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Date: October 17, 2022
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Let him know that using sex as a bargaining chip is completely unacceptable and that you will not stay in a relationship with someone who does this.
Also, insist on couples counseling.
It's what I do, friend. Helping others helps me.
Yup. My fiance is black and it's something that impacts our planning for the future together. A big part of us discussing where we want to online in the is based on us having blackish kids. I've already said I don't know about us visiting my extended family together because of the region they on-line in (rural Louisiana). I've specifically talked with him about how I want to be a good mom to mixed kids.
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I hope he finds someone and you walk in on him fcking her in your bed, personally. You don't even care about what you did, I hope he wakes the fck up and divorces you or he has a plan (mentioned above) to hurt you worse than you hurt him.
He took baths with his sister when she was 14 and he was 18? Pretty sure he groomed her?. Fucking run.
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lol why would you ask Reddit what to do? Most here are worse than your wife. Ask one of your gaming buddies. And I’ll suggest to just tell your wife to fuck off if this is her reaction after 9 years.
And yes I think you are a troll trying to piss off the Reddit type of people 🙂
In no way is it your fault that he escalated an argument with words to an assault with his hands.
Go to the damn party, let insults roll off your back, and stop being a baby about this. Support your wife! She doesn't want a big family estrangement.
Honestly he’s such a shit person if he does that. Uninvite him. If your financee gets mad than you should probably end things as she’ll never have your back
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve been emotionally abused and physically abused, the physical abuse was preferable to the emotional abuse. Her words hurt because she’s trying to hurt you. She’s doing this on purpose. Abuse doesn’t go away, it escalates. Especially since you’ve given her every reason to think her behavior is acceptable.
If it's unintentional she may not realize how it is effecting you. Have you tried talking to her about how it makes you feel?
When he says he stopped it last time, what did he do exactly? Because if he didn’t make it clear he didn’t like what she was doing, didn’t like her disrespecting you and that if she tried that shit again the friendship would be over, then he didn’t stop anything.
And has he been present when she’s shit talked about you? If so did he call her out?
I don’t know the extent of the interactions between him and her when you’ve been around. But he should’ve been shutting her down then and there if she was shit-canning you.
Maybe have one last talk with him and explain that it’s not that you think he’s going to cheat. Just that you feel that he doesn’t respect you because he hasn’t shut her down forcefully.
If he still doesn’t acknowledge that then I’m afraid you may need to face the fact that he’s not as much into this relationship as you are. Hope it works out.
Maybe he was trying to talk some sense into himself. I’m sure someone has brought up DARVO, yes? Textbook.
Was it Sally's Super Sweet 16 or something? Why did she sound like a literal child? Do people even celebrate their engagement anniversary?! Why is that something she's worried about? She needs therapy. Congratulations!
I f'd up big time. There's no excuses. It's been rough for both of us lately.
I'll talk to her soon and this will be the end of the relationship. I've always been honest with her, and I will continue to do so.
We have no idea what, if anything the gf has said / not said since she hasn’t posted. We only have OPs side.
Yes, I agree. In my previous comment, I mentioned:
OP's girlfriend isn't here to give her side of the story, so of course it's good to play devil's advocate for her … this post the only information we're provided with.
It is clear from what is posted that OP is selfish in bed, doesn’t read his partner’s body language or engagement, doesn’t communicate well himself, and frames the conversation as ‘how dare you lay there while I use you like a sex doll.’ That last bit is really important. It’s just such a lack of concern for his gf and sexual partner.
This is only your interpretation. It's not clear to other people. How do you think it would feel to be in a relationship with a partner who seems disinterested in having sex with you? To not receive physical affection or reciprocation for over 2 years? It would make me feel unwanted, unloved, lonely, and it would damage my self-esteem. I would feel frustrated too.
If his general mode is to treat her in ways that cause her to shut down, ignore that she is shut down, then blame her for being shut down, I can understand why the gf isn’t super communicative.
We don't know how OP and his girlfriend interact in their relationship. OP is trying to have an open and honest conversation with his girlfriend. She is being passive in bed. While OP should raise the topic more delicately, the problem does have to be acknowledged in order to find a solution.
OP, this is not someone you want to build a life with. This is not a partnership.
Break up and try again buddy, I promise you'll be glad you did.