I 30f ‘helped’ my ex’s 35m, new girlfriend 19f end her pregnancy and have now taken her in, but I am getting a lot of backlash from his ‘community’


First I would like to say, I have no jealousy or contempt for this girl. And she is a girl to me. A child. My ex did cheat with her but she was not aware at the time, and I extricated my self from the situation when she was made aware, with only a single message over Insta to her, that “Cheaters don’t change. If he did it to me he’ll do it to you. Let me know if you ever need to talk.” I sent that message last September. This January I receive a message that said “I don’t have anyone. He’s the worst. Are you available (paraphrased slightly.)

She came to me. She was pregnant. She stayed in the basement suite of my home, and two weeks later I helped her to end the pregnancy, and since encourage her to start therapy. She is not on speaking terms with her family at all.

We got along well enough that I wrote up a simple tenancy and she’d been staying for 500 a month since.

I am childfree, but I feel very strongly for her. In an oddly maternal way. I introduced her to my family. She’s of a similar age to my youngest sister and they get along well. Recently, I’ve helped her apply to colleges.

The issue starts that recently ‘the ex’ found out she aborted the pregnancy. Apparently she told one of my sisters friends who is the sibling of my ex’s closest friend ?. He has since been harassing me on all socials. Calling me all the grotesque things that you can think of. Creating new socials to do so also. His mother called me to harass me for ending her grandchild because I’m a heartless woman who hates children, (because I’m childfree), and that just because I want to be a “useless” (childfree) woman, doesn’t me I need to destroy my ex’s “line”.


It’s effecting my work also, because recently my amazing boss retired and was replaced by a snivelling AH… who is extremely conservative, and has seen the social media post and has brought it up to me on lunch breaks. I wouldn’t be surprised if he attempts to let me go in a sideways way for it.

I’ve also noticed a few of my friends have pulled away, thinking up helping her out of spite now…And asking me why I ‘got involved’.

I’m just tired.

I’m not legally adept for my age, in all honesty…and I’ve been under a lot of stress and been struggling with my own mental health and this is just a lot right now. I just need some advice going forward.

How should I broach this topic with friends, without saying to much? How do I deal with my boss (hr is crap)…

I’m just lost…And tired. And at the moment I’m glad it’s mostly directed at me because apparently he hasn’t contacted her. And I’m worried about him contacting her, she’s finally doing well.

submitted by /u/ThrowRAolivetreee
[link] [comments]

Date: September 25, 2023

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *