Husband 33M made me cut my hair because I 32F hugged my Dad


Today I went with my Husband (married 8 years) and kids to pick up some papers from my Dad. My Dad had an allergic reaction to wool that he got a few weeks ago and he is currently on steroids to help it. The rash is on his arm and it is still very visible. When I saw my Dad I gave him a light hug with one arm to greet him.

When I got back in the car my husband lectured me for 10 minutes straight about how I gave my dad the biggest hug in the world and how his arm touched my hair. He said that my hair is one of the few things he like about me and that he was disgusted and I ruined the whole month for him.

He shamed me in front of our 4 kids. He enjoys doing this ??‍♀️ Anyways I ended up having to cut my very long hair because he made such a big deal about my dads arm touching my hair.

He said I was risking the kids lives by hugging my dad. When we got home he made me shower right away with dish soap, and he threw away the clothes I was wearing. Then I had to cut my hair etc etc.

Just having a really crappy day and need to vent. Was he overreacting as much as I think he is, or am I being too sensitive and compliant?

Thanks for listening!

People throw around the word abusive so freely so I didn’t want to jump there, but this is really wearing on my heart.

EDIT: Thank you to all those who are giving sincere advice. I am very controlled physically by him, so much so that it’s compromised all of my relationships to nothing. ISOLATION. So I don’t get out of the house except maybe 2x per month, and some months not at all. This has distorted my view of other relationships and has layer the foundation for abuse, which I was unaware of at first. Being around just 1 adult 99% of the time and that adult is not one with a sound mind apparently, takes a toll on a person. Please be patient with me as I process this new perspective and make a plan to act on it.

submitted by /u/ThrowRApastapartner
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Date: September 27, 2023

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