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You seem like a very caring a mature boyfriend. I dont have any advice for you apart from what everyone else is saying. But you seem like a sweet guy and based on your kind and respectful responses her I think you’ll be able to approach this without hurting her feelings too much.
I'm sure it did break your heart. She may eventually get over her ex. Unfortunately, and sadly, it's pretty clear that you won't be the guy to get her there. You're not going to get any hotter than you were the day you met her. She has opted to settle for you, probably because she has given up on ever finding everything she wants in one man again. But it isn't good to be settled for. You should call it a day.
Don't reach out again. When you left him and he did all that stuff, thats who he really is now. Do you think someone who loved you as much as he said would go out of his way to berate you, and your family like he has? No. You got out in time, and he's realizing how he's the one who messed up. Give it time and you'll get over him too.