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Yesika Saenz, 26 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Yesika Saenz
Date: September 24, 2022
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First, get a paternity test. If the baby IS yours, then you and baby mama need to have some serious conversations. If it's not yours, go about your life. Once all of that is done, check with your doctor to make sure your vasectomy worked. Good luck!
He tells everyone I'm his gf and texts me all day every day. I have autism (but high functioning) and I struggle to understand relationships in general ?
Im scared to say I was without knowing the full details, I dont understand how I could have ended up alone with him but I do remember when with my family he was giving me free drinks. Then the rest of the holiday he wouldn’t even look my direction, he doesnt even speak english
You are 38. What exactly do you imagine is ahead of you in life?
You are about to enter the period of life where the older generation in your family starts to die. That’s naked.
You are about to enter the period in your life where your peers get sick, and sometimes die. That’s hot. Hopefully, it won’t be you.
You are about to enter the period of your life – if you’re lucky – where you have small children. They cry, they get sick, they break bones, they have interpersonal crises. That’s hard.
Then they become teenagers and thats naked.
What exactly is your plan for weathering the naked times? They are coming. You literally cannot escape them. You are a human being, and being human means experiencing hard times.
This right here. This is not a “mistake.” This is a serious character flaw.
Your partner made a conscious decision – thousands of times, if not hundreds of thousands of times – to foster sexual relationships w several men over a lengthy, lengthy period, while actively, habitually lying to you every single day about the relationship you thought you had with her.
That shows a chronic and complete lack of regard for you, your health, your safety, and your relationship. This is who she is. A chronic cheater and habitual liar. You don’t fix massive character flaws like this. You walk away.
You honestly believe that she’s deleting messages after she stopped cheating?
Come on bro, she’s still doing things she knows you wouldn’t like, and that’s why messages are still being deleted.
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Jesus christ op get the hell out of there or you will die.
You don't “save your marriage” by threatening divorce, that's not how that works. Divorce shouldn't be a tool used for motivation, it's an end to the relationship.
Kick her out now. She’s using you for financial gain only.
I wanted to update everyone on the situation and again, express my gratitude for all of your advice and opinions!
As of yesterday, I have completely let go of the insane amount of emotion that has pulled me to her for so long. It is very naked and will require time as some of you have stated, but it is truly for the best in my life and for the sake of my deteriorating mental health. I helped her pack everything and moved her to her parents home just down the road. We have agreed on 50/50 custody and I have agreed to continue to help her financially until she gets on her feet.
As per my concerns about Real Estate, I proved everything I was uncomfortable with to be very valid because she left her email logged in on my computer, to which I did the wrong thing and snooped through. I found an email from her Event Coordinator (EO) at work where she had sent her the invitation over email about a work event taking place this week. Keep in mind, this email was first sent to her on Friday the 13th, and all communication happened on that day as well. During this time, we were supposed to be “Working” on things and she had “Committed” herself and her “Loyalty” to me a week prior. The email basically went as follows.
EO: Hey (her name), here is the invitation for the work party next week. Her: Count me in! EO: Perfect! Will you be bringing a +1? Her: No. Just me! EO: See you then!
I then questioned her after reading this email, somewhat entrapment to be fair, but did not tell her I knew about the email, just asked about the event, to which she tried to lie about the event being a +1 event and that it was only for the Realtors. I asked a few more questions that she basically beat around the bush about because she started to catch on until I admitted to it and then she yet again decided to try and make me feel like a psycho. To be fair, I will say I'm a little fucked up in the head considering I'm a Disabled Vet for a reason haha. But I have never been told I was psychotic or crazy like she tries to make me out to be. If anything, I trust my intuition so much that I'm willing to go to some far lengths in order to prove it because she cannot tell the truth ever, and I hate actually questioning my own sanity.
At this point I plan on healing from the last 8 years of my life that ultimately went to waste on a human I legitimately wanted to spend the rest of my life with and would've truly sacrificed anything for. I will be taking the next few months to process everything and heal to the best of my ability. Thank you all again, and keep up the good work!
PS. This could be the perfect time to take my Dentist out, who's been offering me a “Casual Dinner Date” for some time now, but I have respectfully declined due to not being at the point of really letting go yet. But that will be a while before I truly am ready.
A yeast infection doesn’t always have intense itching or cottage cheese discharge. I’ve had them before and the only time I’ve ever actually seen cottage cheese type discharge was when I was on an antibiotic for BV. Neither BV nor yeast infections altered my odor. In fact my only BV symptom was a single episode of between period spotting.
That's his boundary and he has every right to enforce it. If she chooses to get a stripper he has the right to choose not to be married to her. Frankly, it's fair to know up front that she will be choosing stripping over her marriage. I'm all for it. It doesn't have to be a threat, but it's important to have the cards on the table.
If he is willing to basically toss them aside over this, I can’t imagine he’s all that sincere about holding the views he claims to hold.
Thank you, we have the same tastes in music and art and we are both skaters and heavy into the scene. We go out on dates and places like the beach and stuff normal couples do i suppose. We talk about our life experiences and travelling and all sorts of things. I am still living at home with family but am looking to move out, he has offered for me to move in with him however I would really like my own place so I can still explore the new freedoms of living by myself.
How “drunk” do you think he was? They wouldn't have let him in if he was so drunk, he's using alcohol as some sort of weird excuse. He cheated point-blank.
Good for you!! Talk to him as soon as possible! Good luck!!
That's just one of the sub rules for throwaway accounts.
Thanks for the “intense” response? You do realize age plays a role in life?
Additionally we were never married. I did walk away because of me, but you cannot act like it does not take two people to build and maintain a relationship.
Again, thank you for your input and I do understand that having space alone lets you discover a lot about yourself. You have to understand that the majority of my relationship was alone time. We had very few common interests or things we actively did together that were not chores or eating or sex etc. It was a very bad match from the start and I spent years trying to put effort into something that I sure as hell should of walked from but I was too weak to hurt her. Finally a year after my mothers passing I realized life is way too short to continue forcing a square peg in a round hole. Over all of these years she had supported me as more of a family member than an actual lover. Our initial crush and infatuation died off probably by year 3 and I kept trying to make things work for no reason but to frustrate myself.
I am sorry If I seem combative or something, but I am seriously not.
100% is still cheating. If you talk about it prior, that's different. I told my girlfriend that she could fool around with other girls, but she has to tell me about it after or invite me.
Now that I’ve read other comments from the OP it seems weirder than the original post suggested.
Regardless, I don’t think it hurts to try to thoroughly communicate and set boundaries before jumping to breakup.
Keep looking and keeping calling landlords.
If you want to be a bit crummy about it, see if you can get the cats registered as emotional support animals. Some states have no limit on the number. Then they wont be able to legally turn you down because of the animals, but you'd be starting off on the wrong foot.
Change your passwords on any and all accounts you have—NOW. Just in case.
You can’t let a man to have this much control over you. He is abusive, and slowly but surely, he has been breaking down your walls. My love, is this REALLY the man you want to spend your life with?
You know what you have to do. I have every faith in you, and good luck with your writing class! I’ve never taken one, and I’m excited for you!
—hugs—
?
Hon, this man is going to ruin your life. Don't do it.
This is clearly just a creative writing exercise.
1 you would know straight away if he was your car or not if you loved him so much
2 the age gap with you and your bf is 21 years not impossible but weird
3 if this where real you'd just take him to the vet to be sure because a good cat owner would have there cat chipped
The days are long and the years are short just remember that. However you are lost in both of your lives trying to stay afloat. I would definitely put it into perspective for him that you're drowning and you need him to pay attention. I would definitely hire a babysitter or a nanny to just help you. Put your foot down about it. You can also balance it out by saying I don't mind if you do this but I'm going to need that to make it through. I wouldn't hesitate to carve out some time for just the two of you. After 30 years of marriage it's my one regret when I look back on raising our three children. We are enjoying our time now that the kids are grown but I wished we had taken time here and there for ourselves. Good luck.
Don’t ever buy a house when you two aren’t married.
Look around for your own property. He has his own house after all. Since he doesn’t want to quickly buy a house with you, don’t keep yourself from buying something to call your own.
I've read through all of your comments and a bunch of the other ones too. I think your instincts are on the right track. A lot of the comments are focused around the perceived “grandiosity” of a $1.5M home. I online in Ontario as well (not in the GTA), I understand how wild housing prices are, even though the idea of a “luxury home” isn't particularly appealing to me personall (not only because it's not something I can afford, but also because it doesn't align with my priorities in life; I don't think it would be something that would make me truly happy).
I don't think you are a gold digger. That's not the impression I get at all. Sure, you come from privilege (you mentioned your parents are wealthy), but I don't think that's the same thing because you aren't trying to take advantage of anyone else having money.
Putting the house purchase aside for a moment, I think the bigger issues here are his behaviour and lack of honesty with you. Many of the comments seem to be overlooking the nuances of this situation. You've mentioned in various comments that he:
1) has been deceptive regarding whether he personally saved $300k 2) becomes defensive when you try to discuss money, and particularly his frivolous spending habits 3) has blown $100k on gambling in a single year 4) made $400k last year and didn't save anything because he likes to “live in the moment” 5) bought a business and then promptly and intentionally declared bankruptcy to avoid repaying the loan for said business (that seems really deceptive to me) 6) is pushing for a “luxury home” and that is contrary to what you want (but you've also mentioned less expensive “dingy” homes so I'm a little confused on what your standards are in this case) 7) has weaponized his “savings” — which were forced on him by his mother, no less — to avoid being financially responsible 8) is trying to avoid taxes by purchasing another business (I may have misunderstood this as I didn't see much context behind the comment) 9) has a level of unpredictability in his income 10) is pushing for marriage and this house purchase (but you also alluded to feeling an urgency to have kids so I am not entirely clear about whether you are also wanting to push forward for that reason, feel free to clarify if you'd like)
IMO, those are all important reasons to take pause.
1) deception is a terrible foundation for any relationship, marriage or otherwise; lying about money is a big deal and signals a willingness on his part to lie about other things 2) big red flag! He doesn't want to be honest with you about his spending, nor does he want to be held accountable. I don't think you have a full picture of his finances but you seem to have a good sense that it's not a good situation overall 3) YIKES! He obviously has issues with impulse control (which he plays off as living in the moment) … That is a huge amount of $$ to blow on gambling, and to me that signals addiction. Has he addressed his gambling? Taken any responsibility for the impulse control issues? It sounds like he has not. This is not something you want to attach yourself to. You are right to be wary, and to mention that marriage makes his issues into your issues. 4) $400k and nothing to show for it is a blazing flag IMO. Does he have anything saved towards retirement, investments, etc? It doesn't sound like it but please correct me if I am wrong. I just cannot imagine making that much in a year and not putting anything away… Especially if his income is not predictable 5) beyond deception, that is also really unethical behaviour. What do you think he would do if you married and had kids, and then you decided you couldn't stay together? I don't get the impression that he would step up to his responsibility as a father — more likely he would find a way to avoid paying support (e.g. by declaring bankruptcy and evading financial responsibility) 6) this gives the impression that he wants the showy façade but isn't interested in actually earning that. And you are wise to be wary of spending that kind of money with someone who is not financially responsible 7) this is a big deal. I get the feeling he is a good manipulator, and not particularly responsible or mature. Again, this is not the kind of person you want to tie yourself to with marriage and children. 8) Yikes. See #5. 9) all the more reason to be saving aggressively for the years when he doesn't make $400k (or whatever amount he would need to fund what he wants in his life) 10) Do not marry this person without a full and complete picture of his financial situation. Also do not marry this person without honestly assessing his level of maturity in other areas. Do not have children with him unless you are confident that he will take responsibility for said children — financially, emotional, and in practical terms (I.e. taking care of them).
What is the expectation in the event you do have kids? Who becomes default parent? And in that case, are you expected to just rely on him to pay for life? Because he isn't showing signs of being responsible enough to do that.
I think you have a lot to consider outside of the house purchase issue.
Once she moved out her life her problems
Was this the first encounter with the tattoo artist after she moved out , probably not , solid chance she was already stepping out on you with him
This weight is not for you to lift anymore , let her go and either win or lose on her own
It sounds like you know what you need to do. If it helps, I support your decision. Good luck.
It’s a really good analogy, and possibly very accurate in this case. Thank you
From how I'm reading this post it sounds like he's just posting how he's seeing things. Perhaps, he's not getting a good read on the total situation… Or your point of view…
Really it might have been better if you didnt say anything, it would have been a secret view into his inner mind ?
I would set firm boundaries because I honestly wouldn’t want to do that every Sunday. Sounds absolutely suffocating. Twice a month maybe, even once a month would be enough!
Very close” is code for “far too involved” and when you say she’s adamant, does she actually listen to what you want, ever?
The red flags are flying high
What would be a good idea if possible is you both rent an appartment next to each other. He manages to get assistance and you can help him out when needed but you both keep your independance.
So you tell him not to come just so you choose be mad at him for not coming? You need to grow up, hun.
You will never have a good relationship if you act this way.
You are an adult. Not a child. Use your words. Tell him what you want. Stop making him guess. He doesn't read minds.
“Chasing him for money” likely indicates that he got scammed and they are now trying to blackmail him.
Well, his wife knows now, kind of kills much of the blackmail angle.
If anything, this indicates that it was his first time–he's naïve and has no connection to the business.
And yet it only takes one time to prove he's unfaithful.
I'm stunned by the amount on people here wanting to break up with their partner but just not doing it. I don't get it. You want to break up? Break up! It doesn't matter if you've been together for five years. It sounds like you haven't been happy with her in a long time.