How do you think he would feel if it came up later that you never said anything? If you all are usually open with each other I'm sure he would still appreciate your honesty now, even if it hurts his feelings a little. You could say something like “Babe I absolutely LOVE the way you proposed and I can't wait to tell our story for years to come. I especially love how much time and effort you clearly put into making that moment really special. I can't wait to marry you! And while the ring you designed is really beautiful, I always imagined my engagement ring would look like XYZ and would love for it to stand out even next to my grandmother's ring. Would it be okay if we designed something different together?” Or, you know, something shorter lol I just tend to ramble when I'm nervous and I definitely would be having this conversation. Best of luck!
I don’t want to hurt him though. I don’t know how I can be happy again though either. I hate having to explain and justify wanting to go out with friends. If I go out, I have to text him back within 5 minutes or he’s panicking I’m cheating on him. I feel so smothered and I resent him. I don’t know how to fix that or make it better
We did. I was honest with her about my feelings like she always had been with me. I answered all her questions and started making an actual effort with her. I liked her a lot already but I fell in love with her. We always communicate our problems hence why this is such a shock
To a small extent. My partner is very outgoing, and I am much less so. yes, I occasionally feel anxious about his interactions but I've had to do some stern talking to myself about it? Like, I'm willing to stifle a lovely man who people totally love because of MY issue? That's entirely unfair. Perhaps you are simply not compatible if you can't let him be himself? He isn't doing anything wrong, it just isn't to your taste. He shouldn't have to stifle himself when the alternative is you dealing with your social anxiety.
It's all going to be OK. He's three so he will settle into his routine without you soon and going around to see him would just make the break up harder for everyone… including him.
It's likely your ex got him worked up before the video. She wants you to feel guilty for ending things and you shouldn't. He deserves to grow up in a home where a healthy and loving relationship is modeled and if it was going to be a healthy and loving relationship you'd still be there
So be the change ffs. Go on, downvote me. But this BS prudishness doesn't go away by perpetuating it. There is no shame in nudity and being offended or possessive over other people's bodies is a waste of energy.
He has more than likely cheated and is cheating and is mentally leaving the marriage. He also IMO has sexuality issues and is dealing with that. Tell him that you want a divorce, that you are not going to on-line this way and you don't trust him anymore . Leave before you get hurt worse or you get a disease.
It's a sign that you are an aggressive and unhealthy person.
Also, you sound misogynistic because you treat your wife poorly and you cannot “relate” to your daughter (is she an alien???). Unless your daughter sees you as a bully who mistreats mum and wants nothing to do with you.
I doubt you are a good dad to your boys, like you claim, since all of the arguments are about care for the two boys and you end up telling her to fuck herself. She is probably saying you don't really do enough childcare so you tell her to fuck herself. Are you like the fun dad that plays with them, but doesn't feed them, bath them, put clothes on them, does laundry, you know… the boring stuff?
Yes, your shit adds up to divorce. You were a drunk. You have bipolar that's NOT well managed; in what world do you think it is? You yell and insult her on a regular basis. You don't help around the house 50% like you should.
Your warm, open and non-controlling partner has asked you to respect a reasonable boundary and you’re struggling to understand how to say “Excuse me…” and then excuse yourself from an unwanted conversation with a toxic piece of garbage?
I’d kind of expect a 17 year old to struggle with this kind of social situation but not a 27 year old.
Break up and move on
How do you think he would feel if it came up later that you never said anything? If you all are usually open with each other I'm sure he would still appreciate your honesty now, even if it hurts his feelings a little. You could say something like “Babe I absolutely LOVE the way you proposed and I can't wait to tell our story for years to come. I especially love how much time and effort you clearly put into making that moment really special. I can't wait to marry you! And while the ring you designed is really beautiful, I always imagined my engagement ring would look like XYZ and would love for it to stand out even next to my grandmother's ring. Would it be okay if we designed something different together?” Or, you know, something shorter lol I just tend to ramble when I'm nervous and I definitely would be having this conversation. Best of luck!
You don’t have a relationship problem but security issue.
You need to be asking those types of people and subs.
Get more involved in your SO's life and social circle.
I don’t want to hurt him though. I don’t know how I can be happy again though either. I hate having to explain and justify wanting to go out with friends. If I go out, I have to text him back within 5 minutes or he’s panicking I’m cheating on him. I feel so smothered and I resent him. I don’t know how to fix that or make it better
We did. I was honest with her about my feelings like she always had been with me. I answered all her questions and started making an actual effort with her. I liked her a lot already but I fell in love with her. We always communicate our problems hence why this is such a shock
To a small extent. My partner is very outgoing, and I am much less so. yes, I occasionally feel anxious about his interactions but I've had to do some stern talking to myself about it? Like, I'm willing to stifle a lovely man who people totally love because of MY issue? That's entirely unfair. Perhaps you are simply not compatible if you can't let him be himself? He isn't doing anything wrong, it just isn't to your taste. He shouldn't have to stifle himself when the alternative is you dealing with your social anxiety.
But how many hours a week does OP have to listen? For example is it okay for OP to say they will listen for say, one hour one time per week?
It's all going to be OK. He's three so he will settle into his routine without you soon and going around to see him would just make the break up harder for everyone… including him.
It's likely your ex got him worked up before the video. She wants you to feel guilty for ending things and you shouldn't. He deserves to grow up in a home where a healthy and loving relationship is modeled and if it was going to be a healthy and loving relationship you'd still be there
So be the change ffs. Go on, downvote me. But this BS prudishness doesn't go away by perpetuating it. There is no shame in nudity and being offended or possessive over other people's bodies is a waste of energy.
He has more than likely cheated and is cheating and is mentally leaving the marriage. He also IMO has sexuality issues and is dealing with that. Tell him that you want a divorce, that you are not going to on-line this way and you don't trust him anymore . Leave before you get hurt worse or you get a disease.
Whether it’s official yet or not, it definitely sounds like the end. The fat lady might not be singing, but she’s clearing her throat.
It's a sign that you are an aggressive and unhealthy person.
Also, you sound misogynistic because you treat your wife poorly and you cannot “relate” to your daughter (is she an alien???). Unless your daughter sees you as a bully who mistreats mum and wants nothing to do with you.
I doubt you are a good dad to your boys, like you claim, since all of the arguments are about care for the two boys and you end up telling her to fuck herself. She is probably saying you don't really do enough childcare so you tell her to fuck herself. Are you like the fun dad that plays with them, but doesn't feed them, bath them, put clothes on them, does laundry, you know… the boring stuff?
Yes, your shit adds up to divorce. You were a drunk. You have bipolar that's NOT well managed; in what world do you think it is? You yell and insult her on a regular basis. You don't help around the house 50% like you should.
She has 4 kids and you are one angry teenager.
Well. If you have experience on AITA, you know that “welcoming the sister that is fleeing a bad relationship” is code for big trouble ahead.
Your BF watches to much porn
Your warm, open and non-controlling partner has asked you to respect a reasonable boundary and you’re struggling to understand how to say “Excuse me…” and then excuse yourself from an unwanted conversation with a toxic piece of garbage?
I’d kind of expect a 17 year old to struggle with this kind of social situation but not a 27 year old.