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Zara, 23 y.o.
Location: USA
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Date: October 4, 2022
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I am 21F and I have done my fair share of mistakes in my life.
I have told my boyfriend exactly how many men I have slept with, but I have kept some of the details to myself..
I don't know if I should tell him every detail or just keep some to myself.
I feel very guilty keeping them to myself and I feel like I'm living a double life, but on the other side, I feel like we don't have to tell our partners every little detail from our past and should keep things just to our selves?
I don't lie to him and am loyal and love him very much, but I aslo feel a lot of people keep some parts of them hidden?
We broke up. She said her mental health was struggling and she couldn’t work on herself while being in a relationship, because she couldn’t put the energy into the relationship. It’s just so harsh when I see her developing these close relationships with other people. She refused to get therapy because she said she wasn’t ready and wouldn’t do couples therapy.
I don’t feel like she tried at all.. I just feel so broken and unloved. She told me I was her safe space this week, that she wasn’t taking space to break up. She said she still loves me and still wants to marry me?? I don’t even understand how she could say that to me. She said even if we took a break she wouldn’t know how long she needed and it wouldn’t be fair on me.
Errr it’s a red flag that you’re still considering this
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When you see a sign that indicate danger you walk away. Erratic behavior and attempt at getting big emotional response quickly before ghosting people are a sign of danger.
That's what happened to me. I (very briefly) dated a 26 year old when I was 17 and thought I was soooo mature. Thankfully realised he was not a good guy after a month or so and broke it off. When I turned 26 and would see 17 year olds I thought they were babies and realised again how messed up he was.
Nope, let it be a lesson to you.
So it’s like not even real. It’s less real than actual porn. Dudes prob just boned up for some weird shit. Let my boy love a little. It’s never better than the real thing.
It doesn’t seem like he has a porn addiction or anything. And hentai couldn’t be more not real porn than any other genre imo.
Congratulations OP, well done ?
Yeah, I think at this point I do want to be exclusive, even if we aren’t officially gf/bf. I think that’s reasonable especially if we start having sex. I don’t want to get STDs. And it seems the emotional intensity lends itself to that. So I’m thinking:
-Gauge his views on cheating/monogamy -Ask if he’s seeing/talking to anyone -Say I would need exclusivity to move forward
But see I hate this lol. I like dating a guy that asks me these things. Pursuing/defining isn’t in my nature. But perhaps it’s unfair to expect that of someone else
Come back when you’re ready to hear someone who sees something in your post and comments that you don’t want to accept yet.
Yea he’s definitely not who I thought he was
Yeah, at first I read it as “I would love to go”. Which wouldn’t be weird, but he said “I would love to go with you.”
THIS. This is what this is! People are jumping really quick to say he’s an abuser when it sounds like Mom is the abusive one
That’s the thing. I really can’t grasp if I don’t want to or I’m just scared, cold feet type of situation. He has definitely became a better man as he has gotten older but I do think we’re very different. I would hate to go back and end up feeling as trapped as I felt before but what if I don’t? Is the risk worth it, am I over thinking. Why am I the way I am.
Honestly valid, I can't even argue it but the feelings are making it all a bit crap
Not remotely controlling. This is a sweet post.
Thank you for explaining reality to ppl. As someone who nearly died from the hell you describe I appreciate you taking time to do so.