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Date: October 15, 2022

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  1. u/LowSatisfaction1248, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

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  2. Just divide the place into an area for you and one for him. Keep yours clean and only share rent. If he comes whining than he can shove it.

  3. Everytime he criticizes your Korean, speak English instead. After your reply, let him know it's his turn to speak English and you will make sure to correct any grammar mistakes he makes.

    At least you make an effort.

  4. u/NovelGoat6700, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  5. The insanity of this thread. Backing up a wife harassing another woman because she doesn’t trust her husband? Not. Ok.

  6. Hello /u/HaMe94,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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  7. Your bf hasn't done anything suspicious, you have a great relationship and love each other…why would you even go through his phone in the first place? For those reasons listed I'd say just get over it and forget you read it. If you feel it's worth it and you HAVE to know, then ask, but keep in mind it could be something completely made up and he might feel violating his privacy is worth breaking up over. That's the chance you take when you do shit like this.

  8. Hello /u/mosase1,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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    request advice in real situations involving two or more people

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  9. You are misunderstanding what I'm saying. Her parents are still caring for her, it's their money so their rules. You don't have to agree with their rules, your gf doesn't have to agree, it's irrelevant if anyone agrees or think they're being reasonable, they get to set those rules because they are ones footing the bill. If you and your gf don't like it, pay your own way, but two under 20s are really unlikely to be able to afford all the daily life expenses and pay for a phd too?

    What I meant by sacrificing her education is if she chooses to not follow her parents rules, they might decide to stop providing for her and she will forfeit her ability to study further, which is not the right path to walk in my opinion.

  10. Hello /u/flowerpower0089,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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  11. Jesus Christ. People really focused on the vibrator and not OP lying for years? Most people would have reacted to the news of wanting to use a vibrator a lot better if it wasn't mentioned on top of a consistent years long lie.

    Some of you people are fucking idiots lol.

  12. My god. Girl, I’ve read your comments. You can’t seriously be this naive, this guy is a walking red flag. No sane person talks about pregnancy a MONTH. And usually when a dude significantly older dates someone our age (I’m 23), there’s something serious wrong with him so no woman his age would touch him

  13. Why on earth did you ask her and then keep pushing if you were going to be upset with the answer? Do you know who my husband thinks about during sex? Me either! Because I would never ever ask that. If he wants to fantasize cool, if he’s not doing that also cool.

    If you are overall unhappy in this relationship then get a divorce but you need to sit down with her and tell her, calmly, why this upsets you and how it makes you feel and she needs to communicate what it is that fantasizing, in general, does for her during sex that makes it necessary.

    This isn’t the end of the world for your relationship if you don’t want it to be but you guys need to get real good about communicating for this to work and it has to come from both of you. If it’s just you opening up and she shuts you down or dismisses, belittles your feelings then it’s time to move along.

    Marriage counseling would be a great place to start.

  14. Just yesterday I read a post from a 8 months pregnant woman who decided to stay with her cheating husband. In his personal diary, the husband wrote that he wants his wife dead so he could finally be happy. Have these women never seen news? I can't help but think about all those women who got murdered in that exact scenario.

  15. You are seriously overthinking this. Truly. Imagine where else you could have spent the emotional energy you've expended on this.

  16. I must have missed that. I thought he said the dog does go outside but then wants right back inside after.

  17. I think maybe it was just the whole “acting dead inside” thing that they said. It can be off-putting at times.

  18. This sounds like severe sexual trauma (the fact she sees your normal body reactions as not finding her attractive)

    Remind her your consent matters as much as hers, that you being tired/having a lower libido than her doesn't mean you don't find her attractive and sexual trauma focused therapy could really help her if she persists.

    Other than that, I wouldn't allow her to pressure sex too much before ending it. You deserve better.

  19. You're right that trying to nag or otherwise coerce an unwilling partner into saying yes is a form of sexual abuse. He doesn't respect you. He can fulfill his “needs” with his own hands in private – your body is not a masturbation tool.

    Dump him.

  20. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask. It would require you to logically apply your argument to another gender and think if you would keep that same energy. But that would require using more of your brain capacity rather then spewing unintelligent statements like your original comment.

  21. 'I never put her down. Ever'

    Proceeds to heavily judge the way she dresses and point out her physical flaws.

    You don't deserve this woman.

  22. It’s total projection. I’ve known couples where the cheating partner was convinced they were being cheated on because of how easily they cheated. The other party was absolutely not cheating and it only ruined the relationship.

  23. Most men don't abandon their children. If you don't want other people to point out how you're wrong, don't promote sexist stereotypes?

  24. Why do you care if you come across as harsh. She’s your ex and disrespecting you by believing you so naive you’ll stupidly pay the bill (or feel bad for it).

    See how she’s ahead?

  25. Kind of weird but maybe she has something going on. Never hurts to send a check in text that doesn't require her to reply back.

  26. When he called her a bitch how did you deescalate? When she thought she was defending you how did you deescalate. When you saw him coming up what preventative action did you take? Here’s an example of how the interaction could’ve gone: See him approaching, tell gf “god this guys an asshole”, say hi immediately followed by “my gf has to work early so we’re in a rush, we’ll definitely chat next time”. That way she knows going into it this particular guy has a record of being a dick, you seem pleasant in passing, you avoid any interaction. Another option would’ve been to tell him to not talk to your gf like that, she feels defended and will stop engaging, he has a clear boundary, and then make a joke about how you don’t stand up for yourself so she has to wear the pants.

  27. He asks for it when you are having terrible days on your period?!? what a selfish fucking asshole omg!!! NO

  28. He asked you point blank if you wanted him to stop talking to her and you did no. Why can’t you just be honest and talk like friggen adults?

  29. I suggested to move to Brisbane but then he said “why should we both be in a losing situation”

  30. Not gonna shame either of you for this. But I would encourage you to do some very hot education and provide all the details to him, in the most gentle, respectful way you can.

    Just some ideas, find and save all the comments regarding this surgery and or cream. There's at least 2 potential suggestions here in the comment section. Do some research outside of reddit and learn what you can. Take all of that and present it to him.

    I'm sure he's very scared and intimidated by this surgery. Most men here are saying the same thing. Most men are heavy with their ego and won't see the benefit for this.

    This could improve but it's going to take some education and love.

  31. Showering and cleaning are two different things. Especially if he showers or takes very hot baths to soothe muscles. These actions could make him smell worse due to sweating. They could also make bacterial infections like yeast worse. He needs to start cleaning fully with a disinfectant soap such as dial. Then an antiperspirant for the pits and possibly for the grown area.

    Underwear and under clothes in general need to be washed with soap and water as the soap will help emulsify body oils and will help kill bacteria. Once he has established good “known” hygiene standards and if he is still smelling he will need to see a doctor.

    The biggest issue from a conversation stand point is how long you have let this go. When you finally tell him he has stunk for months to the point of missing out on sex and smelling at work is trust. I simply wouldn’t trust someone that let me be in an embarrassing situation for months. Imagine you had a booger on your nose. He tells you he noticed it two months ago. Meanwhile you have been to friends, meetings, and many stores.

    Ps if he is a guy and takes 3 to 4 showers a day he is 99% addicted to porn and masturbation.

  32. I’m glad you are going to help yourself get over your sexualization of her friendships.

    I know that men are raised to basically never connect with other humans on an emotional or comforting level until they have a girlfriend but that is some messed up toxicity.

    Physical touch is bonding and not automatically sexual. And being bi doesn’t mean any of your girlfriends friend are into her. Just like you’re not into every girl you ever meet.

    I hope you hug your dude friends and start breaking down these boring boundaries that just isolate people. Humans are social beings and we thrive off more hugs, more touch, more connection.

  33. Besides considering pregnancy test, did you change/go off birth control or any other medications lately? Certain meds impact our sense of smell and how attracted we are to pheromones for men. If you recently had a medication change that could also potentially be to blame if you can't find the source of the problem.

  34. I hope you learn from this to never do that again with anyone. In fact, I would start talking talking to people about what really happened. You’re helping him do this to yourself. You don’t have to keep quiet anymore. And never do that in a relationship again, it doesn’t make a noble or a better person, or protect him. It makes him victimize you.

  35. Ask her if she is in the process of ghosting you. Tell her that, if she doesn't to continye your thing you will accept it, but you hoped she would care about you enough to not lie to you like that.

    If she denues, ask uf she is “cheating” on you. Even if she denies both (and definitely should she confirm them) you should probably break up sith her. Tell her you are considering it, if she tries to stop you, ask of her to come to meet you asap. No excuses, if she needs to cancel some plans, then so be it.

    If she refuses, or agrees, but fails to arrive, just message her you break up with her, and then you move on with your life. Perhaps block her as well.

    If she comes to meet you, demand answers fir her behaviour. Tell her you have no interest in lies or excuses. Tell her she either tells you truth, or you should end things then and there likw civilised people.

  36. The problem is that she’s not following through on the direct part. If she asks why and the mother says something to diffuse, that’s the mother trying to skirt the answer and it’s working.

    If she says “oh I don’t want to upset you, I’ll stop” don’t just let it go. “That doesn’t answer my question though. Why do you keep doing this?” Keep asking until you get the answer. The real one not the placation.

  37. So you mean there’s no chance, she’s actually just needing space to be by herself for a bit and figure herself out? She categorically said she was going to be loyal to me and definitely wouldn’t be dating. I seeing anyone else. she has an extremely busy schedule and I don’t believe she has the time or willpower to do that.

  38. He said he deleted them all cause he started dating me. I didn’t ask for it. I trust him with his relations. And said i should do the same. And its the right way to do things.

  39. You would be crazy to give her the tickets you bought, if that’s what she’s implying. You could sell them to her I suppose, since it was something she really wanted. If she can’t afford to pay for the tickets you bought then you should go and take someone else with you.

  40. You sound like my ex-husband. His clinical diagnosis was BPD, bipolar, OCD.

    I'm sorry for what you experienced that caused you to become borderline. My ex-husband's childhood and adolescence were hellish, and he took his trauma out on our son and me.

    I hope you are receiving all the help you need to recover from your history of abuse.

  41. Sounds like her “flirty” personality is just her customer service persona/masking. Around you she feels so comfortable that she can take the mask off. This should be the utmost flattering thing a person can do for you. She takes the mask off and shows you her truest self. She doesn’t preform for you. She shouldn’t have to. If that is a deal breaker for you, you should let her know and go your separate ways

  42. Man, I'll never understand the viewpoint of “she lied to me, disrespected me, had a whole affair, was abusive to make it easier to leave for AP but I checked her phone so I'm in the wrong”

    Tell her you know, kick her out and tell anyone who asked she was sleeping around, get some self respect man, damn.

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