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The response to this is super dependent on the type of insult/disagreement your wife and your mother had. Like for instance, my grandmother in-law was actively looking for suitable mates for his son who was already married to my mother in-law. If it is this type of thing, there is no way to find a common ground.
You want a middle ground do couples counseling.
Your mom saying crap to your wife makes it understandable she doesn't want her kids exposed to that.
Your mom apologizing to you and not her doesn't count for anything. You are not the aggrieved party.
I have not accused her anymore about possibly cheating but she still refuses to talk or even give a reason why she changed the way she did
How long have you been together/married?
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I’m sorry for what you’re dealing with, this is an unfortunate pickle.
One thing I’m not seeing here: yes, you are at a disadvantage because you are financially reliant on your dad. BUT, your dad is clearly also reliant on you to a significant degree. You have some leverage here too.
I’d tell your dad you want accept drop off pick up responsibilities but you’re happy to sit for him other that that. He’s not going to kick out the only assistance he has with his newborn.
I’d die on this hill man. They did you dirty and now they’re making you fester in it.
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Yes, she is getting help from a therapist. I tried to convince her to quit but she’s dedicated on trying it to make it work. She obviously realised that taking the job wasn’t the right decision in hindsight. Still I don’t want to force her to give up on her dream job even though it’s not good for her.
I’m sorry, this just sounds like OP’s girlfriend fucked a guy and blamed it on being drunk and told OP she didn’t want to. Before you start preaching at me, I’m a rape/child molestation victim of many many years this Reddit sub is littered with this kind of crap. “Well I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing”. “Well I went into his house.. then up to his room and we kissed on the bed but I didn’t really want to have sex but it just happened.”
As a human I have been black out drunk a couple of times and I can still piece together events that happened in those time frames. As regular intoxicated, I remember ever thing! This woman was away from OP for a month and blames cheating on him because she was drunk. She still had the opportunity to turn away and leave, or say no. She had the opportunity not to put herself in a shitty position. She had the opportunity not to cheat. She felt bad and came “clean” then blamed her infidelity on getting drunk. This is what cheaters do. She was not raped and she more than likely was not coerced. People not to stop the, “oh! You had drunken sex and didn’t know what you were doing? You were raped!” Just fucking stop.
If this is what breaks your marriage, you should look at couples therapy. No offense but the owner has every right to decide who should have buying rights and you simply were not it. You were still rewarded for your work (with a larger than previous profit share) and YOUR SPOUSE was awarded with the potential to own the company.
This sounds like a massive win for team “married”. Malt wife and I worked together for years and went for jobs against each other. I lost to her, she never lost to me. Eventually I moved on. I was proud of her and supported her every step of the way because life is OUR journey, not mine. Maybe you should take a week on your own to think about how much you actually value your marriage.
So yes, basically.
First of all, that’s absolutely terrible! Degrading people, especially in a relationship, is such childish behavior (and that’s coming from me (,: ) However, this case is different. I never disrespect him. I wish for you to not experience such thing again.
I’m also sorry about your any problems you’ve had in your upbringing, I don’t mean to suggest you’re a bad person so much as you seen to have a lot of behaviors you need to unlearn if you’re ever going to have healthy relationships moving forward.
We are all selfish on some level but the process of growing up is being more mindful about how we talk, what we talk about, and who we talk about it with. Your boyfriend made a serious request. If you take your relationship seriously, you need to take that request seriously.
Say you aren't happy in the relationship, nothing she did cause it and she is a wonderful girl. You just don't think this is for you right now.
Can't really argue with any of it. If you're unhappy youre unhappy.
Her thought process is she wants to share everything and she can do it because she's seen a few others do it. I said I never saw one friend do this that got married and she just said it's because I don't have many friends. I don't but among the 10-20 friends/family on my friends list that got married didn't post something like this.
Update
I don't wear my ring much because I have sensitive skin and I find rings uncomfortable. Once in a while I like to wear it though.
It doesn't seem like he “forces” you, he just asks you to. Tell him what I said, and also what you said about trusting you.
Everything he does/says undermines you as a partner and a woman. He is a misogynist that believes you need to be led by the nose. Therapy is opening your eyes but you seem to be trying to keep the rose colored glasses in place. You need to admit that your SO sees you as a pet as best. You'll get along only on his terms. Your concerns are yours alone. He doesn't care.
Walk away and get your head back on straight. With therapy, you may be able to recognize and avoid such lowlifes in the future.
They were probably banging while she was talking to you on the phone talking to you.
Not sure if anyone has made this comment about the unsent messages yet. There is a difference between unsend and delete. When. You unsend a message it deletes the message from your phone and the recipient’s phone but it leaves that “you unsent a message” as evidence that a message existed. But you can also delete messages from you phone leaving no trace on your phone that they ever existed. This doesn’t however delete anything from the recipient’s phone. Not sure that this even has any bearing on the situation. The husband may not know that this is an option. And I’m not sure how to interpret his actions if he was aware.
okay so the failure rate of ligations are higher than with bisalps. While overall that risk if small, it does increase over time and if she were to get pregnant, it would likely be ectopic, which could require surgery or if not caught in time, it could kill her. That alone would be enough for me to get the comparatively low risk vasectomy.
However, it sounds like she's kind of just resentful that she's been the one to bear the burden of birth control, the risks of pregnancy, birth, etc and wants you to step up so to speak to even the score. Whether thats fair or reasonable is up to you to decide. I think this would be a discussion best had in couples therapy.
A vasectomy in addition to a tubal ligation seems a bit much. It is a totally unnecessary medical procedure that you don't need to spend money on or be in pain over. How you convince her is the question.
Right, he knows he’s shit, he just wants to make her feel so bad about herself that she thinks she can’t do better than him.
“Hun, you used to be really good about showering after work, brushing your teeth, and taking care of your body. In the past few months you have switched to only showering once a week, etc. Is there something going on?”
From there you let him talk a bit. If he justifies it, then talk about the sheets, the smell, etc. If it feels right to segue into it, you can tell him that you don't find this version of him attractive, and that you really miss feeling that attraction for him. You want the intimacy – a lot! – but this is coming between you two. Ask him to fix it.
Here's thing, though. Unless he specifically asks you to remind him – and even then, I'd be leery about taking that responsibility on – this should only time you bring it up. Either he fixes his hygiene, or you should break up. Don't threaten that, but keep it in your mind.
The problem is that instead of apologising the husband is ignoring OP.
Sounds like your wife likes you as long as she can use you. You are not a person to her, just a prop to get money and have babies. You are replaceable to her, with anyone with money, regardless of how crap they treat her. She isn't even trying to hide her disgusting personality.
I agree with the advice, just a note that it wasn’t “acting out” we were not aware he was going to be there and it was just a shock to us both
He's there to see her cat…
The grandparents can put your inheritance in a trust. Then it's not marital.propwrty. No prenuptial agreement and also, it was their decision and not yours. I would check with an attorney but he shouldn't have rights to what's in your trust.
“hey are you into maybe getting to know each other better and moving past just being friends?” there your go. You will know right away..you are welcome.
uhmm when I used to go out clubbing and I was exclusively seeing someone…I danced alone. dancing is art and for me it feels more artistic when flowing alone. I would literally mount ledges at our table and dance like no one was watching…and when I was in our table area I would still dance alone even though there were guys to my left right behind and in front of me. it’s really not that naked to say no in a cute way and keep dancing. if I wanted for dance with someone I would dance with my bff who is a girl. not because I felt chained to my man…but because I had a man and I just simply wasn’t interested in having some guy who is not my man put his hands all over my body and have to feel his hot on up against myself.
all of what you’re saying is highly questionable. and even if it’s what she feels and she’s being a “free spirit” she is pinning this all on you. which shows what she’ll do in the future…
later down the road…and further into your relationship….be prepared to have her blame you for your emotions which is not fair at all. she’s not even listening to you…she’s literally being mean about it all and most guys wouldn’t even want their GFs in a club to begin with let alone out on the town without them.
You’re being sooo chill and she’s getting upset over you not wanting some guy “from her past” with a “history of cheating”, currently in a tiff with his GF, rubbing his nude on and hands all over her..YOUR GF.
Like uhhh…that’s an understandable request to me.
(28F)
This relationship sounds like its well past done. A therapist should never be giving advice and telling him what to say, they're supposed to be neutral and the fact that he is using her as another manipulation technique just goes to show that he can't actually work on his behaviours for the better.
It won't get better, just worse.
You could as well straight out say:
“Babe… I do hate your paintings!”
They are the way they are because this expresses who she is.
We've agreed that when the brother will need to move in, we'll find a two-bedroom apartment.
Make sure it's a two bedroom apartment your boyfriend can afford to continue living in if you end up realizing you can't live this way and need to leave him.
I considered it but thought I was being paranoid.