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  1. this is going to be an unpopular opinion, and i'm not in any of your relationships, so really i don't know anyone else's situation. for me personally, the only reason you ever need “proof” of someone cheating is for legal reasons in a divorce.

  2. Yeah, stop having sex outside of marriage. I'd reckon that you are seeing demons manifest through her. Even if it isn't that, you don't want to mar your conscious. If it seems wrong, don't do it. There is a reason you have a conscious, listen to it.

  3. Call a lawyer and prepare divorce papers Find a new place. Go with the divorce Never have contact again. Enjoy not having to see his ugly face anymore

  4. There's the tiniest chance that he could find out if my friend tells her brother (because they know each other) but I doubt she would.

  5. Forreal, I wonder how all those men would feel knowing all of their pregnant SOs were out having that kind of party

  6. u/vllaugisht, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

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  7. Do you mind saying what country you are from as I’m trying to get some cultural perspective on the story/relationship? However where I come from this seems like extremely abusive and manipulative behavior on his end. Breaking up with someone, with the intention of having them crawl back to you is called gaslighting. Also why stay in an intimate long term relationship with someone you aren’t sexually attracted to? Have you heard of the happy little death? It really makes a man and woman closer in a relationship. Based on your story I’d assume you’ve never been with a real man in your entire life, you’ve been with a scared little boy who targeted you as a child. Regardless of what you do make the decision with your own heart, mind, and future at the forefront.

  8. That's what. He did apologize a few times for that though as he doesn't know those people. He also said he would have planned something just for us but he doesn't want me to feel pressurized or awkward as we are new

  9. You should not marry people who are sending explicit photos to somebody else while you're still boyfriend and girlfriend/engaged.

    I'm sure he isn't lying when he says he loves you.

    He can love you and also participate in behavior that is unattractive to you or unbecoming of him, morally.

  10. it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!

    Created Jun 14, 2009

    you are throwing insults from your account and when you goto you post history you can see that you in fact are not perfect. so that expression fits perfectly 🙂

    you are throwing stones at imperfect people when they can see that you are not perfect,

  11. I would honestly want to do the same.

    But I think you would have to be prepared for the flak and the shitstorm that would descend upon you. Though it sounds like it's already coming down on you.

    Honestly, just cancel and have divorce papers served instead. This situation sounds so awful.

  12. Do you think telling others is a bit of an extreme measure if I'm not 100% certain she knew? I understand could harm others, but I don't wanna ruin her reputation without being 100% certain.

  13. Can you stick to one account because blocking each new one of yours is exhausting. I mean this is the 2nd account today alone!

  14. It's easy to be black and white with other people's lives, I want op to have tools to understand and explain their difficult situation that will help inform their decision

  15. Mickey Mouse is getting the naked action whenever you leave the house. Your bedroom is mostly dead. Have you tried any counseling? Your wife might have a porn addiction.

  16. Unfortunately, love is not enough for a successful healthy relationship. Love is the foundation that its built on, it is necessary but not sufficient. You also need compatibility. The unfortunate truth is that you are not compatible. You want to have sex and that is ok! It is absolutely not “selfish!!” Just like anything else – we exist in relationships with needs and wants – that's not selfish that's just life! I feel like you already know this but this relationship is not going to work. It's time to end it.

    I know how you're feeling. You love her so much, can't imagine life without her. You are 21 years old. If I had to guess this is the first serious fully in love, “adult” relationship you've had. I've been there. You're so safe and comfortable with this person you don't want to give it up, and you don't think it can be replicated – it can. I promise. You will eventually find someone who you both love and are compatible with. But that's not the priority. The priority now is ending this relationship and healing from it. That likely means cutting contact. It also means spending time with friends and family, doing things you love, picking up a new hobby maybe, working out, reading a book etc. You will be very sad for a little and then you will be less sad and less sad and you'll be ok. It's a cliche but time truly does heal all wounds, but you have to rip the bandaid off.

    Plus waiting until marriage is honestly a pretty horrible idea! Sexual compatibility is important for a relationship – how do you know you have it if you don't have sex before marriage?

  17. Do you think that it’s too soon to tell him I no longer think we should be friends? I just asked for NC yesterday.

  18. Just because she isn’t visibly breaking down and crying doesn’t mean she didn’t love him as much and doesn’t mean she isn’t grieving.

    Also, you said your late wife was an incredible person. Do you really think she wouldn’t want you to find love and your children to find a mother figure to make cookies with? Would she want her legacy to be sadness and grief?

    Definitely go to therapy. Good luck!

  19. I’m sorry OP but he married you because he needed a housewife/babysitter. It didn’t hurt that you’re young, in fact that’s exactly what he was looking for. You should definitely leave. ASAP. Arrange a dorm or find some students looking for a roommate, but sooner is best. He’s using you.

  20. Let me tell you something. Do NOT let guilt paralyze you. I have, and I regret having done so. Guilt is a sign of your conscience being very much alive. That in itself isn't a bad thing. But also, unchecked guilt can and will cripple you.

    If you let it run its course, you may go on for YEARS without ever reconnecting, even though you want to. I promise you, it's a direct shortcut to inaction.

    Do you know how to break that cycle? Message her tonight at the latest. No excuses. No delays. No mitigating factor. Do it tonight and no later, and you will do yourself a huge favor.

    There is a special type of anxiety that you can develop (or at least, that was my experience) when you're stuck in a guilt loop over ghosting a close friend. I don't know if you're already in it, but you cannot allow it to take over you. It's painful, and very distracting.

    You're strong, OP. Not least for surviving and besting your DV relationship. You've shown your strength to yourself before. Now is the time to summon that strength back. Make this right with your friend. I promise, it will feel entirely different after you clear the air. You will feel a hundred times better.

    You can do it!

  21. She’s quitting so he CAN’T BREAKUP with her

    That's an assumption made of his side of the story, and he isn't even giving the whole story made in other posts.

  22. “Deeply connect” and “bored” are mutually exclusive, so pick one. You obviously don't need any reason to end a newish relationship like this. But don't kid yourself that you're truly bonded with this person. This just didn't work out. Most things don't. It's just not a big deal.

  23. To be fair, going into a city is not the only way to be adventurous. He's not interested in that kind of adventure. It sounds like he wants to do outdoor adventures and honestly, those are way more adventurous in my opinion, but then again, I'm like OP's BF and don't really care for cities either.

  24. I'm not yo-yo, so I don't generally stick with wishy-washy people…. It'd depend on the actual reason why he changed his mind over the course of 4 days.. I would have a naked time believing he worked on himself enough to be ready for a relationship over the course of 4 days.

  25. I mean, the flip side to that is handing it over and possibly breaking up if they're offended by the lack of trust.

  26. You’re both too old for this nonsense. Don’t waste your youth on someone who won’t stand up for you.

    My golden rule is this: Ask yourself what you would do if the roles were reversed. If you wouldn’t treat him the same, walk away.

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