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annaceleste, 24 y.o.
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Date: September 24, 2022
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I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate, some people do this and it’s fine. But personally I’ve never been comfortable being nude around my kids. The reality of parenting means sometimes one is hot in front of them, but I always have kind of treated it like being with a friend in a gym locker, ie look away and be quick and discrete.
I did I told him how it made me feel and he said “I know you have self esteem issues but it was just a joke”
Lol!
Its fine to ask. But it should be fine for them to say no. And it’s also fine for you to break up if the do say no.
There is no line. It’s up to you personally. Just as its up to your partner to not be with you if they think you are being unreasonable by demanding no contact with an ex that lives in another country.
The key thing is that you need to be clear in what are actions (A) you will not accept, and what are actions (B) you would prefer not to happen, but you won’t break up with them.
If something is a (B), once you’ve communicated your preference and the other person doesn’t accept, then you should move forward and accept/learn to deal with it.
(In your case, my personal opinion is, I don’t see where there is reason to have a problem with being friends with an ex that lives in another country and there is no doubt the relationship is over. What are you jealous of exactly? What are you afraid will happen?)
My ex used to make fun of my weight and more for 3 years. Took me 10 to get my confidence back and stop hearing his voice in my head.
As long as she doesn't care your lesbian friend helps and gives thoughtful insight to your box brief choices there shouldn't be a problem. I would ask her after you and your friend wake from your nap.
Move on. There can be a hundred different explanations, but the fact is that she's cut contact with you. She's given you the classic “It's not you, it's me” brush off.
If she gets back in touch in 3 days, weeks, months, years, then respond from where you are in that moment.
Please get an STI/STD tests. I wouldn’t trust her about using protection. Also, have a consultation with a lawyer just so you can get the full picture of what divorce will cost/look like so you know more from a finalized and legal standpoint. It doesn’t mean you have to go through with it right away but it’ll help give you a timeline.
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She's taking advantage of you and using your money for herself and she deflecting by blaming it all on you.
He doesn't respect or value you. 2. That's cheating. 3. Break up. Really. He's a little shit.
I agree with that but for both of us it’s a way of life too. The issue isn’t as much with the families as it is with our own beliefs. When I mention families I am referring to potential children in the future (it may be a ways off but still a factor) and how they will be raised.
There are lots of women out there that don't post thirst traps and see that as a reasonable boundary in a relationship.
There are lots of guys out there who are 100% cool with their partner being nude on the internet.
Maybe you guys are better off finding those people.
You BOTH need couple's therapy NOW. You don't know how this event will propagate in your psyche if left untended. You are angry, and she is probably also angry. Whther justified or not, you both need to learn to on-line with this reality, and she needs to understand what she's done BEFORE you can forgive her.
Hassling a female about her relationship status in the street is unwelcome attention and inappropriate.
Nothing worth salvaging, and no, his parents aren't great people.
You've got your head on straight and the biggest problem I can see is that if you have any integrity at all then you'd get the hell away from someone like this. Now you just have to follow through.
that whole I'm-not-doing-it-because-i-want-to-see-if-they'll-do-it-first thing is so annoying. which is why she found you as annoying as you did. the only way to win the game is to not play it.
you dont own her, but thats gross as fuck. move on
She's quite against counselling or therapy but I will look for someone whom we could talk to.
Regarding changing our mind, she feels she's at the precipice and soon won't be able to have more children. That would for her be even worse if I change my mind because it implies I could leave her (if she hasn't left me yet) for a younger women.
This is not okay, and not your fault that your wife is physically violent. I grew up in a turbulent household – I never saw my parents hit eachother but I could hear their arguments and yelling even if they were in the other room – often they wouldn’t even leave if my brother and I were there. That shit was traumatizing in of itself and I can only imagine what your kids are going through right now. Sadly, with the vast majority of abusive partners and especially physical abuse, it doesn’t get better – it only gets worse with more manipulation to beat down the victim into staying and putting up with it. The statistics for abusive relationships actually spike after marriage because then it’s harder for the victim to leave and the abuser recognizes that. Your kids are learning at a young age that this is how partners treat eachother. They don’t know right from wrong and look to their parents for support and guidance. What would you think if your son or daughter came to you after being physically abused by their partner?
I agree with the mod from the abuse subreddit in denying counseling with your wife for the reasons they stated. I watched it happen with my parents and it was sad, because my dad now had a support because of his manipulation to the therapist so he kept getting worse towards my mom and my mom kept getting more and more broken down. Things only got better after their divorce. Get resources and record everything that happens – sadly, as a man, authorities are less likely to believe you especially if your wife turns around the situation. Call the police the next time this happens, you don’t have to press charges, but just file a report so there’s future evidence.
I’m gonna leave you with one last thing to think about. Your kids have already witnessed this and are smarter than you think, especially emotionally. They’ve already seen and are processing (or at least your oldest) a traumatic event, and are teaching them (especially the youngest) that this is okay and just the way things are. What are they going to do when they get upset now at others? Well, don’t be surprised if they start hitting them because of the image their parents are setting for them. This hasn’t even been a 1 time occurrence. You grew up in a violent household, and while the violence may not be directed at them (for now), it still fucks with their tiny brains because they are witnessing a traumatic event and you are continuing the cycle. Leave your wife, don’t be lenient on this – especially if you’ve threatened divorce before, she’s going to see it as an empty threat and will continue because she doesn’t think you’ll actually go through with it. This isn’t just about you, and while you should take yourself into higher consideration than you already are, it’s also about your kids. Please – I’m saying this as a child of divorce of parents in an abusive relationship – for your own and your kids physical, mental, and emotional safety, leave. Be the parent for them that you didn’t get.
The truth is that he's insecure that you had better sex with the others and I'm not sure what more you can do about it than you already are. Maybe he needs a counsellor of some sort. Or an older role model to tell him not to fuck this up.
Please link your degree in psychology, with focus on the male species to make this statement… or, did you just pull that out of your ass?
no lol he was born a dude and then decided at age 25 he wanted to be a she
Yeah, stop waiting around for a proposal like a Regency lady. Take control, sis!
May need some serious talk here about your relation. Living above your means will get you into trouble very soon. If her happiness depends entirely on the $$$ you spend on her, she sees you just as a biodegradable ATM….
In that case, time to move on.
They shouldnt be moving in together at this point.
I don’t have an explanation for you, but the exact same thing happened to me. I ultimately went on the fishing trip and I’ve never heard the end of it for years. Every time one of us needs to go to the airport I get reminded of the fishing trip.
Do future you a favor and just skip golfing.
Thank you for good advice. How long did you go through this?