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Sophie, 28 y.o.
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Date: October 4, 2022
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7 is low, but I dont think it matters.
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No, no reason to stay in a one sided relationship.
You are a first gen immigrant. You are literally a bridge between two cultures.
You are just as Danish as you are English.
Your BF is telling you something very important here.
He doesn’t like 50% of you.
You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t like 100% of you.
I learned a hot lesson in my early years. Don’t change for love. Because love wouldn’t want you to change.
Real, lasting love lasts because they love all of you as you are.
Sometimes we need to change to grow, but that is when we are unhappy with ourselves. If you aren’t unhappy with your dual culture, then you shouldn’t change that.
I know it is very hot to hear, it is so easy to sit on this side of the computer and say “ leave this guy!” But as an outsider looking in, without the love hormones and the emotional manipulation, I can tell you that your BF is being racist and cruel.
For your happiness, you need to move on from someone who hates half of who you are.
Thank you for your response. No I don’t speak the language. I’m in Language classes though. Only been one week. I paid for these before I showed up (student visa) so I’m doing this now because it’s the only thing I can do at the moment.
I don’t think he will physically hurt me in anyway. He’s never shown violence that way. Just verbally an asshole. I don’t know what to do with the kindness he’s showing me now.
Yes he had signed a paper saying he was supporting me and was financially responsible for my accommodation and food. I’m also registered to his address with his government.
I didn’t know about these resources and will look into them.
A lot of ladies don't see an issue with this because they can easily sympathize with OP's girlfriend. They don't want to “waste time with someone who will never commit.” That's totally reasonable but because of this I feel like some of you aren't considering how this looks from a man's perspective.
At 2 months into a relationship it is impossible to truly love anyone. You have no clue who they really are. People will keep up appearances for years only to flip a switch and become a different person when they think it's safe to. She's not actually in love with him but some idea she has in her head of who he is. That's the best case scenario. Worst case is she is just in love with the things he can offer her. In either situation you could literally swap OP for any other guy with the same combination of traits and it might not matter to her. We want to be loved for everything we are and not just our house, our job, or our baby batter.
Even if we assume she has good intentions she is handling this all so poorly. Inviting herself to live in his house, a suspiciously timed pregnancy scare, setting a timeline for kids 2 months in, insinuating that he isn't responsible because he isn't sure about setting a deadline for kids 2 months into a relationship.
According to the post they talked about this on the first date so she should already know that OP wants marriage and kids, so it just seems very strange that she is going so heavy on all these major relationship milestones so early in the relationship. If they hadn't already talked about it on the first date we could write everything that happened off as her just trying to confirm that they want the same thing , but they did already discuss it so I don't know what her goal actually is by bringing all this up.
For real, that’s not just a red flag it’s a black one
1, Grow up 2, If she wants to do anything behind your back, she can – there are messages, they can speak to each other
If you act like an insecure teenage girl thats the least helpful.
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So background. We have been together for almost 7 years. At the start everything was pretty rocky (my fault) but the bedroom chemistry was off the charts.
Fast forward to now. She feels like we have hit the roommate stage. We have two kids together and our bedroom chemistry has plummeted. I cannot perform nearly as well as I used too and she has also gone down in participation in the bedroom.
We had a discussion about it after two months of literally zero contact. (Roughest two months of my life) She said that she is open to the idea of me having a one night stand to see if the issue really is me or if the issue is her.
I am by no means okay with this. Not by a F-ing mile. I would never be okay with someone touching her at all so I am for damn sure not about to go sleeping with some random hookup.
However she has informed me that we can either keep going with the roommate phase as she feels it until it goes away and we get better. Or I sleep with someone and we get the answer to the main problem quickly.
I have reluctantly come to Reddit for the assistance because I am just beyond words of confused and anxiety ridden.
They're not married
Tbh I would look him dead in the eye and tell him, “You're married. Act like it.”
He doesn't actually like you. He just wants to fuck you.
You've been dating this guy for 2 years, but 1 year ago you were posting about your 22 year old boyfriend. Which is it?