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Room for online sex video chat Param_Sundari
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Birth Date: 1990-09-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
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Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: October 5, 2022
It’s important that she respects your boundaries. And you’re still healing from the situation so as long as she can respect that and give you the time and space to process your emotions, then I don’t think you have to give up. But I’m a big believer in letting things happen when they should and try not to force yourself into a decision before you’re ready, even if it means making someone else uncomfortable with waiting. If you’re not together right now and you want to be able to feel single – like you just want that space and to not feel like anyone or anything is gripping you- then that just needs to be something communicated and respected. I hope that doesn’t sound confusing
Yeah I think the exact same way. The moment OP mentioned she would only go to the first place I thought “this will end badly”. Because people don't want to go out until they do and when they are there they are having fun and don't want to go home.
How are you affording a separate life. If it's via loans and debt you cannot afford it either.
Fucking run.
The average child support payment is $430/month per kid.
She has a 4 and 6 year old. If she invests $430/month and gets the average stock market return of 10% the 6 year old would have $202k when they graduated college and the 4 year old would have $258k
Don’t be dumb child support is for the children don’t let them miss out.
Why do you have this abusive man around your children!!!!
I’d assume your ex was interested in him but didn’t pursue him until after your breakup, doesn’t make her any better of a person though. If she wants to mess around with a married man let her dig her own grave. I’d try to move on from her
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You’re now the age he was when you met. Would you want to date a 13 year old?
Big decisions that will effect your life are usually better with less emotion attached.
As it stands he lacks the ability and/or the maturity to make changes for you or the kid.
Reasons don’t matter or justify it at that point. It’s just excuses.
Staying changes nothing and makes it less likely. It will make it harder for him to grow up if he has you to support him as he currently is. It will also drown you in his and his family’s drama, and damage you.
That will undoubtedly hold you back and limit your potential during important years where you determine your life trajectory having to split that focus. Tough with a kid but extremely doable, and you will do it.
Wtf is it with people believing lies about their SO. Dude in another sub had his wife and family stolen by his brother because he made up a lie about him cheating on her. Wife married the brother after she divorced her husband of 20 years. 6 years later they found out it was all lies….
If I was in your shoes, I couldn't get past the trust issues and I would consider it cheating that he slept with other people. I don't care about the technicalities of being broken up. If you get back with him, your way more forgiving than I would be. Just be good coparents.
That’s the point.
What a bunch of bullshit.
You don't have to wait for answers. This feels familiar because it is familiar.
After you end this relationship, do the work to figure out what draws you toward these assholes.
I can see why it is baffling, it is so outrageously bad.
Ask him why he doesn't send nudes of himself to his boss? Why isn't that compulsive too? Haha.
I appreciate you taking the time to write this out, you bring up a lot of good points. I have had nothing but concerns since finding out she was attracted to me. I haven’t indulged in any of it because I want to make the right decision and hopefully not ruin anyones lives. But it also feels like even I do the right thing the result will be the same. Her husband and his family would still hate her and in turn me. I shared the same concerns you’ve mentioned with her, and she’s just as concerned with the long term problems. I brought up that this could just seem like an easy solution to a difficult situation and that taking time and not rushing anything will help alleviate potential regret.
Well put, but at our age and we've had our kids, why get married. If it was 20 years ago and we wanted kids then yes, but not in our stage of life.
Yeah, don't blindside her. She is not going to go crazy and do something dangerous to your fiancée, is she? Like feeding her stuff at the banquet pregnant women are not supposed to eat?
Oh you are so bad at this. You should re-take creative writing child.
No. Him covering the rent while you were not working is him making up for you buying all the furniture, the plane tickets, and everything else.
Right now your wife can't hear you when you say she's beautiful because it's so at odds with her internal reality. I've had this issue with my partner in the past. It took about 4 or 5 years before he was willing to accept that i find him attractive. It really helped for us to talk about our personal realities and for me to pull back on compliments based on physicality. Whenever he would insult himself, I'd reply with something like “I understand you believe that to be true, but I don't. I respect your right to feel what you feel. At the same time, you denying my reality in which I adore you and find you physically attractive hurts me in the same way as me complimenting you hurts you right now. You are my chosen partner and I treasure you, no matter how you feel about yourself.”
You can't undo decades of abuse by telling someone something they're going to immediately reject as ridiculous, no matter how true it is to you (or even if it's objectively true). What you're going to want to do is figure out a way, like the example I shared above, to disrupt her internal narrative without running headfirst into the darkest part of it. Pick at its edges and the smaller lies that support the big lies. Do things that show her without words that you treasure her, but stay away from the physical compliments until she can hear you again.
Encourage her to cut off her sister. And her parents if her parents enable her sister. Find a good trauma therapist, maybe one that does internal family systems, EMDR, or somatic experiencing. She's acting like her touch will infect you or taint you, or that she's unworthy of any affection. This is really deep wound and you can't do this alone. If you can't get her to agree to therapy, get your own therapist (probably wise anyway) and get some general advice on how to help her hear you again.
She probably always has a version of this running through her head, but this destroyed her defenses that allow her to function. Behavioral or talk therapy might not touch it because they're not really intended for use with stuff this traumatic. It's like using a bandaid when you need a tourniquet. Yeah, it'll do something, but it's not really helpful.
What's ChatGpt?
talk to a divorce lawyer, today.
I hate that this is often the first response in this sub.
But in this case, it's ABSOLUTELY the right answer.
I had something like this happen to me, as a man. It really had me shook. I called my wife immediately and I was so glad.
How about this, are you willing to loose you daughter?
You are at a cross roads with your kid. She is rapidly becoming an “adult” and you are only speeding that transition on.
In what ways besides monetary support do you support your daughter and show her love? Im not talking about taking her to musicals or going to dinner once a week. Im talking about parent and child interaction where you are there for her in an activity she chose.
Quite frankly it might be to late. My mom and I don’t really speak anymore. She always made sure I had food on the table and money for other things but in terms of non finical emotional support and care for my interests, she was absent.
Once she began cutting off the financial support the relationship was pretty much dead. The way she choose to show her love was monetary and now thought that that just end so I could grow. That’s fine I’m theory but it also means that she effectively no longer put any effort into our relationship.
We don’t really talk much besides pleasantries.
Is this the relationship oh want with your daughter?
I’m not saying it’s fair I’m asking if you are willing to live! with the consequences of the action?
Wow. She's horrible. She is not the right person for you. Find a partner with some empathy.
Sounds like a good game plan but it's a little more complicated than that unfortunately..
No. She’s just not that into you.
Sounds like you needed to bring up the topic and did so in the best way possible
Unfortunately, I wonder if you’re compatible
Why does she comes in? Do you have another bathroom/rest room available?
The only thing I'd do in your shoes is take back that apology.
She cheated on you my guy – after giving you all that bs about there never being an excuse. She's a full on liar. Block, delete, move on.
Look, he’s only got ONE shed. He thought about buying another one once and some friends called him two sheds and now it’s stuck. Can we please talk about his symphony?
Stop posting this and people please stop engaging with it
it's because in that moment you weren't her 'rock' she could look up to
You are a very self centered person.
Mad stalker vibes coming from your misses mate. First up as a gym guy that would creep me out a bit. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable thank your partner for telling you. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable. And have an adult conversation about it. Make sure you are fully understanding of why you feel the way you do though and this can be challenging and require a lot in introspection. E.g. if you are weirded out by it maybe cause you would like her to think like that about you… maybe ask her what you can do to make her feel like that about you. All good relationships are based on solid communication.
To be fair it’s cool she told you and was honest. Simply because everyone developes crushes even in relationships it’s all about leaving them as crushes.
If he cared about you, he would not only have made weekend plans with you instead of someone else after not seeing each other for so long, but he would have also followed up after you didn’t reply his text. You should consider this thing to be over, 2 weeks of not talking for no apparent reason is basically a break up.
???. Leave and find a more worthy girl. She will still cheat regardless of marital state. Do you want to continue getting STD tests until they turn up positive?
A huge thing I’ve learned is don’t compare relationships! Seriously, your ex and your girlfriend are two completely different humans, so you’ll have two completely different relationships with them. Especially if the former relationship was abusive, they usually cause high adrenaline, anxiety, and extreme feelings and emotions because of the abusive situation. They also often love bomb, or blow things out of proportion so it’s not surprising that you don’t have the same feels as you did. One is a healthy relationship, and one isn’t.
Just see how it goes, don’t compare them though.
You didn't do anything wrong, also like sex is a really important part in relationships for most people. Your GF clearly has alot of guilt and shame around it and that sucks for her but is not your fault…I wouldn't date someone for 4 years without having sex….which by the way (oral sex is sex lol) so she's hung out on very specific sexual acts not all sex because she is having sex with you. I'd show her this post.
How long are you going to continue setting yourself on fire to keep him warm?
“You’re bringing up the past” says the man who brought up fucking other women over ice cream…clearly it’s not the past for him either. He’s trying to make you feel like this is a YOU problem and you’re falling for it. I’d leave him. It’ll hurt of course, break ups do. But this is a one way road to fuckery and you might as well cut your losses now.
I’m autistic, so is my ex husband. He was just like this and in addition to cheating he nearly bankrupted us with his hobbies. You can’t fix this. Trust me. I wasted 15 ears and ruined my credit trying to save us from his irrational bullshit. Run.
Thank you!!! OP you are definitely in an abusive relationship.
It is absolutely not a big deal. You are right that joining would be a “sign of togethness and love,” but it is just a sign! The fact that you're getting married is a much bigger and clearer sign of togetherness and love!
IMO the last name discussion only really matters if you plan on having kids. Are you? You should talk about that situation more than this one IMO. Some solutions could be:
hyphenated names for the kids but not for you two kids have two different last names. One kids gets yours for their middle name, his for their last name. Next kids gets yours for their last, his for middle.
I mean it seems like the biggest issue you have was the looking at another girl since you don’t mention him recording you until halfway through.
The other girl is not the issue here. He is
So your title isn’t really accurate not the first part of your post
This is not the roommates fault at all! Clearly there was an agreement to inform each other of company coming over.
As a woman, if I come homer with some stranger in my home, I’d probably done the same thing! I’m sure the roommate was scared to death as well.
This is all on the new bf and seriously OP, the way he reacted says he’s not the one for you. He should be the one apologizing to you BOTH not downplaying your feelings and taking zero accountability. This is just a small glimpse into the bigger picture with him if you continue this relationship ijs.
the most dangerous place and time for a woman, is after initiating a divorce.
the fact that it has been an abusive relationship, and his anger over loss of control is directed at you, is quite worrying.
be safe girl
If these issues are there its safe to assume they won't go away over time. If theres a communication problem now then its best to try and work on it now instead of crossing our fingers for the future.
If you can, open up a discussion on why he might be apprehensive to share things with you. Is he scared of what you might think or say? Does he not think you should shoulder his issues and just bottles it up?
Look. Sometimes cheaters can be forgiven and you can repair things – it’s an unpopular opinion (for good reason) but it does happen.
HOWEVER. Usually in these cases there are mitigating circumstances – chronic stress or problems that neither individual caused and someone cracks. New jobs etc making someone feel neglected. Substance abuse, all sorts of things. But again, usually the cheating itself is a one night mistake after drinking too much or feeling low – and the cheater feels just as crushed as their partner they betrayed. Even despite all this, there is no guarantee someone will be able to forgive and move on, but it can happen.
But a six month long concealed affair? While you were ENGAGED??? No. This was never going to be reconciled – she does not respect you, you are just the safe option. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but honestly OP you are just setting yourself up to be walked all over and used. Get out of there, heal, enjoy your life as a single person, and then one day find someone who actually loves you and will treat you as a priority
You gave it a shot and now she's going back to her old shit. It's high time you leave her – for your own well-being and mental and emotional health. Find your self-worth and self-respect and dump her.
Kegals would have more impact ?
If it's only a 30 minute drive to get to Tijuana I can only suspect you are from Southern California. If you were from Northern Mexico you would know that it's dangerous and that 1 day isn't going to be much help. I suggest you find something useful to do in Southern California. There is a massive and growing homeless problem there and you can make an actual difference with that.
She wants a quick solution that makes it so she doesn’t distrust her partner but like the only person that can do that is HIM
YOU WERE RAPED. SORRY. and so many hugs. I don't know what to tell you. Except in some areas the gay community is very close knit, let others know what he did to you. I know you likely don't want to charge him, but warn others and maybe have him ostracized.
Not only this , but it also shows that you lack self respect and self esteem. The dude is jealous and insecure, so he is trashing you, so you feel shitty.
Be confident, love yourself and throw his ass out. if you continue to stay in…read below
To quote Robin Williams…”I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone”
I don't mind him in my house. I do want to let him know that I know. Maybe he'll feel an ounce of shame considering everything I have done for her.
Hey thanks, it's nice to be validated in my feelings. While it isn't possible to by a home solo where I am, I do want to accept these feelings and move forward with him and eventually be at a place where we are both comfortable.
Okay, skip item one and concentrate on the other ones.
I know, he lacks the empathy and awareness to fathom that COVID is still a problem. He doesn’t have bad intentions, but he’s apparently oblivious to life and the concerns of people outside his 24yo bubble 🙁 it is selfish
What part of my statement do you disagree with?
Sooo… Do you want to be miserable right now without him but sane & have a great opportunity for a better future life?
Or do you want to be miserable with him, slowly going insane & have no chance at happiness?
Your choice but I’m hoping you chose a better life.
This is sad and creepy. He’s clearly been planning this in advance, well before asking you.
I’m thinking him getting out of a ten year relationship and choosing someone 14 years younger is more of a red flag than the actual age gap alone.
there is nothing wrong with the age gap.
However you need to know why his 10yrs relationship did not work out + you might need to know his background, families & friends too
its only 2 months so you might wanna date at least a year & see how he is because too many cases posted that the partner changed after reaching a comfortable ground.
You should divorce. Your wife is not right for you. Sexual compatibility and chemistry is an important part of a relationship
I will never understand why women put up with with this shit. Girl you are 24…. You have more options that you can imagine and you will never get this time in your life back. Why are you giving it to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you?
You stop being clueless and live! sick and realize what she just showed you by going out and kissing him. She is not worth you time. She is garbage. Move on.
I would rather this loser of a man be left off the hook in terms of responsibility than for his children to be unfortunate enough to be raised by him. When it comes to custody decisions my opinion is that the accountability of the parents matters so, so much less than the children growing up in the best environment possible. The kids shouldn’t be sacrificed to force an adult man to learn.
You don't give enough info for anyone to know what might be going on here. If this boyfriend's workplace is corporate and if this newcomer represents some networking possibilities he might someday use to get a better job then you pretty much have to accept that this is how people get ahead. On the other hand if this is some service job and this new worker isn't something special with unique business insights then you might want to consider that your boyfriend is stupid enough to try to seduce a coworker.
So you're hung up on someone with whom you have NEVER had an actual commitment. Wistful, wishful ignorance… its bliss for a reason. Similar to the path not chosen stuff. Follow it at your own peril. There's a good chance that if you take that path, it won't end up the way you think but it would be better to let your current gf go if you really think you need to try.
Or just make it a fling/fwb until you get the lust out of your systems, then move on.
Bro thank you so much for not assuming and actually giving me advise or something to think about. I really believe she doesn’t want to and that’s ok. I just don’t like the “work on yourself and do more things for me and I’ll do it more” I don’t want to be told that something will be done and nothing has been done. I may have to seek counseling. I know she doesn’t have to do it, but I don’t like that she says she will do it. Tell me you don’t want to do and why so we can work on it.
I’m sorry that you are feeling troubled at what you saw. You must have many questions for your bio mother.
It’s not unusual that you wouldn’t see a mention of yourself on her FB. She gave you up so you could have a better life. Maybe for her, your adopted family is your family. It would be odd, I think, for someone to post about a baby they gave up. But I understand that seeing ‘what might have been’ is upsetting.
You are 18. She knows you exist. You have a right to contact her if you want to. Whether it is private message via FB, a letter, a call, that is up to you. Ask her if she would be willing to talking to you. Tell her you don’t want anything from her except maybe some information. Then give her a chance to digest the request. Her husband and kids may not know about you.
I’m glad you have a good adoptive family – they are your family. Your bio mother could be too, if that’s what you both want. You need to prepare yourself that bio mother may not want to reopen that part of her life. Maybe all she can give you is medical info.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
That's gross. This will not get better. I would just tell him he's free to increase his number now because I'm leaving. Then I'd block him.
You deserve better than an insecure boy who shuts down your attempts at healthy communication with ” you had sex in college so I'm in the right and this discussion is over “
Yes, I should have added that. Many women really like that….but in my own experience, women who really like it usually find a way to communicate “come get me/pursue me physically” vibes. Women who “just expect it” get weirded out and do immature like let it make them feel insecure without even talking about it.
A lot of women walk around thinking that men who don’t make the first move every time while she sits there and waits for it are “broken” or less masculine or something.
When even is this?!
?
Normally people jump on here and start saying to leave him, yada yada… but in this case they are right. Nothing about this is okay. Skip the fact he straight up ignored your request to stop (SA) and the fact that made you too scared to protest anymore but he victim blamed you afterwards and can’t even take responsibility for your pain and fear?
A “normal” reaction for a guy that got too carried away while drunk and faced with a conversation like yours would be a guy breaking down emotionally. He’d be apologetic, remorseful, scared and sympathetic. He’d be comforting you and wondering how to fix things. He’d probably monitor his drinking or offer to quit all together. This reaction is dismissive at best. He doesn’t give a fuck about you and that speaks to everything. Leave him him, there are much better men out there that won’t get you in this position in the first place.
You process it by leaving and never going back. WTF that’s SA
Forget about him – maybe he thought that you were going to “put out” and when you didn't he lost interest. It's his loss.
You process it by leaving and never going back. WTF that’s SA
Clearly he is projecting, I’d guess he doesn’t want to come off as offensive. But obviously he doesn’t like whatever hair is growing on your face.
You have two options, clean it up for his sake. Or don’t. Understand that the latter will ultimately affect your relationship.
Clearly he is projecting, I’d guess he doesn’t want to come off as offensive. But obviously he doesn’t like whatever hair is growing on your face.
You have two options, clean it up for his sake. Or don’t. Understand that the latter will ultimately affect your relationship.
Clearly he is projecting, I’d guess he doesn’t want to come off as offensive. But obviously he doesn’t like whatever hair is growing on your face.
You have two options, clean it up for his sake. Or don’t. Understand that the latter will ultimately affect your relationship.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we spend all our time together and I always knew he cared about me and liked me but he wasn’t ready to say “I love you” until almost 3 years in.
People are different. Before him, I hadn’t EVER said I love you to a partner and my last partners had been long term, I just wasn’t ready.
And even with my current bf, I didn’t tell him I loved him until 2 years in and he didn’t say it back. He said he cared about me so much but he wasn’t ready to say it. And when he did say it months later, it was natural and meant that much more to me.
Sounds like the bf has some maturity issues. 7 years? Talk to him about it and you need to make some decisions about your relationship continuing.
That's how I felt initially but I ultimately don't want to add more fuel to the flames. I don't want her showing up at my place to pick a fight if she really does know where I'm at.
she’s insecure. that is not something you say to someone you love.
?
Probably better to ask in r/sex or a bdsm sub.
Anyone that says “beta male” seriously never grew up from their teenager phase. So if he has a daughter in the future he would leave the mom with all the playing and work since it’s too girly?