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  1. Thank you for all your posts, this is how I feel to. So many comments made me realise this is so difficult for me because as a society we based all the value on money because capitalism and by all the answers I get a good overlook on different opinions and some are more on my husband side, some are more what I think and believe.

    I just wanted to add that all these posts made me also think about family backgrounds we both have, because I was provided more through my family and when we met he had no income but started working really very hot and learned to code and now after a few different jobs he works for a good and fair pay. And I do the same things I did when we met and I believe he thinks that because he made a bigger leap from no income to high income he now feels I didnt follow in his steps.

    But from my perspective. When he moved in with me I did 90% od all the chores on the yearly basis and I also work. That being said. I provided the time he needed to learn to code with doing most of the chores most of the time so I was left with way less time to be able to code. Now there are some super people out there who would be able to learn to code after working & doing most of the chores but I am not one of them because I also need sleep.

    He said many times that he would take higher chore load if I learned to code but when he sees me doing the dishes and cleaning he never says – go learn to code and I will do this things today but he has this you have to show me first that you want to learn attitude before I start helping you by making more chores and it is a wishious circle.

    *disclaimer: we are from a lower BDP country which means that coders, who can work for companies in other countries,… are paid more than doctors who are the highest salary in public sector. What I do is public sector and I am payed minimum wage, and he gets pay an enormous amount even considering other jobs in our country for a less than 40 hours work/week.

  2. There is no middle ground.

    Let him know this is not acceptable and if he continues, you may allow him to go forward alone

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