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Date: October 14, 2022
Of course it does. When someone is being given advice and instead of everyone dissecting their behavior, they look at the other party who was on the receiving end of the physical abuse, there is no growth. What sense does it make to give dumb advice? You have to point out the hypocrisy in order for people to grow and learn from their actions. If a man came home to his nagging wife, does that give him free reign to hit her like OP did her boyfriend? Would you all still be championing him if the genders were changed? Didn't think so. It's really simple, do onto others as you would have them do to you. You can't be a component of equality and change if you just want it for one side.
Sounds like something serious happened in his life that has really drawn out his insecurities. This is a point where you can get to know him better and get closer. However this could also be a point where you can walk away.
Either way, it's your choice if you'd like to intensify the relationship.
Therapy. You’re in the middle of this problem for years and need some professional outside perspective and support.
If you can’t do therapy I would recommend (this will sound out there), going alone to a meditation retreat for a week or more. To just have space to think about your life outside of your normal living routine.
You just tell her.
You're in love with her, so your friendship has already changed. Best to just find out. Good luck!
Are you purposely looking for ways to waste your time instead of moving on with your own life?
If you “lean” left and he “leans” right then common ground can be found on issues but if you're ultra left and ultra right y'all will never agree on almost anything.