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I hope your wife is in therapy for her anxiety. Sounds like she has low confidence (needing to be “ready”) and wants an immaculate home for close family to come inside. I myself have anxiety and stress out about people coming to my house because it’s not always guest-ready, but I have worked through some of that in my own therapy.
Your mom is really nice to buy groceries for your kid and it seems that she’s usually respectful of the boundaries. If your wife doesn’t find a way to manage her anxiety, I think it will create a bad situation between her and your mom and you and your mom.
That’s why I suggest therapy as a long-term solution.
Either way, I would certainly treat my MIL better than that if she was delivering groceries to me and I do think that was pretty rude behavior.
You seen to tiptoe around your gf alot…
Does she usually react badly when you don't give her her way?