How do I (33F) safely communicate without offending my partner (28M) of 2 years, that it’s unfair that when he cums the show is over and I’m denied an orgasm afterwards.


Edit: I'm not asking to burn my relationship to the ground. I want to be able to have an open, non judgmental conversation on the topic so we can come to an understanding that we both agree on and grow from this experience. There's been some really good advice by a couple of people which has given me the confidence and idea in how to approach this civilly… And if that doesn't work THEN we can watch the world burn 🙂

I've been with my partner for over 2 years and it's only in the last 6 months he's been slacking off with my needs and essentially using me as a human sex doll. At first it was just here and there which didn't bother me too much, but now it's more frequent as it's becoming a habit.

To the point he jumps in the shower with me unexpectedly, does the thing and runs off as soon as he ejaculates just as I was getting warmed up. It's now even happening in bed, I find it kind of unfair that I'm expected to just sit there awkwardly with 'blue flaps' because I couldn't climax fast enough for him and then he rolls over in bed and then resumes watching TV or does stuff on his phone. And due to my work schedule and him being home all the time I'm home, I rarely get opportunity or the privacy to self service. So I'm just really sexually frustrated all the time now. Whereas he works a lot less hours than I and has hours everyday for "me" time.

I want to communicate that it's not fair that he gets to climax and I don't if he reaches there first. I know if it was the other way around it wouldn't fly unless I withdrew consent which I know he would respect… But I don't have a desire to do that as I quite enjoy our sex – despite this recent thing.

I feel I'm too old to tolerate that in a committed long term relationship, and we are mature enough to have this discussion. I just don't want to offend him as I have no problem with him cumming first… I just want to be able to climax too even if he's done. It's not like he's bad at it, it's more I'm on medication now that takes me a bit longer to get there if you get my drift.

Like do I just offer to finish off myself or what? I don't know how to open this conversation without him potentially taking it the wrong way and getting defensive that he's inadequate.

Our relationship is perfect in everyway otherwise and I'd love to eventually marry him. This is just been bothering me lately as I feel my sexual needs are being neglected.

submitted by /u/TheLegendOfSpongebob
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Date: September 27, 2023

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