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Dianna, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 20, 2022
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Depending on where you online everything you've both got might already be considered joint marital assets anyway (unless you've got a prenup). You may also own half of her student loan debt, again depending on the laws where you live. Not sure what “de-combine” means when all you've described is just the typical bill sharing that most couples do. You should already be paying half the monthly expenses. You don't need to sever all your combined accounts and such for you to just step up and pay your fair share. It shouldn't require something dramatic for you to just pay your half of the bills. This is all confusing. But good luck.
What’s the point of being big if you aren’t going to defend pregnant women from dangerous maniacs?
Should you let something that bothers you bother you? Yes, you can't stop it bothering you. The behavior you described where he avoided dealing with it in a mature way and got drunk, that's as mature as it's likely to get. There are limits to what some people can achieve, and unfortunately you are likely meeting those limits for him. Like someone else advised, you need some time apart, to learn how other people live!, and to see how other communities operate. I feel like for you there have been things that have been normalized, that you just accept as the way things are for everyone, that are not healthy. If he's resistant to the idea of you being away for a while to learn new things, then he's keeping something from you he has no right to.