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HEY GUYS WELCOME… IM NEW SO I HOPE U LIKE TO PLAY WITH ME ….. LETS DO IT
Date: November 30, 2022
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It sounds like you have experienced some difficult and traumatic events in your childhood. It is natural to want to understand and make sense of these experiences, and to want to talk about them with others who may be able to provide insight and support.
It can be difficult to talk about difficult or traumatic experiences, especially with your parents who may have been involved in some way. It is important to approach these conversations with care and sensitivity, and to set boundaries for yourself to ensure that you are able to have these conversations in a safe and supportive environment.
If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, it may be helpful to talk to your parents about these memories and ask them for their perspective and any additional information they may have. It may also be helpful to talk to a therapist who can provide support and guidance as you process these experiences.
It is important to remember that you are not alone, and that there are people who can help you through this difficult time. It may take time and effort, but with the right support, you can work through these experiences and build a healthier and more fulfilling life for yourself.
I'm still not seeing how that makes you guilty. You didn't do anything to hurt him. Maybe you guys could both have communicated more effectively but I don't think it would change the outcome in the end. You just wanted different things. As your friends say, you weren't compatible. And for the record, I don't think it's an unreasonable preference to not want to be with someone who travels a lot. I wouldn't either. Raising kids on my own who hardly know their own dad because he's out of town four nights a week? No thanks.
As his first girlfriend as well, that could explain why he went so quickly from “you're the best thing that ever happened to me” to “you're dumped.” He has no frame of reference for what love feels like. This may be nude to hear, but he was most likely not as deeply in love with you as he thought he was.
Does she write those guys?
If not, then let me chime in with my perspective: way too many guys react badly when rejected. Pestering until you manage to get away is the harmless variant, it can get so much worse. Back when I was younger and frequently hit on (interestingly the most creepy ones stopped since I can’t be mistaken for 18 any more but that’s a topic for another day…) I used to give my Facebook to everyone who asked and didn’t go away after the first no. Why Facebook? Because I could just NOT accept their request and then also block them. Easy and most importantly safe
Tell your wife and yalk to your parents and tell them you are going to cut contact with them for a month because they do not respect you and tell them each time they do this you are going to cut all comunictations with them.
Look for some therapy to learn how to deal with the issues younhave because your parents bullying.
Sorry to hear all this, I honestly think that you need to think what makes you happy and what you want out of a relationship, once you figure that out, you can decide if it’s with him or not..
Uh huh.
She just stopped talking about him. Not too him. See you here next week when you catch them in bed.
You did the perfect things here. They can both rot and eat shit and die
I know it’s a shock to learn that you were in fact not the first. You two were kids back then. Kids make stupid decisions. Her error was keeping it up, probably because it’s nice thought… you married your first. Maybe it was her first real enjoyably experience, something that felt real.
Anyways…
Do you think this would result in a divorce?
Probably not, it’s unlikely.
Talk it out. And burn the book.
Dude, what are you overreacting for? Like sure, if I heard that about myself I wouldn't feel best about it at first, but after hearing my fiancée's side of it I'd probably find it fucking hilarious. Let it go, my guy.
You can’t fix it. If you could fix it, it would have been fixed long ago. You can’t force someone to be something they don’t want to be. He has proven that he’s unwilling to be a functional, contributing partner.
He has made it abundantly clear that being lazy or far more important to him than helping you or caring for you.
God can you imagine if you two had kids? You would effectively be a single parent and have to clean up after your manchild husband as well. How can you even see a future with a person who’s failing at basic life?
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PLEASE DO THIS, OP.
I’m sure I can speak on behalf of at least most of us here when I say, please dear god do this and post an update. Please??! ?
There seems like there is more to this story. He obviously thinks you cheated. Was there any situations that might have been misconstrued? New work friends, an ex or a friend that has a bad reputation that you're spending time with that is triggering his suspicions? Maybe you can take a look back at any behavior you may have done that might make him feel like something is going on.
The very least he could have done is spoken to you about anything that's troubling him, instead of him ghosting you. My advice is to let it go. If he doesn't want to be with you or give you any kind of closure, just move on.
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I cant help but feel you are being gaslit. I think he's just not willing to leave home and make a life for himself so he's making an issue about something he knows you have trouble doing – going back to school. He's a 42 year old man who still lives with his folks, and yet he makes you feel like you're not worthy to be his equal? Thats bs
And what exactly is his compromise? He didn't even offer one.
So many people don't find their passions or their career goals until later on in life. People become authors at 40 or 80. Some people have no career goal and are just content to work any job that pays the bills. Both are normal and perfectly fine. She seems happy as she is?
A broken relationship is a broken relationship and that trust can NEVER be recovered. Even if you two went to date once more he would be so so aware of every single move you do, who are you friends with, etc
Do you really want to go down the toxic spiral of “I want you but only sometimes”? Isnt the kind of unhappy relationship you guys have what made you cheat in the first place?
As some other people said, it is just toxic and he may also find it justifiable to cheat back because “if you can justify this because you are unhappy then so can I”
Just dont, pack your things up and get out by your own volition so both of you can be freed from this relationship, one of you two need to take the first step, because you are conscious of whats going on, imo, you shouldnt wait for him to take it or he will take it when someone else comes by even after you reconcile (cheating I mean)
Hello, thank you. I’ve already contacted two and they were honest about what i did wrong. Even so, they still find this discord move petty and are willing to hang out with me still.
Ew.
I dont ever imagine my exes. They are my exes for a reason.
I dont even know why she would tell you that though. Why not just say no and be done with it.
What a cruel and horrible thing to say.
Im really sorry dude. But if it helps. Theres plenty of women out there who arent this much of an asshole.
However there is a kid involved and im guessing you dont want to dump her. So tell her how she has made you feel and go from there. If she shows no remorse. Im not sure why uou would want to stay with her.
At the same time. She was honest. Just such a weird thing to be honest about. It hurts no one to lie and say no.
Keep it professional. Firm boundaries. Never get your honey where you get your money and never interfere in a marriage.
Thank you for pointing this out. I have issues with hypoglycemia and I am literally irrational during those episodes. I can even see myself acting in this horrible way and can't stop. I work with my doctor to avoid this- and my husband will literally sit me down with a snack to get my sugar up if he sees me having an episode. Thankfully they are now few and far between.
Break up.
People have given her an “imperialistic” view because her BF has engaged in imperialistic, exploitative behavior.
I know it sounds cliche to say because yes their relationship was already a walking red flag. However, who he told does not matter. That breach of trust is enough. If you are going to leave just start packing. If you aren't, wake him up now. Screw his sleep he does not deserve to sleep comfortably after this.
Also she has to go period. It isnt about their past. It's about the fact he obviously can't be trusted to prioritize you over her. Period, end of the conversation. You are a couple and your most private moments should be be between you and him. No one else. He prioritized his relationship (even if it is just a friendship) with her over your safety and security. She can never be his friend again. That is if you stay, which frankly you are safer just leaving.
Don’t stress out, this can cause a flare up. I’ll see myself out.
Not entirely accurate. I was only really interested when her breasts grew a lot in size.
Thank you.
I think the other commenter is right. I just wanted to add that you not seeing her as Muslim is really not good. You guys are from different cultures; the way to overcome that is not to blatantly dismiss hers so she seems more familiar to you.
If she says she's Muslim then she is. It's more than religion as you can see it's also something cultural that ties her family together and she will always feel some pull to uphold her culture even if you might not understand. This issue that you are facing right now is very cultural, not personal. Her cousin also does the same with her bf. Trying to understand more her culture and how it affects her would be positive for helping you understand your gf better as well as what next steps she is comfortable with taking given she wants to respect her parents and culture.
It is nude to struggle though sometimes because I'm the type of person who wants to know what people think of me all the time. Which I'm working on in therapy. I just keep reminding myself that what we agreed to is fine for now, I don't want to get distracted in my goals for my future, like buying a house, etc. So I'm not wanting a full blown relationship right now. But your story gives me hope! Thank you!
You have a lot of pent up anger considering it’s not your situation, wonder what’s wrong with your home life
especially this young girl
Well duh, that's why I said someone in her situation who's dating someone nice. I'm talking about people besides OP.
Really appreciate that unfortunately i can't think of just myself I have to think of my son too. He is my priority, no doubt in my mind that thing will be over but its how I keep my son in the process.
As much as I'd love to go in and shout swear call her all the names under the sun if this end in a terrible way my fear is I don't have a support network that will allow me to keep my son.
Thanks for the support!
Divorce him and tell him you set him free. Then you can tell him to enjoy his freedom. But I have to wonder if husband has been cheating.
He’s gone a bit mad
Just go to the shower. Invited or not.
Learn to communicate assertively rather than aggressively- it will change your life and your marriage. ‘A woman in your own right’ is a great book, it will give you the skills to calmly advocate for yourself and talk to your husband without being overwhelmed or out your depth. A marriage is a think to be cared for, if you can both speak calming and convey your wants, needs and feeling in a healthy way it will change the whole mood of your home and your marriage. It’s a skill you can learn in a weekend.
I agree with you. If he truly didn't mean for it to happen…unless it's causing him mental distress (the sexual assault) bury it down and move on.
Move out now
He wants it both ways. You have to decide if you can live with his behavior because it is t going to change. What you see is what you get -he hasn’t moved in from his ex
Because a lot of straight men are going to feel off about having had sex with a biological male, that's not something you should just spring on people after the fact. People's sexualities are really important and core to their identity, and I would feel very violated if I found out I had sex with a biological male and they didn't tell me. I don't care if someone identifies as trans and I'm supportive of that, but I don't want to have sex with or date a trans person and I think 90% of straight people feel the same way.
Air purifier for the room. It takes out smells and dust particles. Some have different filters to choose from as well!
And when you wear it, half the other women who see you will be thinking, “Damn! I wish I had the confidence to rock that!”
10 days ago you posted your bf was taking another woman on dates? Is he getting the money from you to do so? Why are you with someone who treats you this way?
I’m not sure who is most confused by your posts: you or me? Either way, something isn’t adding up.
If your posts are true, please get some self respect and stop allowing this loser to use you as his doormat!!
Why do you want to be married?
Leave him alone. Running is not his type of fun.
Thank you, this is so much better than what I am able to convey. X
Your gf asked you out, fucked your best-friend who at the time didn't know that she asked you out, and then went back to you like nothing happened. That's fucked up to say the least. She's probably destroyed your friendship, your trust in her, and your mental health since it's eating you from within since the past year.
Bin this psychopath and find someone better, you'll never get over it and it's only ending with you either becoming clinically depressed, you ending up hating her or hating your best-friend.
So indpendence is good, and also your parents were neglectful of your safety and you're managing because you were neglected to turn your bf's good acts (by your own account) into a defecit of his? C'mon.
Exactly – now you've gotten yourself a “reputation” at work that won't easily go away. This could affect your career path – very bad decision.
move on.
Yeah you intentionally didn't tell him bc you're worried about his perception. Why do you want to be with someone who would shame you for something he's done himself?? Do better for yourself.
She’s losing it because once you lose the weight, she thinks she has nothing over on you anymore. I’m amazed you kept the relationship after she’s tried seducing multiple of your boyfriends- your sister’s behavior is so predatory and creepy and malicious that your best bet is to withdraw as far as humanly possible from a personal relationship.
I’d personally send her the meme of Bert from Sesame Street leaning against a wall with sunglasses on with the text “that’s super fuxkin’ neat-o” every time she sent me one of those stupid texts, but that’s just me.
Spitting on someone is fucking disgusting, doesn't matter how shitty someone is there is no justifying doing that.
Breaking up is the only option. You are both clearly unable to focus on your mental health while trying to maintain a healthy relationship.
Break up, get a better therapist, and stay single until you have your shit together. Because the second you resort to spitting at your partner, there's no bouncing back from that.
She checked out cause she deserves better you colossal douche bag.
The phrase 'using me like a flesh light' gives me a horrible visceral feeling that's way too familiar. I've been there, I'm so glad you aren't with that other guy anymore and I hope your husband makes you feel cherished and safe.
why not buy a car?
He thinks by being honest about it you’ll think he’s grown. You need to get out of the same house. It’s giving him false hope and keeping you in potential danger. Be safe
I'm so glad you got your little dude back. Treasure him, cats are so precious. Be safe, and never look back at that awful man and what he did.
This is so spot on.
The best and most honorable thing is to be honest to yourself and tell him that you are very confused, and not in a good head space to keep seeing him. Whether you get into your emerging discoveries about your own sexuality- not sure that needs to be shared.
You really aren't sparing him hurt, you are delaying it and possibly compounding it.
Does he know you recorded your argument to post live? That feels very messed up to me.
I agree with the other comments in this thread, though. You are trying to support him in the way you want to support him rather than supporting him in the way he wants to be supported.
He cheated, and is covering his tracks
I just think it’s different when you’re older and look back onto mistakes from when you were super young. They had also just started dating as he said. Not every start of a relationship is black and white, especially when they were eighteen and it was 20 years ago.
As a therapist, I can tell you it depends on your specific field, and location. Like I said in another comment, the state licensing board would be able to help you determine that.
As a therapist, I can tell you it depends on your specific field, and location. Like I said in another comment, the state licensing board would be able to help you determine that.
He a caveman or what?
He needs to sort his priorities and energy on something else rather than giving you negative vibes.
Or you change your relationship priority.
…you 'managed to get ahold of yourself'? That's really concerning.
Attention seeking is not a symptom of depression. It is an unhealthy response to depression.
You know what to do. You’re 23, you will find another one that is a way better partner than this 31yo child.
Try coming at it from an “I saw this live and wanted to try it with you” angle. Then direct and school him as you start to kiss. When you're pleased with his ability to do it how you like, reinforce and praise the learned skill, i.e., “That's so very hot. You're such a good kisser.” or “I love it when you kiss me like that.”
I know “honesty's the best policy” but you don't want to bruise his ego and make him feel self-conscious every time he leans in for a kiss from now on. I think as far as little white lies go, this one's okay.
Yeah I feel like part of me is just letting him back because I still want him and wish things could be as good as they were in the beginning but never again. This game is getting so old and he’s never going to stop but I can.
I think in these situations the best solution is to just “rip off the bandaid” and tell her how you feel. Being direct and saying you like her and see her as more than just friends takes the guesswork out of it. Based on experience, being in that weird gray area where you don't know where you stand is so draining.
I think in these situations the best solution is to just “rip off the bandaid” and tell her how you feel. Being direct and saying you like her and see her as more than just friends takes the guesswork out of it. Based on experience, being in that weird gray area where you don't know where you stand is so draining.
Some very fundamentalist Christians believe this kind of thing, but it’s definitely not the norm. OP is very young…and she’s not even close to being too old to have healthy babies…by a decade. This is clearly abusive and I hope OP can get away from this guy. Who’d want to have a child with someone who thinks this way?
You don't bring up the topic of circumcision. How insane someone would have to be to ask someone to cut off a part of their body for cosmetic purposes.
Hygiene is one thing and I agree it needs to be a conversation here, but the foreskin serves a purpose and makes sex more pleasurable for men. Maybe do some anatomy research instead of asking reddit how to approach your bf about getting cut.
?what did you expect to happen when you get with someone that has history like that. Pull your head out if your butt, and wake up from being so clueless.
How are you still not seeing this? He doesn’t want to end things. He wants them to stay exactly as they are now, until you get to be too much. Then he’ll find another 21 year old.