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Date: January 24, 2023
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She kept her communications with him hidden: Red Flag
She deleted chats between them: Red flag
They bond over tragic events at work: Red flag
These are the only red flags I see, you are right to think something is going on, trust your gut! It seems like this is an emotional affair, there is a high probability she is confiding in him with her day to day troubles. If this is happening it needs to stop and boundaries need to be put in place. No more texting after work hours, no more rides home, and no more deleted texts.
You might as well put it out all on the table and ask her point blank if she is still committed to the marriage. She might not even realize how sketchy and shitty her behaviors are because she is justifying them to herself. BUT, if you were to act the same way with a woman at work, would she be as understanding?
Not really, this sub is full of people that have problems communicating with their partners in ways that would seem obvious to most people. In many cases people already know what's wrong but need strangers to spell it out to them. In this case I think he knows that his wife may be cheating on him with a work colleague but is hoping someone can convince him otherwise.