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1. She probably caught it before she met you, there is no way to know given that she has never had an STD test before. Your risk of getting chlamydia is ~30% every time you have sex, so it is not unreasonable that you did not catch it.

   Ultimately I would just let this be a lesson to get an STD test before ceasing to use a barrier method with a new partner.

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2. I feel that. Thanks again for the advice, much appreciated!

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3. It's time for you to take charge of what you want. If you want a romantic experience, walking through one of the places you've described, perhaps with a picnic, plan it. Do the work. Invite your partner along. You can be romantic, too. It's not all your partner's responsibility.

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4. How late is “I responded to her late because I was busy”. IMO, it sounds like she was really excited but you rescheduling, and then taking your sweet time to communicate with her because you were busy probably turned her excited off pretty quick. A text at 3am is usually not a good thing, I don't know her life but if I am up at 3am, its because I am with a girl (I am a guy)

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5. I can't say that I agree with this assessment. (Oh god, are we fighting? –kidding)

   There are a number of factors that play into my situation personally.

   Much like OP, I was raised in an abusive, chaotic environment. My husband's childhood was far more peaceful. So to him, I think extended discussions on topics where we disagree feel like attacks rather than discourse, where for me, agreeing to disagree is always a better outcome than what a real fight was growing up, so I'm good to keep talking well past his “this is a fight” threshold.

   Things don't register as fights to me until there's an attitude or yelling or cursing (or violence, but I haven't been hit since I left home over a decade ago and my husband is a very gentle man, so that's a moot point here). My husband just genuinely seems to interpret any sort of conflict or disagreement as an argument.

   Any incompatibility seems to be interpreted as a sleight, and, like OP's partner, I'll get comments about our fight yesterday, when yesterday was a normal day in my eyes. It was only once my husband started saying that he felt like we were arguing that we could get to the root of the issue.

   I feel like I'm making it sound like my husband is the problem, but, for example, another major issue is that I don't seem to recognize my own tone of voice, especially when I'm under duress.

   He gets anxious when we're not on the same page because that's not really the environment he was raised in. I share my thoughts and feelings freely even when they directly conflict with his. Sometimes we still agree to disagree, but at least now it's with my acknowledgement of his opinion and feelings. Ultimately the only thing that matters is that we're always willing to keep working through it. Having him flag me down and say, “Hey, we're arguing”, is just what's worked for us. 🙂

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