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Lili, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 26, 2022
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Regardless of whether his manly little ego is hurt because he’s choosing to take a pay cut (and OP said she works and has a new job lined up, so he’s not the sole breadwinner and for all we know he makes less than her), he has no right to slam his fists and throw his wedding ring in the sink. If this is the case, it’s on him to learn to be a big boy and treat other people with respect instead of taking his insecurities out on them.
What in the Maury Povich is this…..
That friendship would be over for me. It’s the “I couldn’t control myself” comment that gets it the worst. Clearly this person does not hold you in any sort of esteem that would require they give you a moment of consideration. Those type of people can be fine acquaintances, but someone you consider a friend (to say nothing of “best” friend) should actually give a shit about how something might affect you
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He doesn't want to be with her, he wants to be with me. He just feels guilty for not having giving her kids while he was busy having cancer
Not bad enough to file for divorce. And he feels no guilt stringing you along.
He's made a big mess of his life and now has to clean it up.
He is very open to her about his feelings for me.
Have you talked to her? You know what he's told her?
Is the facts enough to break up with her?
Yes.
Am I a asshole for thinking this way?
No.
Could you realistically trust someone that age to be faithful and bartend till close 3 or 4x a week?
Not if I'm considering the information you've given.
What do you think, what do you think you would do?
I value my sanity over my emotions, so I'd break it off with her. Don't give her a “quit this job or I'm leaving” ultimatum or anything, just explain to her that all the pieces of the big picture don't fit right for you.
In the future, try sticking to women who are closer to your own age; a lot of the problems that exist in age gaps aren't ones that can be talked out or compromised on.
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She is testing you out. If you let this slide, next time she will text you from a bar saying that she open mouth kissed a guy but she was drunk and her friend dared her to, blah, blah, then you let that slide and next time its a blowjob at a party but it didn't mean anything and he didn't come in her mouth, etc, etc. Put a stop to this now and dump her on the streets where she belongs ….. without trust you don't have a relationship …..
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I literally don’t judge anyone and I rarely ever argue on here. I mostly just say stuff and keep moving. People judge me all the time. I don’t see why it matters cause he’s not the one reading this and arguing back lol but you said something with no context and I disagreed with you about how him begging her for a boob job shouldn’t be excused because he’s, “young and dumb” and somehow I have zero empathy? This is just laughable.
Sorry… I totally forgot. It was 5 months of daring. …
Will do all of these things, just wanted confirmation. Thank you for your reply.
Its best to drop the relationship you got with her now. You can tell her or ghost her. Either way she will only see that you were her friend to get with her (again) and you can't always be a good guy to people. Because in your words you said that she said, “he is emotional abusive but i want to marry him so what should I do.” First of all, she was never interested in becoming your girlfriend again. She doesn't mean to hurt you but this is her only way of getting her message into your skull. You can't be friends with her because you will continue to get jealous and feel she lied to you. She never said she will date you again, you felt like she agreed to that. If the words were never said, don't assume someone automatically agrees or disagrees. But this is my advice to you, stop being her friend and distant yourself because clearly there is no communication happening at all
This is just victim blaming. You’re fully enabling the wrongdoers with this attitude.
Help your sister divorce him!!
Depends.
How important are not getting pregnant or STDs?
As I say, playing devil’s advocate be cause it seems like such a stretch…
Sure reach out – if you hate yourself. Jsut ignore it otherwise. He will eventually get over whatever drinking problem he has right now.
I liked it when there were no gender reveals, people found out and just told people, nothing good is coming of this newish craze
exactly how i’ve been feeling. yeah, the sexualization of women sucks and female nipples shouldn’t be inherently sexual…but op isn’t exactly a bad person for being uncomfortable with the thought of a bunch of guys horning after his gf. his gf is also well aware of the type of attention it would bring.
fuck, i’m just saying exactly what you said except with different wording aren’t i. ah well, point is i agree.
Great advice, Sheila.
I feel like somebody somewhere needs anal. There’s a bomb strapped to him by some evil genius and if he doesn’t get buttsecs 3 times a week it will go off. Or something.
Girl, you married a pedophile. No matter how great a husband you think he is, he’s a terrible person. Call the police and get a lawyer.
YTA, to keep them from their father? What kind of selfish monster are you?
Of course he was keen, he got free accommodation, a maid, probably a chef, and sex! Check out what it will take to evict him
What? She did a 2200 mile hike, she doesn’t seem unhealthy. Also there was so much more shit in that thread I’m surprised that that’s the point you focus on
okay, graham. I'll be watching for you 😉
nd all of the sessions were an undertone of him telling me to leave which wasn’t my intention when seeing him to begin with
so he had an undertone of what virtually everyone will be telling you? So again, if you really want to leave. You just leave…I you need help you just tell your friends and family (again, you aren't the douche causing all the problems) then get that help they will give you.
I think that this is a good place for him to get advice on this topic. In fact, there's probably more people here who have actual sex than the people on r/sex which is actually full of a lot of virgins trying to fish for attention.
But you are a cheater. You're here talking about it, so the label is there and you'll always have it. That's the point they're making. The stain is permanent, whether you like it or not.
What a huge piece of absolute trash.
He's literally head over heels for her and she does this. How can people do such evil things to other people, I don't understand.
Just continue as you are. You don’t have to put your wedding & life on hold for the lady that is pregnant, just as she doesn’t have to put her life on hold for your wedding. Send the invite, she may decide not to come, or to only attend the parts that she is able too. I don’t think you need to make an issue out of it. You’ve enough to think about. Ultimately lots of things could change between now & the wedding for your guests/yourselves.
I think the other comment about a link to watch it live if she can’t attend is an excellent idea!
good luck & all the best for your future.
TBH, if this was my family's situation, it would have made more sense to purchase a new car that is better suited to 3 little ones and then your husband inherits the Edge. That's the most practical solution.
As to being resentful of you not working a full time job wtf does he think taking care of 3 children is? That is a full time job and more.
Because he’s not just my boyfriend. He’s my best friend. It’s easy to say fuck him and move on as a blanket statement. But there’s so much more to this story than what appears at the surface level. I could write a novel about the reasons I want to stay with him, but in short I would say that he is the best person that I know. He is a genuinely amazing human being, and I don’t want to live without him. Yes, he cheated. And yes, he also lied about cheating. But at the same time, the physical stuff isn’t what is paining me the most. I don’t have visuals of him messing around with other people running through my head, that’s not as important in my opinion. It’s the intimacy lost. The knowledge that he’s been secretive and sleuthy towards me is what hurts the most.