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Date: October 12, 2022
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You’re hearing the call for therapy. This is long overdue. But here’s what I see as another issue. The parents. Cut the sister off!
Mary feels entitled and arrogant. She’s been allowed to do this her entire life only because the parents allowed it.
You need to sit them down. Now! Explain and get their feedback and a solution. If they do not support and have your back, you cut the entire family off. Protect your wife!
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would of given you different advice when you were first dating your wife but im not sure what steps you’ve take prior to this incident to support and protect your marriage from her sister if any.
Your wife can’t recover while around her sister. Cut the sister off! No text! No social media! Period!
It wouldn’t be an open marriage. It’d be a one sided fuck fest for you and still nothing for him. He’d truly be miserable then and every time you left he’d resent you for being w other men.
I think there are a lot of steps between no sex and open marriage or divorce. Either divorce him because you can’t be in a roommate marriage any longer or have a serious conversation w him. Tell him you can’t continue a marriage that has no intimacy in it. That you’d rather divorce and find someone who would want to have sex w you rather then be a roommate.
My wife & I have had sex issues over our 32 years but there was never the thought of open marriage or divorce. There’s no way I could handle my wife w another man nor would I handle that ultimatum well at all.
I broke my back years ago and nerve damage left me w ED. Took years to find a fix to my problem. If she would have given me that ultimatum then I’d have left.
You’re right sex shouldn’t be a chore, shouldn’t have to beg and we shouldn’t have a lack of intimacy.
Talk to him and tell him that you can’t continue w no sex. You don’t want pity sex and you want true intimacy from HIM. If he cannot give you that, won’t seek a drs help or therapy etc the. Tell him he gives you no choice but to divorce him. I could respect my wife a lot more if she told me that rather than open marriage or divorce. I’d hate to let her go but I would understand she needs something I can’t give her. I’m not your husband and don’t know why he doesn’t want you sexually. But I did everything in my power to keep my wife happy when my member didn’t work.
I used my hands, mouth, toys etc to keep our sex life going. I didn’t want her to suffer because I was suffering. Oh and I’ve been between 270 & 300lbs for a decade and she’s 230 or so. So I can understand weight being an issue but it’s not stopping us. Slowed down maybe at 50 & 51 yo but we manage a happy sex life.
As man who has dealt w embarrassment of ED, I’ve felt useless , worthless and even though she showed me every day I didn’t feel my wife was attracted to me. Looking back I know she did and still does but ED screws up a man’s head.
Maybe he’s dealing with ED and doesn’t want to tell you. Before the ultimatum talk to him and see if he’ll open up. Give him one last opportunity to talk to you and then if not then your mismatched libido’s will cause a divorce.