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1. My best friend is gay and we flirt all the time. We have for years. I'm bi and now married to a woman. We still flirt. My wife knows that he knows me better than anyone. We're honest about everything.

   That last part is what you're missing right now. You need to be honest with him. Tell him you're attracted to him, even though you know you'll never have more than a friendship. Tell him that you need him to take a step back with the affection for a bit, because it's making it difficult to keep things in place in your head. If there's a possibility he feels anything more than friendship for you… he's most likely to tell you if you're honest with him. Even if not, if you value his friendship… just talk to him.

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