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1. I don't think the amount of help she's asking from you is something that she can expect without asking you first.

   However, if you want to move past this I would still be very gentle in telling her no.

   You mention that your other kid needed help until he was 35 and that's one of the reasons you're too burned out to start raising more kids (which is more than fair).

   Yet, she might feel that now her brother is independent it's finally time for her to get more TLC.

   You're in a better position than me to judge if she ever felt she needed to go without because of her brother.

   If she did, I would make sure to talk about that as well when you tell her no, to not enhance any lingering feelings of her being less worthy of your time.

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