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Dulce, 26 y.o.
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Date: September 13, 2022
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She was very respectful about it maybe not move in with her but probably ask her out on a date
I was in similar position and had the mental courage after 9 years to leave and prioritise myself and my health and make the most of my life experiences before I grew older. Best decision of my life and I’ve met a partner 2 years later that enjoys the same things and new experiences with me. So many new memories made and so little were formed in the past that I barely remember why I was with him looking back now all those years
She is not the one.
You've given me a serious insight here, as I've been trying to organize and declutter and realizing that I literally have fifteen jars of my favorite nut butter and a cabinet packed with canned goods and pasta packages that I never touch. I remember my grandparents on one side, both from families heavily impacted by the great depression, had a garage full of cabinets of snacks and candies, and very rarely we'd be allowed some, but it was always stale because they'd but it on discount already nearly expired and they never got rid of anything. My mom didn't go to that extent but having “special” food sit untouched until it was either bad or just not as tasty was normal. I never remotely approached food insecurity as a kid so it didn't occur to me the two could be related, but when I step back they so clearly are…
He did the right thing. He loves you like a sister, he was easy letting you down bc he cares. Just let him know that u understand his position and maybe Apologize for misinterpreting the situation, itll be ok.
Thank you for your response. I want to add I was an only child until I was 7. Thinking back to the conversation I think what made me feel shocked was how it was laughed at and she didn’t feel bad about doing it. Almost as if it was normal?
I don’t want her to feel guilty about it and I have no animosity towards her, but I do not find it funny and I would rather not laugh about such things. She had postpartum depression so I know she didn’t have an easy time.
Things are better today. He senses im hurting and I’m trying to level my mind and come back to the problem. He’s still being affectionate and helped me clean the house this morning.
That was my guess. She doesn't even realize she's acting like this.
Should you use lube? Of course you should. Even as someone that hasn’t been a virgin for a while, I can’t imagine going without lube
Why are you accepting it?
If you don’t have enough self confidence to expect better then they don’t believe it either.
You are an ego boost for attention. They realize you will provide it for free.
Have you spoken to him about it?
I actually graduated have high school when I was 17. We got married 7 months after I graduated, 4 months after I turned 18.
I’m genuinely sorry to come off as a dick here as it’s really not my intention, but I had to go back and check your age, because I’m again surprised that you’re 26 years old.
We’re even ignoring the “bro-code” here which to be honest I didn’t even want to waste time focusing on, but now I’m going to; does he know? Would he be ok with it
Reality here is that you didn’t reach out to her out of kindness; you wanted to make a move. You can deny it if you want but logically no one’s going to believe you.
Just put things into perspective. To be honest, the very reason this stands out so much is because of the blunt 180 you pulled.
You’re chatting chatting chatting. How’s your family? Great. How do you feel about communication? People often misconstrue what I’m about to say.
Want to send nudes? She said no. You tried again and she said no. How exactly are you surprised? She never indicated she was into you.
But remember that is the best case scenario, you only heard that phrase you don't know more but her deleting it is kinda strange I would try to talk more about what happened and try to talk with that friend
Prior to this job, did you quit the last one for the same reason? Did you quit before having a job lined up?
To be clear, I’m ultimately on your side here, but I want all the facts so that I can give you the most accurate advice.
There’s a reason he’s dating someone 11 years younger than him. It’s because a woman his age isn’t going to put up with his immature bullshit.
From our last conversation it definitely isn’t going to happen anytime soon, I can’t say he never wants to get married because he didn’t say that. Our future plans mesh good (Atleast previous to this new job he’s getting) I wouldn’t be able to transfer my job, so I’d have to start over and possibly not even be in the same career field.
Do not put your aspirations aside for him by choosing a lesser school or bypassing opportunities. It sounds like he's comfortable where he is and while there isn't anything wrong with that -for him- that isn't the same thing you want. You can tell him before the trip and have him try to change your mind or break up and cancel the trip or you can look at the trip as a last goodbye and not tell him until afterwards. Whatever you do though, if I were you I would double down on any birth control and make sure what you do use has no way to be tampered with.
Then you simply aren't compatible. You have no future with them.
I usually date people older than me but i took a chance with her… Never again!
This isn't kindness, it's an exclusive emotional relationship. Completely exclusive. “He trusts me with his life. Nobody else.”
Choose you boo. I hate to tell you this but what you already know is true— your partner isn’t stable with employment and that might be a forever thing. It’s ok if that’s the price of admission you are willing to pay to be with him— but all the more reason not to sacrifice your opportunities. I’d go, tell him he should stay at the bank for 6 months and re-evaluate then. I’d postpone the wedding if possible- unless he’s agreeing to come join you in X city after a reasonable amount of time. No one is wrong here, but you need to do what’s best.