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riding @goal [280 tokens remaining]
Date: October 27, 2022
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Sounds like whatever you “agree upon” was only agreed to so you’d leave him alone about the issue. Now he is avoiding you because he didn’t actually agree
Would you rather cry about holes in your apartment walls? Your grandmother’s broken vase? The bottle that flies by your head and shatters on the wall behind you? Being happy in relationship doesn’t require pondering over big issues like this.
It’s gonna make things harder for you. It sounds like she’s already working on moving on and while I think hooking up would erase all the progress you’ve made while moving on, it likely wouldn’t do the same for her. I think she’s just lonely and horny and not actually missing you.
You could ask your gyno or primary physician to run a hormone panel. Make sure you get: estrogen, LH (lutenizing hormone), FSH (follicle stimulating hormone), total testosterone, and free testosterone. It should be a no brainer for your doctor to order those tests if you request “Sex hormone blood work” but perhaps clarifying could be beneficial
Best of luck!
Yeah it feels like there’s a lot of stigma here for being HIV+ that goes beyond what the reality actually is
I wish I could be there for her and that’s why I’m feeling hurt. I wish she came to me so I could give her big sisterly advice. From the way my bf said it I think this happened a while ago. So I can’t really bring it up with her. It’s her place to tell me not anyone else so I’m not gonna confront her or anything
So as I see it he gets a(n almost) free apartment and free childcare, isn’t this a great deal for him? Of course he starts crying, to manipulate you to never leave him or take any responsibility for his bullshit. Why do you want to be with someone who at 34 has such shitty planning in life that he can’t afford his own place and then makes children on top of it? Or why would you want to be with someone who can’t even take responsibility for the fact he knocked her up and now has children? Is that really someone you want to be with? If the woman “manipulated” him to have kids, she wouldn’t move away from him not wanting anything to do with him at first. And why do all the 30+ people who date teenagers or young adults ALWAYS have a “manipulative ex” and a sob story? Because young people believe that bullshit and feel bad for this idiot. You said you just came out of an abusive relationship and were in a very vulnerable position with your health – that’s how they get you. Sadly you are too used to abusive and unhealthy relationship dynamics that you can’t see when you’re being manipulated. Did he move really fast, give you gifts and act perfect and amazing at first? That’s how they get you, that’s called lovebombing, and healthy relationships don’t start fast and irrationally and don’t burn with a passion like that, they’re slow and stable and respectful. He doesn’t care that you’re struggling because of his bullshit decisions, please start thinking about what you want and don’t feel guilt tripped because of his crocodile tears. He sounds pathetic, I’m sorry.
OP I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It really sucks.
What struck me most from what you shared was her reaction to your finding out “are you surprised?” Wow.
I haven’t been in your shoes (no one has) so take this as you will:
You deserve happiness.
You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and your feelings.
Your daughter deserves to grow up around parents who put her needs ahead of their negative feelings for each other. Yes, she’s only one year old but even babies can sense and react to a negative environment.
I can only attempt to imagine how you feel and what you’re going through and only hope that you find a way through this and are able to maintain a lovely relationship with your daughter—and eventually find someone who appreciates what you have to give.
Some people can be immature for their age. And then they can be taken advantage off. But that up to OP to think about. We don't know her.
If they were having an affair wouldn't she agree to him driving her home so they could snatch some time together?
I got their obvious point. You missed my point.
Are you sure? Is the truth better than just leave him with another reason?
Btw it does matter to me whether I have to shstter his heart and maybe permanent damage or not. I'm already burning with guilt and will forever feel like shit for this. I get what I deserve.
Classic biphobia.
DO NOT GO BACK..
You will be trapped for ever. Stay away from him and do not communicate
Seems like it's not you who wrote that post. Your depression did
I am severely disabled myself, and my partner is a huge help for me to live : I couldn't study as much as I would have wanted to and being in a relationship with me imply dealing with a lot of my daily struggles to get through basic tasks
However, we talked about it because I was also only seeing the negative aspects I was bringing in our relationship at first. And it turned out that my partner had a ton of positive things to say about what I brought to our relationship, and didn't mind what I was seeing as major negative aspects.
You should talk to her about that and ask her what are the things that she value in your relationship that comes from you : It was a game changer to me
Also, you need professional help for your depression. It's a deadly disease and it's not one you can cure yourself in most cases.
OP literally strangled her, I don't believe him with how he's trying to justify himself doing that. He's the abuser.
Report yourself.
If you don’t dump him for this dump him for being too old for you. Seems like pretty standard shitty behavior for a 30 year old dating a 20 year old…
That tracks….
And ok that is a start! That shows some reflection and awareness.
Sorry this isn’t helpful but I’m afraid you not only ate but devoured with that comeback?
Idk but when I was a kid I didn’t like my moms boyfriend walking around shirtless and in his boxers . Always seemed more like a power trip to me to insinuate that it’s his house
Well, reddit can't help you with how you feel about it.
There will be people who will tell you to say no. And there will be people who tell you to say yes.
You have to go figure that out before you can get any real advice.
From my experience, someone like that won’t just abandon you for a major illness. He won’t take care of you when you have a cold. He’ll go out of town when you’re feeling depressed. He’ll cheat on you because you can’t have sex for 6 weeks after giving birth. People don’t just change who they are because of 1 diagnosis. They lack the ability to care for and have have empathy for others.
You said they’re bad at handling money, you give them money regularly… I don’t know why you expected anything different.
The only part of the OP story that keeps running around in my mind is that while yes calling someone something, is not really acceptable in this case or most cases, I have to wonder given their history together, if they talked a lot about kids and OP's reaction was based off of expectations that sounded like they were set (but we all know that stuff can change).
Adding alcohol to the mix is almost always going to go the wrong way in these cases imo. I can't tell you how many times I see what looks like great posts on this sub, that ends up being something alcohol fueled which generally pits me more against one party.
He should especially not be profiting if she is contributing to their home business of renting it as an Airbnb. They’re a literal house keepers, and in managers and shit like that whose actual job that is and she supposed to pay for the privilege? Whatever you think about living inheritances or gifts from parents or whatever the fuck That has nothing to do with how weird and messed up this is. Also OP if you believe in traditional gender roles, how are you OK with this? You’re expected to do all the work of a businesswoman, contribute money, and then also do the work of a traditional wife? I don’t think you care about traditional gender roles I think you just have no fucking self-esteem.
Dump his ass to the curb!!!
He has a heart of gold
Depends on the stress causer. If it’s something I can get perspective on it’s about 2 hours. When it was going to see my ex-in-laws – even when I k we I needed to relax it took several days.
It's up to you how you handle it, but I do think you know everything you need to know.
It's weird.
Sounds like he's treating you like a mooch.
Missing from your post are any examples where you cover him or treat him to anything. Even if it's costing him $0.50 here and $2 there, this only shakes out to no big deal if there's reciprocity.
Sounds like a horrible relationship, I’d move on.
Where did it come from, who gave het the name?
All she’s doing is preserving her fathers legacy