My (39-F) widower bf (34-m) broke up with me in the name of grief


I've been dating a widower for almost seven months. We met at my younger child's birthday party. At the time I didn't even know he was a widow. It was only 3 months after her death. Three months later we started dating. The first year anniversary is coming up and he broke up with me because "it hasn't even been a year" because I was upset he spent Easter with her family rather than us. Almost every weekend we're together and we both have kids. My oldest takes all three younger ones to school every day. His youngest has told the whole day care his big sister takes him to school.

He's painted the outside of my house, my kitchen, came to fix my oldest's car after work, picks up my youngest when I can't get there on time, etc… We seriously do regular couple things for each other and help each other out with our kids and we treat them as our own. (My ex is completely out of the picture)

He's called me to go over when his daughter missed her mommy and she wished I lived with them, just do I could go to give her hugs and mommy loving… And of course I go and my kids understand! He attended college signing day for the big kid, went to her games, my little ones play with the after school program.

Anyways, we've definitely brought our kids together and on regular days act like two single parents blending our families and it's serious. Then holidays he acts like this. I understood the winter holidays… Then now it's her death anniversary and he's too sad to be in a relationship. But he still wants me to act like mommy to his kids.

Tonight I cooked and was waiting on him to put his youngest down to bring him food. He said he wanted to hang out and talk. Then he asked if I'd stay the night with him. Mind you, he broke up with me bc the year anniversary is coming up… All day today he's been talking about his grief and he's not okay. So I called him out and said, oh you want to have sex with me, in y'all's bed, but you're so upset over this year anniversary that you needed to break up with me? He read my message and stopped replying. I tried calling him and no answer.

I might have sent an ugly message about don't contact be again, this is just about sex, which I've told him before if that's what it is, then say it but stop letting our kids be involved and together as a family because it even affects the high school Senior! He swore he loved us and cared about us and it's not sex. He wants us to grow as a family. Until Easter!

Am I wrong for feeling disrespected that I can't meet his family, friends, etc, but we have a whilye Brady Bunch blending our families together situation going on? Or that he broke up with me, but still wants me to act like mommy to his kids and have sex, but "not be in a relationship"?

They were together 18 years and he didn't propose until she was diagnosed with cancer. He only acts sad on holidays and when there's an audience. My oldest says he didn't really actually love her, but it's a show and at first I said, no, be loved her, but I'm starting to think his sadness is a show and he wants to pretend he's the "sad partner" even though he had no problem approaching me three months after her death and pursued me for three months before we started dating! Ugh!!!

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Date: April 18, 2024

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