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Tommy, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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You're his lifeline and it's time for him to sink or swim. He's not 'thinking it over', he's afraid of change.
You're enabling him by driving him everywhere. You're letting him use his excuses as to not get a driver's license or find ways to better himself. If any of you continue to enable him it's only going to slow his progress. I think it's past time you start setting some boundaries with him.
“I will only drive you to help you practice driving and to our dates”. Not to work. Not to the store. Not for anything in particular that he needs to do. You taxiing him around should be a mutual benefit for both of you. He's not your responsibility.
As for the job, I think he's just comfortable and doesn't want to change. Maybe he feels like entering any kind of school is a commitment and he's not ready to commit to 1 craft. That's understandable to an extent, but it's also ridiculous. I find the 'trick' to get people more motivated is to emphasize “getting your foot in the door”. Do something to give yourself options, because right now you don't have jack shit. If you start a in a trade school to be a mechanic, it'll expose you to a wide range of skills from welding, mechanist, piping… But it'll also expose you to how to use tools, maybe how to read diagrams, maybe even how you read drawings (shout-out to all my designer brothers/sisters). You have to sell it to him so the tunnel isn't so dark for him.
Bottom line, I think he's scared to move forward in life. Maybe this life is the only one be knows and he's comfortable with it. He has to change though because life isn't going to wait for him forever… And neither should you.
Yes you should absolutely tell him. Don’t worry about his reaction, that’s all on him (unless violence is a possibility).
You should tell him that you own up to what happened and don’t make excuses. You did it and it’s done. You’re only human and you made a mistake.
Incredibly petty and dumb lmao
Don’t let him tell you it was a mistake. He made a choice to cheat on you.
She bathes regularly, like every other day. Car is similar to house and she doesn’t run late often but it does happen occasionally
Interesting….. when the roles are reversed the comments are filled with on how it’s important for the S/O to go get therapy……. Huh….. weird……
Flip the breaker.
This is a fun insight into the rationalising mind.
Chico’s?
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I’m absolutely not even 10% lol. I think she is feeling insecure and now I feel bad I need to do something nice for her!
Leave him asap and file for custody and child support.
Haha, thank you for responding. 🙂
This is an instance that you may want to reach out to her parents for help.
She can't mess around with diabetes dude.
Sexual incompatibility is a perfectly reasonable reason to end the relationship.
Hang on. Your concern is how to approach your wife? Tell your parents not to post your children on-line. It’s a completely reasonable request. They do not have permission. No one should be posting anything live! about another person without their consent, or if they are unable to consent (like a child) their parents. Explicitly.
So just tell your parents these are the terms. Because if someone violates that boundary then they shouldn’t be around your children. Your wife is being very clear on this from the start, so what’s the problem unless they frequently violate boundaries?
Wow ok I never got a chance to comment on the first post so I will do that here first.
he told me he wouldn't ever want to go anywhere and be seen with a “loser like me”.
This is the moment right here where things would have gotten to “It is him or me” conversation, and I don't care if he's gay, some person calls me a loser like this and gets personal with me there's a good chance it's getting physical. I don't know why people think they can be openly disrespectful to others.
she can tell he is unhappy about our relationship but that doesn't change anything for her. She loves me and that is that.
No she does NOT. I don't care if this is a friend, best friend, or even a family member. If you truly love your SO and someone is unhappy about your relationship then you have to decide right then and there if you should cut them out. I would never have someone in my life that hates my SO or vice versa. Even if it were family.
she is taking his side always
Yeah she is, she's super disrespectful to you and sounds like a huge headache.
Ok now to this update post:
Dude you are so much fucking better off without her. She was disrespectful towards you throughout your entire relationship and that's unacceptable. People can get angry with one another, tell a lie, make a mistake, etc. But if they lose respect for you then there is no saving that relationship. I respect random people on the street more than your GF respected you.
I actually wonder if she let her BFF talk her into starting to hate you and then she asked him to just blow up at you to scare you off because she wanted the breakup. Either way you are better off man. I know it's cliche but seriously just hit the gym, work on yourself and be thankful you don't have to listen to that loser anymore.
So, because I gave him some advice means I am trying to dictate it? He's the one who told me about the situation. I didn't force him to tell me anything. He even told me himself that he knows he is too nice. Are you going to say that I dictated him into saying that?
You sound very immature and not ready yourself for a long term relationship.
They’ve hung out a couple times since, and she’s made it clear that even though she accepts that he has a girlfriend, she is not comfortable with getting to know me and hanging out with me as well.
At this point, he should have stepped back from the friendship.
When I was just dating my husband, in fact the first time we were really together as we lived in different states. It was his ex's graduation, they were engaged but they both just didn't want to be single and it broke off before any marriage arrangements were made.
She was excited to meet me. In fact, we were all in the car together (yes it was awkward) and I was talking with my now husband. We're both very nerdy and made a silly joke and we both laughed. She poked her head to the front and was like “I'm so glad you found someone who gets you, you deserve to be happy”.
We all hung out a few more times before she moved away for work.
My point it, she was happy to meet me, her parents wanted to meet me and everyone was happy we were together. There were no snide remarks or anyone snubbing me or any signs of jealousy.
Her not wanting to meet you seems like she isn't over him. He should not be staying with her because of this. Not because he can't be trusted but because he is sending the message he knows she is into him and it's not a dealbreaker for him being alone with her. It sends the message that she has a chance.
He is keeping that door open and it doesn't feel right because it's not. I bet he would not feel so good about you staying with an old BF.