then go for it.
I keep wondering if they already had sex, and if so – any chance she's pregnant? They might be asking for approval so they have an explanation on how he knocked her up while still keeping you in their lives.
If they truly repected you and/or didn't need a cover, they wouldn't keep pushing this. They're in dangerous territory with you but keep pushing. That could be a sign of guilt or fear.
I hope I'm wrong. But just a thought – they've broken your trust by talking about sex together. They've broken your trust by continuing to push after you've said no. Is it really so impossible to think they've broken your trust further?
Seems like Annie should probably learn when to leave work at the office.
Wait till the morning to have a discussion about it. Of course they'll be annoyed if they are randomly woken up and expected to apologize for something they have no recollection of doing. Just try and get some sleep, and put a pillow between you two to protect yourself.
It depends how much he notices how drunk she is and whether he has in any way voiced his worry, tried to get her help or done anything else to show he cares. Seeing how he can't even muster a pity finger every once in a while, I don't think any of these happened. I think he sees she's severely unhappy in their relationship and is drowning it in alcohol. He is OK with the situation as he has to put in zero effort apart from going to work. She takes care of the kids and the household and food is ready so why make a fuss if she's still functioning? There are people who either don't want to be alone or are afraid of something else keeping them in dead relationships eventhough they should clearly leave.
Dude just pick another day to celebrate or whatever. Be supportive and understanding of her situation, it's never easy to lose someone that you love and especially her story. Plus what's valentine's day about anyway? You can do it any other day.
I'm of the opinion that you need two things – better buddies, and a spine.
?
Do you really need to ask “what should I do?”. Get some self respect and find someone who doesn't see you as a silver medal.
NP, you’re asking a lot of good questions. I have found that’s one of the best ways to learn.
This one is on you broski. Sounds like she has a bad memory. If it's something you want then remind her. My wife is the same way when it comes to favors.
A tip for all men. Bring and only use your own condoms. Keep it in your pocket or if in your home hidden where only you know about it. It’s sad that no one can be trusted nowadays w sex.
Then when done w sex empty it in the sink and wash the condom w nude soapy water so they can’t go later and use the condom to try & impregnate themselves w o your knowledge.
Just like a Drake protects himself he puts naked sauce in his used condoms as one woman found out when she tried to use his used condom to make herself pregnant.
The law needs to be changed because if a woman doesn’t want to be pregnant she can abort and have no further contact or liability to the child. However if she has the baby even though the father doesn’t want the baby or to be a father it’s shit out of luck because if she has it the man has no choice and will be held for 18 years chid support even if he doesn’t ever want to see the child.
If a woman can opt out of having a baby then so should the father be able to opt out as well. But it’s not the way it works.
Imagine he weren't your boyfriend but just some guy at this party. You'd probably think it was pretty gross for him to be openly commenting on other people like that. So while you're very mired in feeling that this is “disrespect” for you. It's actually disrespect for all those women he was talking about. Even if he'd showed up single and at this party alone his behavior was pretty yucky. This should definitely impact the way you feel about him.
I’ve got some poly friends. And let me tell you they both at least suspected they were poly before entering an open relationship. The guy also has a much harder time finding other partners. But, importantly, he still values the open relationship because he has poly values and ideals.
Your bf doesn’t sound like that, he just sounds like he wants to have lots of casual sex and have a gf at home shouldering all of his emotional needs. And you don’t sound like that either. You need to cut him off. You’re not an accessory to get him into sex parties. You’re not getting what you need. And he’s not getting what he needs. You’ll love a number of people in your life, not just him, and plenty of them won’t be the right choice for you. But someone’s gonna love you and fulfill your needs. My vote’s for a breakup.
restraining order will do; i got tested middle of january and we met up late-ish december tho. the test did come back negative however i have done some research and im concerned that the test might not be accurate due to me taking it too soon? not sure ahh sorry if that’s a weird question
If it's someone where there is no expectation of exclusivity, or you haven't known them very long, it does make sense to ask for it. If you had a one night stand, a FWB or were dating a girl a couple of weeks, and they said they were pregnant, then I would say it would be silly NOT to get one.
If you're in a relationship, though, and you trust each other to be exclusive, then asking for a paternity test is the same as saying that you need nude proof she's not sleeping around, even if you have no reason to suspect her. It would be similar to if you had a girlfriend tell you she needed to go through all the drawers in your house, your pockets, your car, etc. looking for proof of another woman. You would probably be pretty offended, right? Not saying you shouldn't do it if you really don't trust her, but it very often is the end of the relationship, even if the kid is yours.
That being said, 5 months isn't that long, so I'm really not sure which side of the fence you'd place her.
But more important than any of that, PEOPLE STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY. STOOOP. CONDOMS COST LESS THAN DAYCARE. BY THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP. The fertile week thing is wishful thinking at best. 7 minutes of sex education should be enough for you to know that timing your unprotected sex
Going to PRISON for drinking and driving generally indicates that it wasn't an isolated incident or just a few beers.
That too! Honestly it all depends on how much effort/more effort OP wants to put in before calling it quits. If the girlfriend is willing to go for hypoallergenic dogs after this one I think it’s could work. OP gets used to this one, hopefully, and doesn’t have to worry about it again.
Wow so sorry did she respond to this?
You wanted to be a priority to someone who wouldn't make you a priority including trying to buy his affection which you need but not in this unhealthy way. The worst part is your not ready to let this go because your hoping he will come around,even if you talk again he won't give you what you want. On top of the unhealthy codependency you developed over this guy,you also have attachment issues that's why your resentful at how this situation turned out. Wouldn't a therapist be a good person to talk to than him?
You will need to evict him legally if he won’t leave. This means following the proper steps and give him the proper notice. What all that is can be searched live!.
Don't do it. You are in massive debt yourself. Pay your loans now so you aren't tempted to use the money.
Offer to start paying rent until you are ready to move out, and be clear that you will move out someday.
They are both adults who need to figure out their own solutions.
You giving them the money won't fix the underlying problems.
If they don't have the cash now, how on earth would they have the cash to pay you back later?
Fuck you lmao
He sounds like a whiny manipulative baby. Sorry to say this.
Time for a better BF!! He expects you to just accept everything and you do not need to. His parents will always be there and you will have no say. The cultural abuse doesn't need to be accepted.
Don’t know what to do now!
Expose her
They didn’t because they’re not married in real life. This is a fake post.
So in the moment – you didn’t do anything wrong, your BF did when he tried to keep going once you started to push his hands away.
Yes by not telling him before that it was actually hurting you, and just letting him continue you did make a mistake, because now he knows that he hurt you when he was trying to give you pleasure. That is something that will take time to process.
Now as for his cold shoulder – how many times do you need to be told that he’s uncomfortable? He doesn’t need to say more than that, and your continued refusal to accept that fact is making you come off as very needy and too dependent on him.
As for your excuse that “it never came up explicitly” if you don’t like something then you have the responsibility to say something, not wait for it to come up in conversation.
With the current (correct) climate of enthusiastic consent, you have told him that he kind of assaulted you in the past – how quickly do you think someone should process that information?
Could/should he be communicating better – absolutely, but to expect it from him, when your inability to communicate to him was the cause of this is hypocritical at best, severely toxic at worst.
Ok so this is the part I would dump him for
As im crying here, he is emotionless, just watching me cry. I tell him it hurts me when he acts like this because it makes me feel like he doesn’t care about me or how his actions are making me feel.
That's unnecessarily cold, cruel, and lacking in empathy.
In fact a lack of empathy might be how he managed to do a sex act to you that you don't like, multiple times, without ever seeking feedback. I get why he feels upset but the only person he should be angry with is himself.
OP he is trying to punish you for his own shortcomings, and he's doing it in a really deliberately hurtful way.
Could you read what you just wrote and honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say this is a good idea?
Reddit is inconsistent with this. In most cases people say you should go NC with people you have had sex with in the past.
Everything out of his mouth is a lie lol.
He gets mad if you open the wrong drawer? Why do young girls put up with this nonsense? He’s told you he’s verbally abusive, argumentative, rude, he treats his parents like dirt, but he’s charming? No he’s not, it’s a face he puts on. You can’t fix anyone. That’s not your job. You can’t be with someone because of who they might become. If he’s upsetting you over a drawer- run! Abusers aren’t always awful. They are lovely. Until they aren’t. Then they are super lovely again. Then they aren’t. Learn what a good relationship looks like. This isn’t it. If he wanted to change he would be appalled at his actions and in therapy. He isn’t.
dump him. spelling your name wrong in is phone just shows how little he cares about you.
Only way out is through, unfortunately. Good luck
No, you’re totally right. I cannot entirely blame him for that. I need to communicate things to him soon, and clearly. I just know I’m not in love anymore. When we tried to change things in the past to solve our intimacy issues, nothing ended up changing and only got worse. I’m not sure I have it in me to wait.
She’s already broken up with you and doesn’t know how to let you know
You get through it one breath, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. And if you can afford it, therapy might help
Troll post. Boring. Read her comments, she is broke and wants him to take care of her.
I have OCD, your wife can get through this but things need to change.
First, of course her OCD got worse, you gave into her compulsion (to get married), this is the #1 thing you are not supposed to do in OCD!
Is your wife getting specific OCD treatment (exposure and response prevention), rather then general anxiety treatment? If not, see needs to find an OCD expert! I honestly would consider inpatient treatment.
Stop trying to make things go back to normal, healing will be slow. She will start by stopping the smallest most insignificant compulsion, and work up. Her religious themes will probably be the last to be addressed.
Yes this. Even if he is ?on board, and contrite, it will take time to process and accept it.
You said you weren’t doing the things you enjoyed as a single person before you met him. Start on that. Learn to relive yourself independent from his presence.
How you feel about him has changed; before you didn’t have the same depth of feeling so it was not as scary. What happens next is key. You need to be clear to him that you’re experiencing doubts about how the threesome will change your relationship. You want the outcome to be positive, but fear it will not be. You should clarify that you want the outcome to be positive, but that in order for that to happen, you need to feel confidence that he and you will grow closer because of it. Honestly, counseling both now and after, to enhance communication between you, is probably the only way this threesome doesn’t end up doing exactly what you fear – ending your intimacy. Communicate more – often, quality, openness, and listening – to avoid negative outcomes. Not all relationships can handle even casual sexual “extras”. Most can’t. If you don’t enhance communication, yours won’t either.
…what?
Please stop faking.
It’s better to say, it’s just not happening tonight, than it is to fake. Nobody should ever fake. Ever.
She never got over the ex, and this is a silver medal marriage. I would seriously consider thinking about separation if the therapy doesn't work.
Even tolerating the friends behavior wouldn't sit well with me. I dear like a sailor but that's my boundary.
You have to decide whether it's a deal breaker for you
Put your fingers in your ears and say “la la la la I can’t hear any of this.” Seriously. Do not get involved.
You need to give up. He is not going to change. He is lucky, if it was me in your shoes, I would have called the police and called him the useless thief he is.
I hope you've changed your bank passwords, email passwords, literally any passwords. Message him if he sells anything from the home, you will charge him with theft. Its the next thing he will do, sell any jewellery or anything of value to pay for his addiction.
Stop enabling him. Stop making excuses. You need a lawyer to sort out the situation with the flat ownership. It might need to be sold and any profit split between you. Then you need to block him from your life and move on.
He will not change. He has blown through a truck ton of money. He will drag you down. It is time to call this done.
Do you honestly think a man would have any clue about your shampoo and soap requirements? My ex husband once picked a bottle of wine as a gift for someone and it was “weight watchers” he hadn’t read the label and didn’t drink and was utterly clueless. I don’t think it was a dig he probably listened to you saying about shampoo and thought “I’ll buy her some shampoo” he also wouldn’t have considered a salon event, why would he know your hair regime?
No, the loan and down payment are from me.
Thanks a lot 🙂 im greatfull for responses like this
OP, you are under no obligation to do anything you don't want to do. It is up to you. When you're a child, and you were when this all happened, they invalidated feelings, they pushed things, they made you feel empty and unable to go through the emotions of losing your mom, and then they tried replacing the important person you lost. As a child, going through that, is traumatizing. Entering into adulthood, that stuff stays with you. You need a therapist to talk to, for sure, and the one you have needs to be fired asap! They are not helping you and are invalidating you as you had been before when young. You don't need any form of invalidation now. I'm going to be truthful here and my opinion is that if you want to be peaceful, it won't happen until they realize what they have done. I don't think you are in a position to speak to them yet, but they seem to be forcing themselves. You can go a route where you say, get a protection order, but I would suggest going a more peaceful route when ready. They need to be told that what they did was wrong. And if you're not going to do that, that's fine. I am just giving an opinion. It's possible they don't see what they did. It's possible they don't know your feelings well. I'm not sure. What they did was wrong and it seems that honestly even though they did thay, they are trying their best to improve the relationship, even so much as moving that close. It is smothering but also people don't do that if they don't care. I could say a heart to heart is needed, but all in due time, if you accepted such. If not, you need to get security cameras, file a protective order, but I hope things get peaceful because you weren't even allowed to grieve properly.
Family therapy. Say the things you need to say to them in a safe space and see if they are ready to hear you finally.
He sounds like he's hitting rock bottom right now so this might be an excellent time for him to be evaluated. Whether he chooses to go to therapy or take meds will be the next crossroads that she'll have to navigate when she gets there.
Thank you for the response! I agree and will start doing this
And you only know about this groping incident because he was caught. How many other women has he done this or similar disgusting acts to without it being reported or without the police catching him? Men who assault women like this are rarely caught the first time (or so I’ve read).
I couldn't keep going with her. I'd be afraid she is poking holes in condoms or lie about taking birth control. You're already not having vaginal sex because it's probably in your head too. How can you be with someone who you can't trust and walks all over your boundaries.
Don't bother. You can do better.
BTW, he hasn't divorced his wife. That's why he's dragging his feet.
Well there are three truths yours, his and the actual truth. Counseling will give you both a third party and if he still refuses, you might just have to end things.
It doesn't matter. She still hit her. Alcohol isn't an excuse.
OP, update us please!! Definitely don’t let them spend time together like that, drag yourself into those plans even if you don’t like them, I’m sure you don’t like your bf spending quality time with another chick more than the actual activity?
It feels like this person is mocking Lil for stating that my bf actions can be seen as toxic. The problem isn’t the affection it’s the fact that he doesn’t respect no. Puppy eyes and moping is a form of guilt tripping. I don’t think my boyfriend is abusive at all he is a sweetheart but there is something to be said that I have to repeatedly ask him to respect a boundary.
Thats good advice thanks!
By and large lasting change is very difficult to do. No, you aren’t going to change him, and yes, you will be easting some of the best years of your life waiting for him to. At least, those are the odds.
His reaction afterwards might be even worse than his previous behaviour
This is likely the result of emotional abuse in my childhood. It is something I am working on and I have improved in this regard
Normal people take time to digest and process feelings after any incident. It's not a fault of yours it's just normal.
Jumping to conclusions and using instinctive reactions often lead to mischaracterization of your own feelings. If you didn't process your thoughts you might act defensive or angry when you wouldn't have done that after thinking about it.
You have to let your GF know that you just work differently to her, and that it's beneficial for her that you don't spew unfiltered emotion at her all the time.
Idk why this is being downvoted
Youre right on the money, my only mistake was that i treated her as a prize in my mind. Everything i made myself do was because i belived it would reward me with more time with her and her affection. Ive always had this issue where i cant bring myself to do anything for my own sake.
Honestly, I would leave that door closed. It's your big day and the focus should be on you and your fiance. It's a time to celebrate with those who truly love you, not those who betrayed you. Considering you are worried about her causing drama and making your big day all about her, trust your intuition on this leave her off the guest list.
Absolutely not ok.
My husband is the exact same, I literally don’t want to kiss of fuck because he smells musty and haven’t kissed in a long time it taste like cigarettes and broken teeth..