[UPDATE] I pressured my (25F) BF (26M) into a threesome to flaunt him to my friend (25F), now I’m loosing him

I never thought to login again to this throwaway so I wasn’t aware of the several update requests. So here is an update as short as possible. And here is the link to the original post.

Right after I read through the advice to my original post, I immediately acted. I took the day off to gather my thoughts until my boyfriend came home. I took notes on how to approach and what to say to him.

As soon as he entered through the door I asked if we could talk. I probably looked like a mess, and he immediately realized how serious it was. He sat on the couch and waited with a worried face. I said I was very nervous about and ashamed of what I was going to tell him, and I wanted him to listen till the end before saying or doing anything. Even before telling him what the problem was I told him all was my fault, he did nothing wrong and I hoped that he could forgive me. I could tell he was very worried by then. Then I said I loved him very much and for the first time in our relationship I expressed my desire to spend the rest of my life with him if he thinks likewise. I went on with how great I thought he was in every aspect including sex and came clean with how I discussed these with my friends and specifically how I arranged the threesome to show him off to M. I told him I hated it and was too ashamed and lost to stop it. I said I knew what I did was wrong and dishonest and to please forgive me. I was crying by then. I told him I realized M was way better than me and they did things that I we don’t do and that their chemistry is obvious. I told him I would understand if he didn’t want to continue with me although I hoped he would forgive me and that I was the only one to blame.

When I finished, he reached and hugged me. I will never forget the first thing he said: “Why did you do this to us”. He stayed calm throughout the whole conversation, but he said he was very angry. He said that I should have never shared anything private between us with anyone. Apart from the motivation of the threesome he said that it was so wrong to lead him to believe I was enjoying it. He said he didn’t like it on a deeper level because he is strictly monogamous, and he thinks he would only be happy if he could devote himself to someone who could devote herself to him. He thought I was one of those people who liked to share their significant others and at that moment he was convinced that we wouldn’t work in the long term. This was a huge disappointment for him. He added that sex is good for him only when his partner enjoys it. He even called it some kind of a fetish. He isn’t interested in or gets off by anything that I wouldn’t enjoy, period. He told these with a calm voice while holding me in his arms while I cried my eyes out. He added that we would need time to recover but we would be fine and that he loved me very much.

He proceeded to get his phone to text M. It was strange that he didn’t ask me to do it. He texted her a simple and formal “Hey M, got to say this real quick. I am not comfortable anymore with the unspoken arrangement we have. I hope you understand”. He also told me that he was okay with me seeing my friends, but he didn’t want to contact them, especially M, for a while. He also told me to never share our private matters with anyone.

So that was it. After months, I can’t say we are still fully on track yet but things are getting better.

TLDR: I came clean to my boyfriend. He was angry but willing to forgive. He unilaterally ended it with M and went NC with my friends for the foreseeable future.