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BLOW JOB [Multi Goal]
Date: April 19, 2023
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BLOW JOB [Multi Goal]
It's been a constant thing for a year. Her needs are ALWAYS above anyone else's, she's not a considerate person, then when I tell her this she is indenial about it, then makes fun of me randomly about it.
Thanks! Combat trauma and relationship abuse resulted in therapy for the last 8 years. I even have a few certs myself to provide services. I was thinking about helping other folks once upon a time.
Not sure how this comment is meant to help though.
Time for action and leave.
You are only second, if you choose it.
Oh no, I do understand that. I'm saying YOU don't understand that you showing her TWO WEEKS after the incident does not prove your innocence. If you had been having an affair, two weeks is ample time to destroy evidence.
When you know, you know. We're approaching our 12th anniversary.
I see what you are saying. Seems like OP is trying to keep things as they are for his convenience. He doesn't wanna move in with her which again as u stated is $100 bump up in the grand scheme of things. But they've been together for 2 years. She's really having a hard time at home. Again it's not his responsibility yes but it is his gf.. whose having a difficult time. So..
Does he really see an actual future with her is jst wht I'm wondering.
He can say no he doesn't wanna move in thts his right definitely! But it's just a bit odd to me.
It’s like, she was SO nice to me when I first went there. Spent Christmas and new years with them and she opened her home to me. It was nice and at the time I was thinking, maybe this could work. We all get along great.
She’s not been mean to me directly, ever. But there’s just been these little random comments every now and then that I’m just taken back by. Like she got drunk one night because she was stressed from work, and asked if I wanted to move in and that she’d be open to it if I wanted. I just explained that it felt really early for that and I wasn’t sure if it’d be what’s best for us atm. Then she called me ms. Independent and said “It’s okay I’m used to rejection”. Then said “it doesn’t matter what happens between you and my son anyway”. Like what? Neither me or him even said anything. I was just stunned and he’d been silent through the whole conversation.
It’s just little by little I’m seeing what the dynamic actually is and it’s scary. Also scary that I didn’t see this from the beginning.
She may need to be evaluated for PPD.
You … is there any chance of therapy? Having a kid in NICU is hard, even for the non-birthing parent.
1 feels like you're grasping for a “why” for this, something to blame. Let go of that if you can. Someone can do everything right and still have something go wrong healthwise, especially with something as complicated as pregnancy. Behaving perfectly during pregnancy doesn't guarantee a healthy baby. This is not your wife's fault, nor yours. It's just a random shitty thing.
Focus, if you can, on the fact that there's nothing seriously wrong.
For 2, is there anyone who can keep your wife company? Her family maybe? She probably has a lot of your fears and doubts, and she doesn't have a baby to hold yet either. The bad guy here is the small amount of leave you have, and saving the leave for when the baby is out of NICU makes sense, as long as your wife can feel not abandoned.
I still don't get why he would be upset at those comments alone. You've either left info out or this guy is just really unnecessarily sensitive
I mean, yeah, people do. But usually that comes mid to late 20's.
Just get away from her, go NC, exercise, get a new hobby, spend time with friends…it sucks but it will pass.
I've faked it so hard multiple times that I actually end up orgasming and so I now “orgasm” to orgasm. The human body and mind is a very unique, and who'd of thought it'd be capable of faking itself into orgasming? Normally when I do this, I also orgasm multiple times in a row.
So- maybe it's not so bad you fake it. Maybe you'll actually make it one day. And if you don't then you definitely should discuss this issue with your bf. Something definitely needs to change in the bedroom. Maybe a change of position, stimulation, etc. anything.
Jesus, this is the most bitter, negative shit I've seen on Reddit in awhile.
Please don't have kids in an environment like this. You will be a single mom caring for 2 kids and ur partner. Kids just add to the stress he already has. You don't want to crash too.
Yeah, 8-9 or 10 months ago not really sure when. He was scrolling through Instagram and a friend of his friend popped up in the feed showing her butt. He scrolled so fast but I noticed he saved that photo.
Later I started checking his phone blocking the girls until he realized when we talked about it he said he won't do it again. Well, the next time I did it was curiousity and there was one girl again. When I confronted him he said he was waiting for me to do it again and was only checking me and testing me. I said ok test me I won't do it again.
Since then I never touched his phone he was very open with it he was showing me his saved posts from time to time because there were memes. And my trust in him is rock solid still.
Well, now he claims I did it again because the posts disappear from his saved ones. Idk how's that possible. I don't have any explanation.
Yeah, but there was a time we were doing great I'm so devastated that this is happening and I can't even do anything about it…
I think it’s really important to note that some people become addicted to day trading in a way that’s not dissimilar to people becoming addicted to gambling. His train of reinvesting speaks volumes on that topic. A huge percentage of people lose money while day trading and I wouldn’t trust him to continue putting any money into that, especially not with how much your family has been struggling.
I can’t tell you what to do in this situation, but I can tell you I would be going to see a Divorce Lawyer and talk through my options. I think they’ll also want a record of how much of your money he’s taken without your consent, as that was a shared marital asset too.
You’ve said yourself, this isn’t a life changing amount of money. It’s enough to get you out of a financial hole. Not if he gets to it, seemingly. Is it going into a bank that’s in your name?
Given that you’re not going through a divorce, he doesn’t get to take your earnings as a 50:50 split. That’s not how it works. That’s what happens when some, not all, marital assets are divided. This, to me, sounds like financial abuse and I do think a professional would be better placed to advice you on it.
Going to see a divorce lawyer to weigh up your options, in this scenario, isn’t extreme. Your children deserve a financially stable home, and you can love someone while recognizing they don’t have any respect for you. I think financial legal advice is very much needed here.
This is completely untrue. I’m sorry your own family dynamics have been so bad that you can’t believe that both men and women can fully, consensually participate in caring for their families.
She's given at least two extremely clear signals that she doesn't feel the same way: she called you a brother and chose to go on a date with someone else when she knows you're single. If you confess, you're going to be rejected. Like, you need to get that through your head that she's already said no without you two having that conversation, initiating it will not go well for either of you. Your options here are to either to remain friends and go on a date with somebody else so your romantic feelings will pass, or leave the friendship quietly. I'ma be real though man I'd be destroyed if I was her if you confess or leave suddenly, it's a horrible betrayal to find that someone you thought was a friend was just trying to fuck you, even if that's not true in your situation this happens constantly to women and it's what she's understandably going to assume.
We're not married. He spent over $1M getting custody of his older kids. He would absolutely take my baby too. Worth a ton of $$$ & narcissistic. I was completely fooled, as I knew & loved his daughter who was my daughter's dear friend so I assumed he was safe & awesome, & I fell for all of his lies. He is still pleasant & nice, but if no one is looking he will run off to f whoever bc he's also deeply insecure & needs tons of validation. I dont even have $ to fight him in court. I have no one to blame but myself, & until I figure out some sort of solution that doesnt involve losing my sweet baby half the time I'm here. A lot of women are in my same spot. His ex wife was the cheater & he pays her $15k a month in alimony, but I wouldnt even get enough child support to pay for childcare on my custodial time in order to work bc we're in socal where it costs an arm & a leg to breathe.
You deserve better. Don’t settle for less just for a house where you were neglected and a relationship that made you feel like a mother. 33 is still young, focus on yourself and move on.
Infinitesimal issue. Don’t take digs at your future bf in front of his mother.
In my personal experience as an adult with BPD1, it makes me think that she may be dealing with the same illness. You did not betray her. You were protecting her. My behaviors were nearly identical to hers and ultimately led to disaster because my (now ex) just couldn't make herself deal with it anymore. I was diagnosed and prescribed medication. The symptoms have improved substantially but never completely. I sincerely hope she eventually agrees to professional diagnosis and medication. I equally hope you have the patience to ride it out.
You have to ask?! He cheats on you for 9 months. His crazy ex is a stalker who has contacted your whole family.
Why are you putting up with this?
so on top of running the house, doing all the cooking, and getting herself back in to a professional work environment, you also want her to initiate intimacy? You need to take things off her plate, not add to it.
Yes, this is a red flag. The different values to women his age that he is referring to with are maturity levels, the relationship experience of women his age allowing them to see problems in him you can’t yet, and the need for real commitment. And yes, these kinds of age gaps are kinda creepy. Not as bad as if you were 20, but still pushing it. This guy is done cooking emotionally and you are going to continue to grow a lot over the 2-3 years. You are destinies to out grow him. I would advise against continuing this.
And your sex life with your husband is good for the both of you? You go out one on one dates for drinks with a particular man or just men in general? Do you sugarcoat these dates as afterwork events? Is the romance in your relationship suddenly dwindling? If not, your experience isn't even comparable.
This is not insecurity. This is the beginning of a potential affair.