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pinkceeleste chat
Date: October 21, 2022
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pinkceeleste chat
Why do you have any type of joint savings before you are married?
Tell him, he is responsible for this child too
i’m so sorry to hear that OP and it must really fkn suck. i broke up my one year relationship with my ex around 5 months ago and i’ve been in your exact position! i think one thing that really helped me move on, apart from the whole connecting with friends and hobbies etc., was just reflecting on the past fondly. knowing that i tried and so did he gave me peace. learning to cherish those moments and bring the same good energy but more into my next relationship kept me hopeful! the memories are always nice but they are just that; memories. i learnt to miss the moments rather that him himself.
i still see him often on campus which stings and ofc i think about him time to time just like you, but i think that’s just part of life; c’est la vie. you can only focus on yourself and your own emotions in these moments. most importantly, you are not alone! and i think you will eventually find someone that loves you the way you want to be loved. you got this OP!
Reading her comments, it's clear she doesn't care about what anyone is saying. I can only hope the poor man finds it in him to leave her.
You should tell her you're used to tighter chicks
I would be suspicious of her because if you losing weight and making more money is what put you in her #1 spot………..then she's superficial and would look for other men at the moment someone “more fit” and richer came by.
I have added one detail in the main thread, which is that there realistically was no way she would have known the changes I made. She doesn't seem to be that type of person, because when we were friends, she was pretty honest and straightforward.
Truth hurts. But we’ve built a great life together! Traveling, tons of memories, families meeting, living together, finding our own awesome jobs together.
Get ready to die of a disease then. Or your kids. JWs don’t believe in medical care. It’s a CULT.
I think poor people from a post-Soviet country who fled a war aren't particularly impressed by the easy, pampered lives that Canadians on-line and don't think your jobs and daily tasks are anything remotely resembling actual hardship. And yes, they probably think you're very gullible and naive. Their perspective is that you're all a bunch of fat, rich, pampered Westerners and they shouldn't feel any qualms about extracting time or wealth from you because you have plenty of it from your easy not-real jobs.
It is probably time to transition out of being their caretakers.
Op definitely making a problem where there isn't one. So he loves his mom. He could be a domestic abuser or worse but his greatest flaw is he loves his mom. The audacity!
Op I’m going to be blunt, you NEED to grow a spine. Pack a bag for her, tell her to go to her parents. Her behaviour is unacceptable and when she’s ready to talk like an adult she can come home. Don’t raise your voice don’t argue with her, just do it.
I'm going to stop you right there. He's happy when you're at home or at work because he knows where you are. He doesn't like it when he doesn't know exactly where you are and exactly what you're doing because then he can't control you. He can't keep tabs on you. Pretty soon he's going to start complaining about you spending any time with your friends or family and you're going to stop doing so just to avoid an argument. He'll have gotten exactly what he wanted, to isolate you.
Pretty soon he's going to start complaining about you even needing to go to work. He's going to do this because he knows that without money, it's going to be harder for you to leave. Same thing if he isolates you from everyone except himself. He knows that you won't have a support network and it will make it harder to leave. Also, he won't have any witnesses for how he's treating you.
He knows exactly what he's doing and he's doing it on purpose. I don't care how many times he says he's going to change, he won't. It's just empty promises to keep you in the marriage. You can't love him enough to make him change. Abusers don't change. It's nothing you're doing wrong, you didn't cause it and it's not your fault. He's going to try to make you think that how he's treating you is your fault but I promise you it's not. You'll hear things like well if you hadn't done X, I wouldn't have had to do Y.
Nothing you do is ever going to be good enough, he's not going to change. I made the mistake of thinking that if I just tried a little harder than he would treat me the way I deserved. I about killed myself trying to do it and he would have killed me if I hadn't left. He started out exactly like this and by the end, he tried to kill me. I ended up having to get a restraining order. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that you can try harder and he will treat you the way you deserve. It's not going to happen. You also can't love this out of him. Don't waste years of your life on this man.
I'll probably get downvoted but this is something I'd probably joke about too. It's more of a “that's so fucked up that I would never do that but saying it outloud is funny because it's never going to happen” sort of thing. I hope I'm wording that correctly.
But yeah I'd be freaked out if she stopped taking birth control. She should've at least apologized sincerely and made it clear “hey that was a fucked up joke and knowing how it makes you feel makes me understand that it's not okay to joke like that”
Tell her how you feel about it and see how she responds. If she laughs at your feelings, then I'd understandably break it off. That's a huge breach of trust and you shouldn't have to be constantly worried over it.
Does he still on-line with her?
Your wife shuts down when she doesn't want to hear the truth? How does she still have a job? That is not how a responsible adult behaves.
Ha! That’s funny. He’s an idiot.
Dont move in.
If his go-to every time he “thinks you don’t love him” is to try and hook up on Tinder instead of talking like a grown up, then you’re never going to be able to trust him.
You’ll spend all your time when he’s at work wondering who he’s talking to, and you’ll start snooping on his phone when he’s home.
If you want to stay with him you’re going to have to just blindly trust him from now on.
Sounds like you're really out of sorts.
You were so sure you wanted to end it and now you're so sure that you made a mistake?
I can't really trust someone swinging wildly on such a big topic.
Honestly I think it's your depression or other disorders that are really speaking and you don't know what you want.
You do right to focus on healing and addressing your mental health issues.
Definitely don't go looking for another romantic interest to cope. That isn't fair to anyone.
In fact someone did that to . A guy with severe ADHD depression anxiety and BPD. After hounding me for weeks to date him he turned around and said oh I forgot I still have issues. And basically he was a whole mess. God bless his soul. He emailed me months to later to say they were no nonbinary or had no gender and were sleeping with men .
But then a year ago the texted to try to meet up for drinks and acted like they never said they were nb.
And I see they continue to use he/him pronouns .
I know thats neither here nor there but I can't help but be reminded. I can understand his mental health was so completely out of control that he was just going with the flow of treading water.
Completely unable to meet my emotional needs.
I think you made the right choice and you should let her move on for the time being
You returned the engagement ring and basically said you regret your time spent with her so I'm assuming you broke up. What advice are you looking for?
I wouldve done the same thing
I often find people aiutomatically take the side of the women on this subreddit, i've left out a lot of background context but it definitely became a one way street where I was all give and she was all take.
She'd love and expect me to answer all her phone calls and texts in timely manners but never reciprocated. The key is she never reciprocates now its not me trying to force her into a corner
Look… the think about feelings and dating… they're confusing if you're in a position that is enabling the confusion.
You don't need to tip-toe around things and wonder “does this mean he likes me?”… we can't tell that to you.
Be forward and get that information from him. Don't involve yourself in situations that feel like a game. Do you want to play games with your heart? No…
The best way to protect yourself is going after clear cut, no brainer information.
Maybe the glass or two of wine have her the courage to speak. Doesn’t sound like either were actually DRUNK…
This is something you never do you someone you love.
You never hit them where it hurts.
Could I use my intimate knowledge of my husband to hurt him more than anyone else? Absolutely, because I know more than anyone else, I know his deepest insecurities and he knows mine, that level of trust is the foundation for a relationship . Would I? Never. I haven’t even thought about what to say to do that. Have I lost my shit and said things I shouldn’t? Absolutely. Not that though, because that is a truth I hold to my core.
You breached her trust in a way I don’t think I could ever forgive.
To me the issue of children is not the issue anymore.
You did it once, you could do it again.
So when you want to talk to a friend or partner in person, do you initiate the conversation, or do you stand halfway across the room and just stare at them and hope they come over? Texting works the same. If you sit and wait and hope, and that's all, it's just not likely to happen, especially if they aren't the type of person to text out of the blue in the first place.
I totally agree I was wrong and to blame on that. The thing is she always told me she was going out on parties, and that if I didn’t want her to go to some party she wouldn’t go. That’s why I got mad, because I asked 3 times and she said not. I ask for advice if I should try to be with her or not since she doesn’t tell me if she wants me to be there or not.
This doesn't change my mind lol. I get having preferences, but its also a gift. Did your parents never teach you guys to never look a gifted horse in the mouth?
UpdateMe!
I’m responding to those that insist you must use birth control and condoms. Not everyone can do both. People have bodies that react differently.
Go for it! Regret is more frequent when not taking risks
It's not about being white, it's about the power dynamic. I've seen guys do the same thing with Eastern European women whiter than copy paper. Some guys go looking for a foreign wife because they either think foreign women are more controllable, or because they plan to control them by holding immigration over their heads, or both. Not saying OP did this, but it's a thing.