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Leo, 18 y.o.
Location: New Jersey, United States
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Date: January 5, 2023
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It’s honestly stressful until the kids get the independence of high school.
The bonus of these years is the adoration you get from the kids (who fades pretty quickly in the teens).
Do him a favor and leave. The resentment will always be there. Also, be careful when drinking. There are predators out there
OP Before reconsidering reconciliation, ask yourself, how can you know that things are going to be different this time?
She has not taken any responsibility for what she did to you. The reason why she doesn't want to give you an explanation of what brings your marriage to an end is because she doesn't want to face the consequences of her actions and being vague about it allows her to use you as a plan b.
If there were problems in your marriage, she gave you the opportunity to work on them?,did she apologize for breaking your heart and your family and being selfish looking for a relationship with this girl ( come on OP you know that they were more than friends), she gave you the opportunity to have closure? And finally, can you really trust her again?
OP Reconciliation tales a lot of naked work from both facing the ugly feelings to rebuilt trust, and your wife doesn't want to do it. If she can't be honest with you, there is no point in rekindling this relationship. You are going to be in fear of being dumped and looking over your shoulder all the time.
OP is 20 years old. She’s not ready to listen to anyone’s advice.
You will miss out, that's the sacrifice this will take. You know this dynamic leads you to settling for her. These future times would still revolve around you either avoiding her or hooking up with her. It hurts but friendships come and go for what we need. You are posting here because you know something needs to change.
Most of this didn’t come out until the last month (we dated for 7) and he was by far the most romantic guy I’d ever met. Lots of flowers, love letters, gifts, elaborate dates, talks of marriage, being super thoughtful and sweet, etc. I cannot express to you how much this all took me by surprise, and how stupid I felt when I look back on signs.
Very gently OP, you two dated for 6 months 2 years ago and then broke up. And instead of moving on, you're allowing yourself to be used a back-up option. He promises he sees a future with you and dangles this over you, to keep you interested and engaged and not seeing other people. All he has to do is answer your texts pretty frequently and keep being enthusiastic about this “one day future” he sees with you.
If he likes you so much, why has he broken up with you several times? Why all the lying? Block him and move on. You are romanticising a relationship with a man that doesn't exist.