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  1. Open relationship require massive amounts of communication. Start there. Talk about what you both imagine it could look like, what you hope to gain, what makes you concerned. Read books about it. Discuss what you’ve read and how it impacts all of the stuff you discussed previously. Keep talking until you’re both comfortable. Then prepare to make mistakes and discuss all that too.

  2. What an evil, horrible, manipulative person. I went through a similar incident to this. It took me several times to leave the abuser and when I finally did after he went to jail, he bailed out and broke into my new house I moved into while I was gone and stole my belongings. He threatened to kill me, something I never thought would happen. I called the cops and they FAVORED him and kicked me out of my new house because he photoshopped his name onto my mailing address. You got lucky. This was in a different state. I ended up getting a temporary restraining order and then a permanent one. Looking back, I know why you are torn, but I’m five years past that incident and I feel lucky to be alive and I can tell you that you need to get the fuck away from this person and get a protective order.

  3. Set the boundary! Or boundaries I should say. I don’t think a general line of don’t touch me at home is doable exactly, as some people like more physical touch than others BUT having the boundary that you don’t want to be fondled while you are working, or you don’t like certain types of touch or you want to be asked before being touched are all valid. My husband still asks if he can kiss me/hug me/lean up against me when we have not been cuddling already because he knows I’m not ok with being pawed at.

  4. Spitting at or on someone is a MASSIVE disrespect. I'd personally consider being punched in the face far less of an offence than someone spitting in my face. This is absolutely disgusting for many reasons. This is a proper “end relationship” action. With that one action, she's told you what she really thinks of you. In my opinion, there's no walking this one back. Ugh. I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. My best advise, leave her and find someone who respects you and won't do something so foul.

  5. If telling him you're not a virgin ruins your relationship then he's not worth being with. But why didn't you correct him the first time he assumed you were? How do you know he's not a virgin but he doesn't know you're not? You're not a virgin. Oh well. If that makes you incompatible then you've dodged a bullet by breaking up now because a man that obsesses over taking your virginity then gets mad that you're not a virgin isn't exactly a good dude.

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