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Tong , ♀ Ralph ♂, 18 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Tong , ♀ Ralph ♂
Date: October 19, 2022
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Yessss. We need update ASAP.
It’s still the bare minimum, just so happens most men don’t do it
Your boyfriend’s mom might not have known that you bought it with your own money.
Would you be happy if she met up with an ex and stayed in contact over text? ?
Yeah I get this now and realised I fucked up. Don't know how this will work going forward. Thank you for your advice though.
You need to listen to your therapist. You’re super young, you have your whole life ahead of you. It can be a good life if you take appropriate actions and don’t blow it.
Hang in there! Good luck to you!
How many partners has she had ? Apply the same logic
This situation is way over my pay grade, but I do think one thing is important: ultimately May is the one who made the choice and therefore have to take responsibility, don't blame yourself for not be able to “save” her in the end.
It sounds like you're viewing this as a potential compatibility issue, and I don't think you're wrong, it absolutely can be! I have a couple questions and a bit of clarification, tho.
1) What kind of smart is your girlfriend? 2) And how does she think? 3) Are those places where she's better at things than you places where you will appreciate having complementary skills as you co-life together?
Explanations for the above: my partner and I have very different intelligences. She thinks in straight lines and I think in webs of relational meaning. This means she is MUCH better at understanding things deeply (like interstellar, probably!) and I'm better at using contexts to make informed inferences about the world. How does this work irl? She'll explain jokes to me, tell me how code works, she'll learn how to build us a table in a weekend. She used to teach math. I'll explain to her the emotional temperature of a room, why that person was acting shitty, the transactions at the heart of this or that political debate. These skills we have are HIGHLY complementary, especially where there's less overlap. We make each other better.
I feel like I'm noticing in your post that you seem to value your particular type of intelligence more highly than hers. What happens if you do activities together where she has the opportunity to explain something to you that's above your head? You might still find that you don't value her ability to contribute in that way, and tbh I think that's fine – we all have different values. But IF you want the relationship to have legs, one of the things you could start doing is actively practicing gratitude for her and looking for things she can teach you.
What might that look like? (I'm making all this up but insert her skills and interests as applicable) “Hey gf, you make really good [food, craft, music]. How do you get that flavor/texture/effect?” “Wow you navigated that [social thing] with like, zero discomfort. How did you do that?” “How do you know what to get ppl for gifts so well?” “Show me how you handled [work thing] so effortlessly?” “How do you bend like that? Can you teach me?”
If you want a long relationship, really valuing your partner is how you do it. Be wary of contempt – once you feel that, it's pretty well over imo.
I dont think he's waiting tables, that was a while ago and now he is in the internship/job within the industry
depression. doesn’t care to look for help bc of the stigma and price.
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I believe she is hurt by the change of circumstances.
It's one thing to share a house with friends, it's another to share a house with friends and their newborn. They are a handful, noisy, sometimes smelly, people usually begin to suffer from lack of sleep, not even mentioning the time consuming and changing in general they bring. I love them, but they are a lot. Most people do not want to live with people with a newborn and some are even pissed when they are in condo above or bellow or even the next house (not saying they are right, just saying they are noisy and most people notice).
I think she is afraid of what this change will bring. She may feel like she will loose friends and her place go stay. However, she shouldn't have brought this to social media, this was unnecessary.
Have a serious talk with her about what will change and how you will prevent it from disturbing her and making things comfortable for everyone, she should do the same, have a brainstorm about it. Build new boundaries and keep them. But be sure to think this through before the talk.
If you are willing there are also therapists who receive friends. But if it comes down to it, maybe you shouldn't online together.
They make enough money to support us both with our current expenses and I’m SO grateful.
Just to clarify, have you thought about the new expenses with the newborn and the delivery? Will they also be able to cover it or will you be working after the maternity leave? Childcare is very expensive but maybe she could be concerned about you relying on her for this too. It's always expensive having a child sadly and I believe unfortunately a lot of people don't think this before the baby arrives. Try to budget and see how much you would need. (You probably did it already, but I think it's nice to get a head start and they have been having a lot of sale items for babies).
Good luck!
Talk to her like you would any other person because really, that’s what she is. If it leads to anything, great! If not – it’s good practice for dealing with your own anxiety.
There’s not a lot to lose talking to a relatively random person on SC, so don’t overthink it and just talk.
So fake. Clickbait title
I'd advice you against drinking since you can't control yourself under the influence
That’s the thing, ever since I haven’t trusted him at all. I’ve explained to him I now have a really very hot time opening up to him because it felt like so much personal knowledge was forcibly taken from me. He on the other hand is glad he read it, because he felt it was information he deserved to know and would have never known any of it if he hadn’t read my journal
How did the conversation go? The community probably would like an update if you're interested!
If you're hellbent on going through with the wedding even though you've got this major sticking point you should probably do some premarital counseling. If this truly bothers you there's just no point in stumbling blindly ahead without having come to some mediated compromise on this. Note the word “compromise”. This will never be an “okay, I'll never watch porn” situation. But you can probably negotiate to where he doesn't do it front of you. If you can't find the words to strike this middle ground then get with a counselor who can talk you both through it.
yeah literally I’m so excited hahahaha
Leave. This isn't him saying that he knows you are the rest of his life but doesn't want marriage. This is him stringing you along for 6 years only to tell you that some perfectly normal personality traits could still be a deal breaker. If he doesn't know after 6 years you have your answer and deserve better.
The fact that she changed the story multiple times tells you what you need to know.
Yes, you should. It is just a question and you blew it out of proportion in your head. “I noticed in the pictures you’re not wearing the ring. Did something happen?”. That’s it. Get off Reddit because it will only feed into your doubts. Ask her and see what happens.
He says it’s been this way with all his exes. And that I turn turn him on easily. But to get there. To cum, he usually imagines another person with this kink. Says it’s always been this way….
I was surprised this person I interact with every week and who has not shown any interest in me suddenly made a comment heavily implying they want to kiss me, therefore I am trolling. Got it.
And I feel as though you’re ignoring an entire stereotype of hairdressers and barbers being huge gossipers. I’ve known this since I was 8 and it’s shown in media, books, cartoons, etc. it’s not a wild concept.
Thank you, I don't have much experience with girls so I don't really know what I'm doing. And honestly, maybe I did think she lost interest. But like I said, I'm new to all this
Honestly, I think you have different lifestyles. She’s not gonna consider that cheating. And that’s a monogamous person I am to to me that’s cheating or to die said best and I don’t want any part of it. That being the case I would decide whether you can stay with her and work it out I say, probably can’t
I know dating a younger guys prob sounds horrible. But the reality is. And 30 year old willing to date a 22 year old is prob chalk full of more issues.
Well I met him organically and so I have not had a chance to date others. People have made passes at me, but no one that I was remotely interested in or attracted to so I never entertained it. Its really rare for me to find people I want to date as I don't like men/dating that much and can go long periods without dating. That being said, I know if a guy came along that I would've gone for outside of this situation, I would feel guilty about pursuing it even though we have not established or relationship due to lack of time together recently.
This really helps actually.
That was when I decided to demonstrate her the disparity between the strength of men and women. She thought I was joking at first but when she realized that I was dead serious, she happily took the opportunity to prove how wrong I was. I basically told her to ground me as very hot as she can, and then I quickly got out of her grip and grounded her for several minutes till she surrendered.
What I did was an assault, I admit it. I can't express how sorry I am for doing that.
There's a lie here. Which is true, that she “happily” took you up on your physical challenge or that you assaulted her?
At first glance, it does not appear to be a big deal. He invited you to eat, but couldn't wait so he ate something and fixed you something. It's when these things become a habit that I would take note. One time is nothing. I would be upset if it happened on a regular basis.
Reason being is because something is driving him to not want to eat with you if it's multiple times. However if it's just this one time, it really seems harmless.
There might be a part of you that wants this to be an annoying thing. There also might be a part of you that is just over-reacting to a seemingly no big deal situation.
Having that said, I do not see an issue here as a whole on either your or his side. What I would encourage you to do is not bring this up again to him, let that sleeping dog lie. I would schedule my dinners earlier if it really bothers you. That way it's seeing it from multiple angles, where he just might not have been able to wait that long to eat.
On the bright side, he didn't just throw you in the car and take you to Arby's. He took the care of actually making you dinner. I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. Remember to have an open mind. Men are simple creatures. They are also creatures of habit. I hope this helps.
Dr. Reflection B.S.D.
Doctor of BullShit
This is the comment I’ll think of when I start tearing up again. Thank you
My gut also told me she tried to come between us. I have never been untrustworthy or had any secrets towards him. Also i have never been the girl who would let my bf choose between me or a friend. He eventually choose not to go with her but he did try to tell me i said that he could even though i’m 100% sure i didn’t go over my own boundarie! He does tell me a lot that he sees a future with me and sees me as the mother of his kids and wants to marry me! So i wish his actions would also back that up!
But I like being dependent on her emotionally
you marry for the best AND the worst. She can’t support you at your “worst” then she’s a bad partner, sorry if you didn’t realize it earlier, better now then with kids.
I'm going to take a look at this from a slightly different angle.
A big issue to me is that even ignoring the difference in opinions, he is taking a conversation that you were taking seriously and treating it as a joke. That's an issue in a relationship regardless of the actual content of the disagreement.
Keep him around a while. Do you know how very hot it is to find child care that you feel good about? Not to mention the cost, which it sounds like you could afford. If he's a good dad, right now he's worth his weight in gold.
HOWEVER, the no sex thing is concerning. Tell him either you resume a sexual relationship, or you want to go to couples counseling to address the topic. (Most people would rather do anything than go to couples counseling and talk about sex.)
You’re entitled to your privacy. If she can’t trust you because she is still afflicted by the issues in her past relationship, she’s not ready for a relationship. It’s not the job of future partners to fix her past relationship issues.
This person isn't your friend.
I’ll take that as a no. Checkmate.
She goes to work and school at the same time which I think plays a role, but she also has been battling anxiety and depression for a long time, and she herself doesn’t exactly know or why her depressive episodes start. Which makes me feel even more helpless because she’s been taking her medications and going to the doctor but she’s made it clear to me that she is also just as confused as to what’s wrong with her. I just don’t know what to do.
I didn’t ask her permission to ask him, however, when I told her after the fact, she thought it was beautiful. I didn’t know what to expect when I asked, but I went prepared for either outcome. Had he said no, I would have asked him why and what I could do to change his mind, had his answer to that been reasonable, I would have done it. Had it been unreasonable, I would have told him I would marry her anyway, but looked him in the eyes and done so. It would have held the same meaning to me nonetheless.
I think the difference from the archaic tradition, is the sacrifice. You do not offer cattle or livestock for women to their fathers any more, you offer something of much greater value, you offer your word and your integrity.
I feel the same way about marriage and weddings. It matters to gather everyone you love and make a promise before them, it is far more meaningful a commitment. Regardless of the religious aspect, it’s far more important than that if you aren’t a believer.
My ex would say that I am super super sensitive and freak out and overthink at anything and everything. Just the type of person to get my things and then text them what I really feel but I feel like I need to stand up for myself in this position. Definitely some thing on the lines of that but I also want to tell him how again , he did the one thing that I asked him not to do which was tell me when he’s with other woman. At a certain point, it’s a health risk, and who knows he could be shattering the other girl’s heart if she knew what him and I did
NTA. Not one bit, no one but yourself should be able to tell you what to do. You want to move out because you feel comfortable doing so. Go for it. If you're not comfortable with someone pushing your boundaries, DON'T LET THEM. Please don't let anyone take advantage of you or have them step all over you. You've been through a lot, you're a lot stronger than you think you are.
How is you moving into your own place be wasting his money? That doesn't make any sense. Don't let anyone gaslight you.