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1. First of all there are no “inappropriate romantic feelings”. Feelings are feelings they are never inappropriate. Only actions can be inappropriate.

   You say you ghosted her and why ghosting might not be the right move and a conversation would have been better, haing some distance between you and a woman you have feelings for but does not reciprocate them is the right thing to do. Why would you “be friends” with her while you are hurting every time you see her. Better have some distance until you are over it. If you only wanted sex it would be not as bad being around her. That you felt the need to get distance actually shows that is was not only sex that you wanted if you think about it a little.

   The best thing to do her is certainly NOT to be friends. You have feelings and had them for a very long time. If you keep seeing her this will hurt. If she gets a bf this will hurt you like shit. You can't be a good friend to a woman that you actually are in love with. This does not work! Since this goes on for a while you clearly will not get over this while being in contact. Also think about you finding a gf one day. She might notice that there is something and she might ask you to stop being in contact with that woman.

   So here is my actual advice. You call her and ask her out on an actual real date and you make clear that its a date. If she sais no you tell her “Look I had feelings for you for years now and I had to get some distance when you got together with my friend. Even after that time apart the feelings were still there. I am sorry but I cannot be your friend right now and if you are not interested in anything else its fine. I need some distance for at least a while to get over this and then MAYBE we can go back to being friends.”

   The one that that is totally NOT appropriate is to be in love with her and force yourself to be her friend. This is not fair to yourself. This is not fair to your future girlfriends. This also is not fair to her because you can't be a good friend and give her good unbiased advice if needed.

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2. Hello /u/bordeen,

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3. Pay your half of the bills and not a penny more. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm. If she can’t save money then tough luck honey, that’s life. Maybe this will motivate her to get her shit together

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4. Never said one negative thing about the other women on the team. His GF wants to be in that locker room.

   Yes your partners feelings 100% matter in a relationship. She can take his feelings into account and choose to make the accommodation or decline based on her own reasons. If she declines then he can choose if he is ok with that. So it comes down to each persons feelings matter and each one chooses what they can accommodate. Either their relationships works and they are compatible or they have different values and are at the end of their relationship. Personally I would choose to not accommodate because requests rooted in insecure jealousy is something I personally am not compatible with. That would indicate to me that I’m not with a person who shares my same values. But that is me, my boundary is to not accommodate requests rooted in baseless jealousy. But everyone has different boundaries and values. Currently seems like OP and his GF are misaligned.

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5. why aren’t you there with him, though? you can surely get backstage access even in the green room or whatever is there to hang out. my wife is a mixed materials artist and I attend every vernissage.

   not being judgmental; but if his practical needs are met and he’s lucky enough to be financially unburdened, and he loves what he is doing, what’s the problem? that’s a wonderful thing to have in a partner

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6. In this case I agree. The person posts the original two days ago and never responds to anyone and the posts and “update” and still no replies.

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