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Languages: en,es,fr,it,ja,zh
Birth Date: 1923-10-16
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorRed
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: November 6, 2022
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I met my husband in college 13 years ago. I have been in love with him for for 12 years 11 months 30 days and 23 and 3/4 hours. But very soon I noticed he was more interested in my best friend so I tried to suppress my feelings. She was always the beautiful one and it wasn’t a surprise that he would fall for her. Before graduating however he asked me out. I was surprised but over the moon. I thought to myself that I must’ve been mistaken about him like her because why would he ask me out instead? We got engaged and married within 2 years My best friend was my MOH.
My marriage was like a fairy tale. I felt so loved all the time. We have 3 beautiful children and my husband’s business took off and he is very successful now. My best friend also got married and we stayed close even after she moved abroad. She got divorced a year ago so she moved back home, she visited us for a weekend on her way. When she saw our place and how we lived and after a few glasses of wine she said that my husband was the one who got away. I was so confused but she said didn’t you know? He asked me out several times and I said no. My husband started telling her to cut it but she insisted and swore that I must’ve known. My husband said she was lying so she took her phone and there it was, a text from him to her the day before we got married telling her he will always wonder what if and it made him sad and asked her out one final time.
It was like the walls closed down on me. Like the world has ended. I didn’t say much to her just was silent. Before she left she apologized and told me that she was overwhelmed with the life I had and felt resentment.
I’m in therapy now. I thought it would be a magical solution to my misery but it isn’t. It’s good to talk to someone I know but that’s just when I’m able to talk. Often I just sit there not knowing how to formulate a sentence. Same at home. It’s been a year now since he touched me. I just can’t stand the feel of him. The few times he tried I went into hysterics and my body physically broke out in hives. I feel ugly and disgusting. I haven’t looked myself in the mirror either because I just see something obnoxious looking back at me so it was easier to stop looking. I live! for my children now because they’re innocent in all of this. Other than that I don’t know what to do. My husband is in total despair. He says he loves me and he never loved anyone like me but they’re just words to me. I know I’m being unreasonable especially that I don’t let him near me but all I can say to him is that I don’t know when or if this is going to be better. I gave him the option of divorce but he adamantly refuses that and starts panicking when I bring this subject up, same with me giving him permission to sleep with others since I can’t and I don’t know when I will be able again. What can I do more? Nothing seems to work with me. I still love him but I just can’t. Help!?
Ok… you moved on with him after a month because you needed to get out of your mother’s house. I get it.
But like I see all the time in this Reddit you are so young and rushed into a full blown relationship. We used to call that “instamacy” when I was in college.
So now you are living with a guy you don’t really click with, and you are having big emotions all the time. I think teletherapy might help there.
You need a roommate that isn’t a boyfriend. You need to move out and work on yourself. I don’t even think this guy is an abuser I just think you are so desperate for love (and he may be as well) that you are pounding a square peg into a round hole.
nope she was everything i wanted. everything. i will never find a woman like her again. ever. its taken everything form me and ended in theh worst way imaginable. and i cant cope with it. im so devastated.
Their age became irrelevant the moment they got married. You don't cheat on your spouse, regardless of your age.