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1. I don’t care that your dad “lives in a different state”, unless that is a euphemism for in jail or another state of being that is out of phase with this universe, he needs to get his big boy pants on & help! Your sister is in or heading to a crisis!

   Please learn your crisis options for when your sister has an episode that is dangerous to herself or others. I know she’d never harm a fly – if she was stable- but she’s not & you need to prepare yourself with what resources are available to her.

   I’m not talking smack about mentally ill people, but paranoid added on to whatever psychosis she has is really bad.

   Like letting your child starve rather than feed her something you didn’t see prepared or drink milk from a cup from a Starbucks because it wasn’t a sealed bottle. Or leaving your 1 year old kid in a stroller on a sidewalk (in a scary part of town) so you can take your infant into an apartment to assault your boyfriend with the soft headed infant in your arms.

   Or thinking your baby is a clone meant to replace you, so you cut off your own arm & then try multiple times to kill your baby. Then later stabbing your step dad because he might have eaten your hamburger (which he’d probably poisoned anyway).

   Or finding a knife & stabbing someone because it was there & the voices told you to.

   All of these are real examples. So yeah, it doesn’t happen in every situation, but being on appropriate medication can prevent a lot & in the meantime you need an appropriate response prepared in case she has a bad episode.

   Your precious sister is still in there, you might see her again once she’s effectively medicated (which can take awhile).

   In terms of your relationship…. Even once your sister is stable, or even in care, you will get middle of the night phone calls, you might find yourself in the car trolling neighborhoods to try & spot her on the streets. Is this something your fiancé could handle once you’ve stopped financially supporting your sister? This is your life unless you completely cut your sister off in every way (which I’m not advocating for).

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2. Did the two of you disclose every relationship you had prior to one another? If not, what’s the problem here? His actions with his friends wife were not unethical. The frequent visitor is his friend, not the ex who he slept with. So there’s no blurry relationship with the friend who visits.

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