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Call him out (make sure you bring up the wedding invitation), ask him directly whats his malfunction and then cut ties with him
It technically isn't cheating but a breach of agreement. When you're separated, you don't get to still pretend to be together for the sake of making sure no one else has sex with your future ex. So is it cheating, no it technically isn't but is she a two faced liar and went against your agreement, absolutely
He’s still working out with his side hustle. Nice
I’m the first person to come here and emphasize that independence is important and healthy in a relationship.
But that’s not the problem here. You turned her down to meet up because you wanted to “be productive.” You then decided to go out with other people. She has every right to be pissed off about that.
Your title question isn’t fair. Rephrase it honestly.
you can literally say hi to any guy in public and theyll take you home. youre way more likely to get mediocre sex than murdered
You need a supportive man who will put you ahead of himself and work with you.
Who said anything about addiction?
At this point, with everything Kanye has done, I don't trust the people that gas him up still. What he's doing and what he's representing as a public figure and someone who has a mental disorder, he's setting a horrendous example for people and it's dangerous.
I'd honestly question your boyfriend on if he has the same beliefs, especially since you said in another comment that you're Jewish.
If he was staying over often enough to drive up expenses he should have been paying rent. That’s just common decency.
I can relate but i think if you give her time she will be able to do it. Well only if you see she is really trying to improve, if she just give up i would have another thought.
Mine also has problems with it but she improves every day and i think in a future she won't have any problem at all and both will be able to enjoy it. Other parts of sex life are fine so there's no rush rn.
Walk away. You’ll always be the third wheel for whatever codependent shit these two have got going on.
Until she tells him to fuck off and realises this is not a “friendship” it won’t work with anyone.
My dad once admonished me to “never pork the payroll”
Why are you together?
Seems like she might have something to hide…..
She was 14 and she didn’t know any better. Who degrades a person for what they have done when they were literally a child.
Knock her up dude. Mine can't have babies. You're lucky you fool
I just can’t help but think.. it takes just a few seconds to text someone.
I felt this. I always sent a good morning text to my ex, unless I was late for work. And a good night text unless I fell asleep on the couch. ?
It's the little things that show your partner that you care and are thinking about them. Some will disagree and say it's unnecessary but that's always been an important part of my romantic relationships.??♂️
Okay?
Dude, remind youeself you have value. This young woman is not the end all be all, however lovely she is. Good that you want to change and be better, but do it for you. Like I said it sounds like she already checked out and there is nothing you can do about it I am sorry. I also said no one knows what happens down the road, but let her go and be awesome going forward.
It is your body. Not his. And its not like you dont shower or neglect your hygene in any way. Maybe tell him you also have a preference and that he should shave his whole body every day and see how he feels about the “disrespect” when he refuses to.
Ah sorry, it was about making sure I was not a gold digger. That was kinda insulting, because I’m paying for my food and stuff with my own money. They do some financing stuff, I don’t get it and I don’t think that they are very good at their job tbh
Since when is bringing some friend of opposite sex at your room that too at night okay ? Let me guess, you’re from Europe or America
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What makes you think it’s just me that wants to FaceTime did u not read what I just said
Fuck his parents, who cares? Don’t cook for this shmuck. Cancel dinner, get your sleep and look for your own apartment to move into asap. Because this guy is a jerk.
It's possible.
I mean, it wasn't purposefully. When her Ex, she was unable to have children, he was infertile and she was told my doctors, she couldn't have kids, she tried IVF to no avail.
Obviously we were using protection, but it's never 100% and she ended up falling pregnant, doctors don't know how, she just did. so after 7 years of being unable to have children, something changed in her body and she was able to. (:
Don’t let him get to you. Does he know its the side effect of the meds. He’s a real AH if he does.
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I didn't say he sounds depressed or anxious, I said he sounds psychotic. He's ranting about how your brother is an evil person who deserves to die, but can't describe a single bad thing that your brother has done.
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He is currently putting his DESIRE over your CONSENT. He can't love you that much if his kink is more important than your autonomy in the relationship.
If you ever say yes to this you have been coerced. The only way you could have agreed without coercion was answering yes the first time he asked.
He does not value you or love you the way you love him. If he did, he would never ask this after the first discussion.
You may love him, but you must always love yourself more.
Tell him no. Tell him it will always be no. If he wants to have sex with other people, he needs to do it as a single man. If he truly loves you, he will agree, and drop it.
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admittedly when i made this post i was angry and upset, since i’ve had time to calm down and see things rationally, i realise it’s not my stepsons fault at all. he’s a child unfortunately caught up in all of this. it’s not fair on him and of course i’ll have him over tomorrow and join in the activities we had planned together. as far as i’m aware, none of the children will know anything has happened between us. i absolutely love him and he’s part of our family, i view him as my eldest son, but i think im going to tell my boyfriend to go and collect him tomorrow so i can avoid seeing his mom
absolutely this! he was deliberately trying to make you snap, you tried to remove yourself, and he followed you to keep doing it. this is emotional and physical abuse on his part(physical was him deliberately causing bodily distress, emotional was using your reasonable reaction to make himself the victim), and you reacted to his deliberate provocation. if you want to make an effort to avoid hitting in the future, you could mentally rehearse leaving the situation(like you already tried to do), or maybe yelling “leave me alone!” as loud as you can over and over until he does.
You should have her read “The Gift of Fear”. This is not ok, and it’s also a psychological disorder…IMHO but neither should you be confronting him. Blocking and ignoring him is the best way to go. Restraining order if necessary but there should be no communication with this guy.
Yeah Sparky, learn how not to get caught.
Did you even want your kid, and if not, did your wife know?
Do you hear yourself? Your bf just put you in a time out like you're a fucking toddler because you dared to challenge him in an argument that he started and immediately blamed on you.
If you don't want this to be your life, leave now. He is not interested in seeing your side, so convincing him isn't going to happen.
Yes that's my proper intention now. If the counselor's slap on the wrist to her is enough to make her realize she has to back off, I'm happy. If it isn't, I'll have the counselor's signed report to make a stronger case against her in a 2nd incident.
Did he say anything when you gave him the gifts? I can't imagine receiving gifts from someone knowing I didn't get them anything and not at least being apologetic.
Okay thank you so much I’ve been really struggling with letting go and leaving her alone I’ll see if learning more can help
You aren't the first or last girl to act like that though. If money makes up for the looks for you then sure go ahead.
Especially if you want to hold a different convo than the one the group is having? Or are you supposed to derail group convos to just talk to one person??
Talk to your girlfriend and have an open and honest conversation about your concerns. Trust your instincts, but try not to jump to conclusions and give your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. Consider the evidence and think about whether there are other signs that suggest she may be cheating. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, or a therapist if needed.
It's important to approach the situation with an open mind and try to communicate openly with your girlfriend. If you have concerns about the relationship, it's important to address them and work together to find a resolution.
I've also experienced similar things. Being compared to other women can mess with your head. I also think something may have happened in her past to cause this.
Wow all of this is nonsense. I’m so glad you stepped away from those friends. You’re 100% not an asshole for deciding not to bathe with someone. You don’t have to bathe with anyone you don’t want to – I can’t even believe I had to type that sentence. The whole thing is bonkers, and your ex friends need to pull their heads out of their asses and get some fresh perspective.
Hahaha ikr…. I was waiting for the father and nothing happened
I was reading this with my jaw on the fucking table, someone wanting to chop bits of their penis off as an adult for no reason – Americans are the strangest people on this planet
nope. time for some accountability. she cheated. lied, made fun of him behind his back, kept lying, manipulated him, gaslighted him.
for all intents and purposes she abused that man.
Don’t double text in general, but if you feel secure enough, especially if adding information, do it once.
At the end of the day, if him watching porn upsets you, then he should respect that. Do with that what you will.
I’ve made it very clear to him how and why it effects me especially since I look nothing like those women.
This mentality is not a healthy one, and it is a totally unrealistic mindset to have. You can be sexually attracted to one “genre” so to speak, but it doesn't mean he finds you personally any less attractive. His tastes are not a reflection on you, or how he feels about you. So you insecurity on that part is something that you do need to work on.
Amnesia! Of course
Right the conversation needs to be more about each others needs not so much just about a threesome. I think there is too much riding on this threesome anyways personally.
Just reread your comment. I totally misread it the first time. I'm very sorry.
Because as men we have this sense of internal animal pride when we have conquered more women than men have conquered our women. It's an animal thing.
But I've got good news for you: either you will stop caring eventually, or you two will progress sexually and you'll start wanting to hear about her history. “No I won't! Gross!” you say, and to that I tell you: you have not advanced very far yet sexually in life.
So…give it time. One way or another this will no longer be an issue about 1-2 years from now. Trust me.
No STDs, no pregnancy, obviously, but also no gaslighting, no bullshit, no pushing for a bang maid or mommy. Making it crystal clear, where it applies, that there is no happy ever after with you, the older person. Generally, doing right by someone who has less money, savvy, and life experience than you.
Yeah, everyone has agency, but relationships with age gaps, especially those where the older person has already reached a significant life milestone (ie finished HS, finished college, has a secure career(-track job), lives alone, owns property), have an inherent power differential in favor of the person with more life experience. The campsite rule, as I understand it, aims to make sure that no harm is done to the person whose first rodeo it is.
In turn, the younger person is obligated to be kind about a relationship with an older person in which no harm was done to them.
TL;DR: if you get into a relationship with anyone, you are mostly obligated to do right by them. How you do that is what differs based on the relationship.
She's self absorbed. Find someone else.
If you can't get them to give you a lock, I would go ahead and purchase some door stoppers. Amazon has some, including ones that have sound for an alarm if anyone tries to enter while you are sleeping. I saw one for like $7 (USD). I just searched on amazon for “door stopper alarm”. Stay safe!
Why do you love this man? He is not a good partner at all. Dude is a walking red flag.
The man claims that there are problems in the relationship but yet won't tell you what they are, that's a huge red flag.
Communication is a big part of a relationship and if he doesn't learn how to communicate with you and be verbal, then you need to start looking for another man.
Oh and it's really irresponsible for this man to leave the birth control method.
How much of a dumbass must this man be that he can't even go to the liquor store and pick up a $3 to $5 pack of condoms?
I personally don't believe in IUD's as that coil can get stuck up in your hoohah but get on some form of birth control, if you continue to stay with this man.
The pullout method is risky…very risky. You are asking for potential trouble by doing that.
Hun, do yourself a favor and leave this man.
Your man seems like the type that is going to deny your kid when you do get pregnant, knowing full well that you only been with him.
Bumble has a BFF feature to cater to people looking for friends. Although, it sounds like he’s just making excuses. If she saw his profile, it likely showed up for her as a potential match/date/someone near her looking for a partner. Even then, if he had so little trust in his family that he felt the need to make a profile to stalk them on there and see if they were telling him the truth, that’s a whole other can of worms. It would also make zero sense to have never mentioned it to you. It also doesn’t make sense for him to fill out all his own info, use his own photos, and location if that were the honest truth. If he has a profile, that’s already a huge breach of trust, and it’s highly likely that he has cheated. Tbh even having a profile is toying with the idea of cheating, and it’s keeping his options open, and makes him look available outside of the home. Also, the app can be on his phone but hidden where you can’t see it. If he actually installed it just to search for them, it would be weird for him to not also delete his profile which they could end up stumbling across too. It’s very obvious that he’s lying to you at this point.
She is projecting, maybe she wants to cheat again
I hope she says we're done and then gets her stuff back and blocks him. No anytime else, he doesn't deserve to see her be sad. As far as he knows she'd moved on immediately
And usually it's when you stop looking someone pops into your life. If you take the time to be cool with yourself ( and if you aren't so the work so that you are) women see that confidence and are attracted to it. It has happened time and time again to make and female friends of mine. And if it doesn't work that way, you've done the work in order to be happy with yourself.
I would say that refusing to move in with someone unless they buy you an expensive engagement ring and propose to you would definitely qualify as pressuring someone.
I couldn't imagine going through all this bullshit for someone I talked to twice a year. There has to be a reason she is keeping him at arms length. I would squash it. My best friend is a married girl. I have no physical attraction to her, her husband lets us go out for drinks, spend time alone, we could do anything and he wouldn't mind. I know my situation isn't the norm but men and women can just be friends but they already slept together….. It's tough to forget that. The next time they fuck it will be easier bc they already did it… So what's the matter with it?
Well, the thing that took me by surprise was more that your original post didn’t include the issues that seemed more problematic. I mean knowing what else is going on, communication is the least of your issues with the guy. Honestly, I’m surprised you kept trying as much as you did, considering everything else that happened.
He does this once in a relatively new relationship and there is nowhere else to go from there. These are endgame moves.
My son did a bachelor/master degree program for mechanical engineering, and it took him 5 years.
I think that psychologist have a license that would be registered. Just look up your states (if you're in the U.S.) licensing,,/trades registry.
That is simply not true at all. Narcissistic personality disorder, by definition, is often found by people seeking this answer.
I don’t want to keep doing this forever.
Then stop. You’ve tried to discuss it and that seems to have not worked. You’re both very young and can move on fairly easily. You’re not sexually compatible and you can’t make that change. I know Reddit always jumps to break-up, but I think when the affected people are so young and new to adult dating, cutting your loses early is better than taking away from what more you could experience at that age.
It’s completely ok for you to want a relationship with more sex and likewise it’s okay for her to not want it as much in a relationship. Unfortunately that means that you’re probably better off finding more compatible partners.
I’m sorry you feel that way, man. You need to take time to heal and be ready to move on and when the time comes make sure that is known initially that this is what you want before getting so invested. Don’t let this break your spirit.
Holy shit.
I know at least 3 women who have gotten pregnant on IUD’s… so my advice would be to wear a condom.
Troll better. If this is real, you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship let alone married.
so now he doesn’t allow me to go out with my friends
WRONG! YOU are the one allowing him to control your behavior. If you don't like it, tell him he isn't the boss of you and that you will do exactly what you want, when you want, and with whom you want.
If you don't, he will assume he can control you, and next week he will be telling you what you can or can not wear or eat.
Good luck with him. He sounds like a real great guy. /s
Yeah it is pretty hypocritical, you’re right.
Lol “argumentative and masculine” what does that even mean?
So many of these comments are total BS and completely ignore the fact that OP mentioned that when she looks through her bfs phone, she finds things that hurt her, and won't bring it up because OP feels she deserves it. WHAT? No. No. No. First of all, you made a TINY mistake, one that shouldn't even result in you being made out to be the bad guy. You didn't tell men who hit on you to fck off. That's it. So many women go along with, try to ignore, and avoid confrontation with men who hit on them and it's 100% survival instinct. You are not a bad person for avoiding confrontation with men in your dms. Holy SHT he sounds manipulative and extremely insecure. If you don't want someone going thru your phone they need to respect your boundaries NO MATTER WHAT! I don't care if you were even “flirting” back. You can feel like you made a mistake and feel guilty for hurting his feelings and even say you broke one of the terms of your relationship and need to repent for it, but that in no way, shape, or form translates to you must subject yourself to abusive manipulative toxic behaviors and repeated violation of your boundaries for the rest of your relationship….. the fact that you find things on his phone that are similar to what you felt you did one time and have to repent forever for makes this 1000% worse and so obvious he's using what he “caught” you in as an excuse to control you, when I guarantee he's always been doing the same behind your back, probably why he feels so guilty he tries to find you doing it, and probably why he checked your phone the very first time to catch you in the one time you “slipped up”….. this seems so obviously like he's been talking to people behind your back the entire time, caught you one time and is going to use that now as a get out of jail free card to control you while simultaneously doing the same thing behind your back and feel like he can always just be like well you deserved it for doing it first (like you feel already and won't bring it up for)…. I realise this post was from 4 months ago, and I super hope that it's no longer relevant and you've escaped from this situation because it sounds really miserable to be stuck in a relationship like that…
This is so misogynistic. She's not his SLAVE. She can do whatever she wants with her body. He's lucky she hasn't been sleeping with her ex because with his abusive controlling behavior it seems like he's a walling red flag.
Your parents lived 80 years so at what point does your life begin? What if they lived another 20 years does that mean your life begins at 45, thus repeating the cycle? Op, choose your SO but tell them the door is open.
Not in a million fucking years would I do that. He cheated, didn’t even try to console you, waited til she left (after days of screwing), called and lied about why he didn’t call, blamed a mental illness. He’s a disgusting human being. You’re lesser of a person of you stay with that man. BE BETTER- HES LITERALLY SHITTING ALL OVER YOU.
Great point, thanks for the advice
Do you need to be in a relationship right now? I know that's very hot to hear, but you have a lot going on and it doesn't sound like he is supporting you.
You are so young. Find help. Find a counselor who you can dump all these feelings on and get guidance. You really have more going on than most and need some support. Find a free counseling service if you don't have insurance.
Have the abortion and leave HIM.
Why are you dating someone so old and creepy? Don’t be desperate. It’s better to be single than desperate and settling for the first loser that gives you attention. That’s just pathetic. Go to therapy.
Trust. Respect. Enjoyment of each other's company. Knowledge of each other's boundaries and thoughts/experiences concerning sex. And very very very rarely will a woman agree to have casual sex with you when it's made explicitly clear by you that you have no interest in getting to know her better or deepen your friendship/connection. And you'd have to be pretty damn very hot or I don't even know. As an inexperienced and socially awkward/unaware virgin, what exactly are you offering to a woman? It won't be sexual gratification. You don't know her likes and dislikes and have no interest in fostering an intimacy with her, but she would say yes because??
Stop focusing on putting your penis in a woman. Start focusing on getting to know women as people, not as objects. Go on a few dates. THAT'S how it'll happen for you. Not by cold calling them with sexual propositions. It's so very concerning that you didn't even think or empathize with how that would come off, how she'd feel to be reduced to just a sex object. Maybe reflect as to why you're not interested in developing a relationship or going on dates with women? Why without having had sex, you think it's normal and fine to ask for it.
Exactly!
Half this thread tho: jUsT dOnT gO tO bAd ArEa DuH
What do you mean by a banger exactly?
How very hot is his resolve on refusal to get help? If you told him the relationship was on the line, would he go get help? How long has this behavior been going on for?
It is fairly easy. I've done it. 3 months from start to final.
Religion is a belief system and you two seem to believe in different things. If all is good and you are truly compatible then again you either find a middle ground, decide to never touch alcohol again or get a divorce.
Hey asshole, i have talked to him about his several times. Maybe you should use you big boy brain before leaving a comment on Reddit
It sounds like he was discharging his shame on you. Some guys use humour, some ego, some passive aggressive, but men still have feelings regarding intimacy.
I…listen, not to echo people, but I’m 29 and the idea of dating a 19 year old is icky. The differences in our life stages would tell you that too. Exactly how long have you two been together?
How many times are you going to let him act like he can throw you away and pick you back up whenever he wants? It's not cute and it's not going to get any cuter.
Accept he broke up, send him a text like “I accept that we are no longer together, thanks for returning my things -” and list all the other things he's done to show it is a break up so he can't throw another “I never broke up with you” bs line. In fact make the break up as public as possible! If he wants to fake staying together live while he mentally tortures you in person, he is probably doing it to keep you from realizing you deserve better.
Don't hope to keep a guy who makes you feel like this. Find your sense of self worth then find a man who values you and would never put you in this position again.
I have no doubt he likely took advantage of the break ups on his end (saw other people), but you can't move on – that's against his rules.
UpdateMe!
Show your STBX wife and your parents your first post. And “Cassidy.” Just in case any of them think about forgiving you any time soon. My God.
Act like an adult, and have a conversation with here. Just let her know how you feel about your sex life.
Do you have an orgasm from sex with him? Seems a decent consolation prize until you find someone better.
If you only feel good if the OTHER person orgasms that’s it’s own issue, especially if you don’t care about your own.
Whether or not someone has one isn’t proof of or against being attracted/attractive. A lot of factors are in play for that to happen. Even healthy men can have trouble finishing. If is is orgasming and not including you, that would bother me.
Don’t base your self worth on another’s bodily functions. Definitely find someone you enjoy having sex with for whatever reason.
Watching porn may be common but that doesn’t mean it’s natural or healthy. It depends on the person. If by addicted to porn you mean someone who watches it all the time you should know that an actual addiction is a serious problem that requires help.
If you just don’t like it, find someone who doesn’t. I don’t now that I’m married to the woman I fell in love with. She used to too. I guess we’re better together than porn was separately.
Find your match. Porn is not a bar for self worth and there are men who don’t need porn to feel good, get off or spice up their lives. Find someone else who is nice but who is also into you more than someone or something else and if you don’t like porn don’t date someone who does.
Nice timing wanting to break up with her wile she's pregnant, after 10 years of relationship. You say you had those feelings for a long time now, why did you propose and made a baby with her?
It’s sounds like the poor man can’t do anything right when you’re in that frame of mind
my husband is/was messy. i knew it early on and i accepted it. he knows he's messy, too. you need to be honest with him about how upsetting and infuriating this is. from there, it can be complicated.
i knew my husband was a messy and chaotic person. so i just don't do anything for “his” areas. i don't pick up clothes he leaves on the floor, or the cups on his bedside table. i fold his laundry (when it's in a laundry basket) and then put it on his mountain of mess that is his bedside table. it's his problem. i don't clean his office, EVER. even if i cleaned up after him, he'd just ask “where's (item)?” constantly. not worth it.
that said, he knows how much messes stress me out. he makes a consistent effort to keep our other shared spaces clean. either you love him enough to live with it and he loves you enough to improve himself, or the companionship isn't enough and you should break up.
Naw that’s not my tradition. And it is one of the reasons I don’t want too.
Marijuana?
Bail bro! Regardless of whether it’s new or not! (And if your gut says it was recent, then trust your gut!)
Go get yourself a good chick who has respect for herself, you’re too young to have to settle for the town bike.
She said she doesn't want me in it and wants our relationship private. She prides herself as an influencer and plus she didn't introduce me to her friends that night while i did.
Tbh this doesn't feel right. If she's trying to be an influencer and wanting to pretend to be single, it's to implicitly flirt with some followers, or at least let some guys think they've got a chance with her. If she's trying to be an influencer, why doesn't she have separate accounts?
I'm very suspicious when someone who excessively uses social won't post or mention that they're in a relationship.
Also, look at her 'real-world' actions. She did not introduce you to her friends. I assume by that she did not tell them you were her boyfriend, is that correct? That's also very suspicious to me.
So I should’ve just let her take property that doesn’t solely belong to her. Just because taking the higher route?
Yes but if she says no, then unfortunately, the answer is no, and it doesn't matter if you want a different answer. That's what I'm saying…you don't get to compromise on someone not wanting any sort of sex.
All you can do is decide the relationship isn't right for you, and walk away to find one that is.
That's why I'm saying she feels pressured. You're pressuring her.
I have spoken
Sorry but “figuring things out” is trying another guy to see which she likes better while you wait around. Let her go.
I saw the banner notification in live time saying ‘can you see this reply’ but I can’t see it in my inbox activity or when I click on the post 🙁
Yeah, makes you wonder about all these people on Reddit screaming “pedophilia” and “grooming” at the first opportunity.
This isn't about you being more clear, he knew how you felt and did it anyway. Your boyfriend decided to do something he knew made you uncomfortable. There's a strong possibility he'll do it again (not go to strip clubs specifically, but do something he knows makes you uncomfortable). You need to decide how you want your relationship to go from here.
you prioritize the truth. You prioritize morality over your brother’s shitty behavior. You did nothing wrong. Don’t listen to idiots who blame you.
So he’s really an ex gf (past romantic relationship) he’s still talking with about you?
Why are you dating someone love avoidant? 3 months in; this would be a problem.
Did you ever think to ask to look at his phone and see how long he was communicating with his ex?
Nah, I have a tight schedule and a pretty demanding job. If someone is 8 minutes late every time I see them that’s disrespectful of my time. If I say I’m going to be somewhere at 7, I’m there at 6:55.
The older sister is predating on the younger one and not only is angle incestuous, but the older sister has had an interest in the younger one since she was below the age of consent. The age gaps are also very large (the power dynamic completely unbalanced); this started off as a pedophillic/hebephillic relationship and has continued to evolve in it's control and toxicity.
The mother appears to be in complete denial. And I imagine that her denial of the situation has not only normalized the predatory behaviour, but made it feel nigh-on impossible for the younger sister to seek any help or escape from any of this (how can you if you seem like the only one in the house to have a problem with what's going on? The kid sister is being constantly gaslit).
You need to be the voice of reason and normality in this abnormal situation and help the kid sister by enabling her to voice her thoughts, express her discomfort and encourage her to form boundaries. You also need to encourage her to leave this household and cut off contact with her sister.
Do you have your own place to stay and could you help the kid sister escape her environment by allowing her to move in with you?
About 80% of the adult population has herpes. You only know two people who are open about discussing it, but i bet you know many people who have it but prefer not to talk about it. Herpes is in no way a sexual death sentence. Find an understanding doctor to prescribe an antiviral suppressant medication. Never be physically intimate with someone without telling them you have it. If they reject you, that's their decision and has nothing to do with your self-worth. Also, dump this guy before he gives you an STI that can't be treated.
What she's going through? You're a side piece. She's not leaving him.
You don't. You can't solve his insecurities.
Oh yes. Definitely go to the airport incognito and see how they behave. A goodbye will be VERY telling. Unless her husband is there at the gate waiting for her. Texts might not be too revealing because they spent the whole time together. I’d for sure keep quiet about it a bit and do some digging. The whole thing is sketchy, and I’d be suspicious too.
Also, if OP has never felt like this before and this is all new, I’d trust those feelings.
Your relationship sounds abusive. Anybody who is emotionally healthy would NEVER EVER EVER take advantage of your feelings for them. It's sadistic/narcissistic him to exploit your feelings for power.
Have you read the book “Attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel Keller? It shows that how people respond to your effective communication of needs shows whether or not they can be capable partners.
Abusive relationships can feel really confusing. You're made to feel bad for not being completely unresponsive to absolutely horrible treatment.
You're doing the right thing by being silent. You've already tried communicating how you feel.
The withdrawals from abusive relationships can be absolutely awful. There's an acronym for this FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt). It surrounds you in this type of relationship, and it's only through absolute NC and going through those withdrawals can you eventually gain clarity around what this relationship was. This is not your fault. You deserve much better.
Obviously since most people go through multiple relationships chemistry isn't restricted to one person.
Yet plenty of people manage not to cheat.
I understand that, but feel like i am fairly quiet when i play, and if asked logically to be quiet, am totally fine and have done so. I feel it’s a large overreaction to curse me out, and kick me out over something small like that. I help out in many aspects of my house, and my parents pay none of my bills besides the food and such associated in the house I live in. Am i not justified to my own free time?
Seems like a dead end. you've been living together for 3 years and dating for 6. The time is now. Even in the case he did propose, it wouldn't even feel that good because of all of the nagging. You should probably leave. No ultimatum is gonna change his attitude or end up in an engagement that isn't also extremely prolonged.
I find it immature to understand that other people have different boundaries than you do. Not every relationship has to be like yours.
Well, it’s not your mom or your grandma’s place, so why don’t your boyfriend say something?
This is a Catch 22. If your bf speaks to his son and future DIL, it might result in you being included, but then what? You'll know you're not wanted at the gathering and it only happened because dad intervened.
I actually think the best solution here is for your bf to decline the invite. That takes you out of the awkward situation, and sends a message to the rest of the family that the 2 of you are a social unit.
Is she really a good friend?
Girl what the hell is so funny?
The thing about having a confrontation with a guy who’s bigger than you is that you’re close to their balls. Grab them one time and squeeze as very hot as you can and I can assure you he’ll let you through. ?
I hope you get the outcome you want. Again, good luck.
The age gap has always bugged me for that exact reason, because I 'm afraid that the dynamic isn't equal, otherwise financially, professionally, emotionally etc we are on the same boat.
And still, you continued the relationship and moved in with him. Why's that? If you don't trust him being mature enough, if you don't trust him knowing what he wants….yes, indeed, breaking up is for the best. He deserves someone who treats him as an equal.
You’re not going to like this but you’ve got a parasite, not a wife. So there’s only one solution for them. She doesn’t love you, if she did she would support you, she’s using you.
You deserve to be supported with a real partner. Going forward you need to look at her with clear eyes and let her go, what’s the actual point of being used?
Because she wants to hang out with her work friends and spouses aren’t invited. This is pretty common for work events in my experience.
Girl…what about ANY of that seems innocent to you? You need to protect yourself not your 50 year old boss. At the very least tell him to stop doing things that make you uncomfortable. He will feign ignorance and innocence. Don't act like you're sorry for putting him out or let his act make you feel bad. Stay firm. This is so far beyond the limits of a professional relationship it's not even funny.
Not really. Not at that stage when it’s none of his business who she’s seeing or sleeping with.
Oh okay.
Unless you won billions you need to get smart real fast, there's a reason why most lottery winners end up broke in a year. When you grow up in poverty you build really bad speeding habits due to the idea that money will dissappear if it's not spent immediately, so chill out on giving it away, read into some of the personal finance forums, don't hire anyone from said forums but understand a million dollars can be put away and built interest on ideally you want to get to a point where the yearly interest yield pays for your life style.
He's awful. Does he not understand emotional issues in general? I mean, just basic civility says
If someone accomplishes something, congratulate them
If you have the money to help someone and it isn't a big deal to you, help them
If you don't have anything nice to say, keep quiet
Don't undermine your kids and then wonder why they aren't high achievers
This isn't rocket science. Sarah needs encouragement and you can see that . Personally, I wouldn't marry someone who treated people like that. However, since you have a relationship with Sarah and neither of her parents treat her well, form your own relationship with her that does not depend on whether you marry her dad. It is very hot to be 23.
man this hurts. im on the same page right now. i dont know how to deal with it and im most of the time emotional so i really take it personally.
That's my perspective on it too though we've been married for 3 year's and he's been with the same company since we met. There's a lot more pressure on him these days however so I really hope he will actually leave. It's more talk than actively trying to change the situation though and I am not sure if I should say anything because I really don't want to add to his stress
Innit, the sisters lucky enough to be invited after what she did and the decides to invite the dead leg ex, she should tell her sister to shove it
You can’t know how it will affect you before you take it. How many times have you taken something that said may cause drowsinesses and just thought “yea whatever” and continued on with your day.
Devils advocate any everything.