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Date: October 17, 2022
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You did the right thing by telling him. You also have to think about you saying that your relationship was the best it could ever be. That might be true for you but not him. You cheated on him. You betrayed him. You made bad decisions which you had to know would hurt him if he ever found out you did.
You two can get over this if you both want to work on it. If he does not want to do not push him to. If you are really repentant you will understand if he wants to break up but later on wants to give it another try. He will be coming to this from a place of hurt.
You also will have to work very hard to regain his trust. You will have to be fine with being in an uneven dynamic in the relationship. He will have more freedom than you. This freedom will be not having to check in as much as you do, it being fine if he is a little late, and not having to have open access to his social media. You will have to cut anyone out of your life who supported the cheating. You better already be no contact with the AP.
You cannot allow either of you to rug sweep what you did. It was cheating. You cannot downplay it by thinking it is not as bad because you did not have sex. You cannot downplay it by thinking it is not as bad because you ended it without being caught.
You did the easy part by telling him now the naked part is going to come if you both want to keep the relationship. There will be a lot of work and I wish you both well.
She is definitely not your friend.
You're definitely right, have to be very careful about next steps because it can't be undone. I will ofcourse talk to her about it before anything since she had the video but has since deleted it. Not even sure if its even there anymore.
These are dangerous thoughts and I must tread carefully. Thank you for your thoughts!