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ZoeGrey, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 16, 2022
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He is 100% a liar and a cheat. There’s no excuse for his actions And isn’t it weird how he used the term “we’re cool” he definitely didn’t tell her nor would he because he mentioned that his wife wouldn’t find out if none of y’all said anything. Tell her the truth and ask her if she wants to stay a few nights with her kid if you’re able to. This situation isn’t good and make sure you record this, call him back and ask about his cheating on the phone. This will help your friend in the long run if she chooses divorce and make sure to record and screenshot those texts
Yeah let him find someone who doesn’t dislike him and his personality. Wtf why are you with this guy someone who you don’t “desire”, these aren’t small things.
Oh yeah I remember a cop pulling me to the side after an armed robbery where I had a gun pressed up to my face, and had to fight an attacker to get away, and the cop says next time just get a gun and shoot them. Like bro what?
He seems quite impatient, childish, and demanding. He wanted you for sex and he didn’t get it so he got upset. A partner that only loves mecfor sex is not a partner I would want to be with in my opinion.
She’s weird. Don’t give it a second thought.
It is natural for women to hair on their bodies. Because it grows there. What a self entitled ass.
He is selfish, and is making this an issue when it isn't. You are under no obligation to make yourself pretty for him. You are beautiful as you are. Just picture this jerk tearing down your self esteem for the rest of your life. Sure, today it's shaving your entire body every day, (ridiculous btw), but what will it be when he has your compliance there?
Please get out of this relationship. I don't think he is worth it.
he has no hopes or dreams for himself on what he wants his current life to be like
Do you think cutting out video games would give him hopes and dreams? You say you've suggested streaming, that sounds like a dream to someone interested in gaming 24/7.
Are you sure he isn't just comfortable with his current situation? You didn't really say anything about his life outside of games so for all I know he could be making mad money and living just cozy the way he is. Some people just like games and don't need other hobbies.
Still aint the same. He looks at porn actors – who are doing their job. She too may look at porn. But she objectifying herself for others to see is whole another aspect – and given the values OP’s marriage is founded upon is simply unacceptable
No, I'm reading what she actually posted. The focus of her entire post is about how bad she feels, and about how much she drank. She even says that her boyfriend monitors her drinking, like it's his job to make sure she doesn't go off the rails. She keeps repeating the excuse that she's had more to drink before and this never happened. That's irrelevant to what really matters, which is that she physically, verbally, and emotionally abused her boyfriend.
Same as all other “How do I tell him?” questions. Be honest and kind, that's it.
If her sleeping w someone is a total dealbreaker evaluate why compadre- and listen to yourself about your answer. If the answer is it’s not a dealbreaker then ask her to get tested if she did and move on after that
Sounds like a whole family of people that shouldn’t have children.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Marie is dating a married man.
Marie : I don't think he's ever going to leave her.
Sally : Nobody thinks he's ever going to leave her.
Marie : You're right, you're right. I know you're right
Stop being Marie and go find a man who's not fucking married!
What part of this is new exactly? I mean, you said he “keeps doing” stuff like this and promised he wouldn't. How much of this were you already aware of BEFORE you got married, bought a house, and got dogs together?? I'm going to assume you were either ok with everything up to that point, OR you believed him the umpteenth time he lied to you, ignored all the red flags, and now that he's done it umpteen and one times…NOW you decide you don't want to be married?
Are you having a hot time accepting the man you chose to marry and trying to be all “he lied and now I'm trapped” or was the gap between what you knew before vs now since being married THAT much different (like he was cross-dressing before, you asked him to stop, he hid everything and NOW you find out he's video's it and sending it to people too?) Like it was a kink, but NOW its different because he's cheating too? Or?
Am just confused about how much of this you were aware of before the legal marriage and house and pets. Hiding stuff in the crawl space sounds new, as well as his promise not to do (what exactly) again. But were you aware at all that others were involved before you married him?? This is the part that isn't clear…If you were, and you still married him, then I think you need to take some ownership of the situation you put yourself into. Sorry if I'm way off base here. Just…something isn't adding up for me.
I think it depends on how he reacts. People make mistakes and I doubt it was on purpose. I once forgot a present I had gotten from my aunt at her place as well when my family visited for Christmas and my aunt was super-hurt. I felt horrible, I hadn't meant to forget it, but between the hectic holidays, having to carry a lot of things and the general mess when everyone was getting ready to leave, I simply forgot one item on the table.
So honestly, if your boyfriend is apologetic, if he is trying to find the gift by asking around, if he is clearly feeling bad both about losing the gift and making you sad… then I would let it go.
But if he doesn't really care, shrugs it off, tells you that you are overreacting or anything along those lines, then this is a pretty big, red flag about not appreciating your time and effort and not caring about your feelings.
You are overthinking this and worrying for no reason. You aren’t moving for two years. I know you want to have a plan set up, but give yourself time to enjoy your life today, your school, your boyfriend and your relationship. When you are ready to actually leave home, things will be different. You will be more mature and able to make the decisions you need then. People who on-line in the future lose the present so don’t rush things.
Your boyfriend is the personification of a red flag. These are not traits to chat about. These are traits to see in your rear view mirror as you drive far, far away from this relationship.
Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of one person embodying all those red flags at once. He’s like a walking stereotype. Please don’t waste any more of your time on this guy.
No he's 2% body fat
They're not brainwashed, that's exactly how abuse works. Look it up.
You’re not that interested in her. You’re just upset she’s not chasing you. Move on man she’s too good for you.
Nope. He lied. And then lied again. Why would he suddenly hang a bra that “he’s had for months” up on his door?? If he was that concerned about returning it, he would have asked her when she left it behind. And TBH if I left a bra at a guys house months ago, it’s gone. He’s going to be waiting a while for this imaginary woman who would contact an ex for some underwear months later ?.
As far as you know, there could have been a lot he wasn’t sharing…which is OK! My wife doesnt know EVERYTHING about me, nor I her. He really hasnt done anything wrong but if you approach it without any kind of interrogative tone, im sure you can have a conversation, if need be.
Absolutely, great advice. Thank you!!
Seeing that I'm just reading you post 9 hours later, +100 comments I don't know if this was said, I think you need to get to relearn your husband and visa versa. I literally screwed up my face at your description and excuses. You don't even sound like you like your husband, just tolerate him, like he's a pesky bug. That's the feeling I got from you anyway. Why not ask your sister to share her vaca club benefits and you and your hubby rekindle your magic? Furthermore, how long has your sister and hubby been married that your family dynamics are so stranger like towards your hubby? It's weird.
lol Yeah, they’re not doing it because “money is tight,” more like your friend got caught cheating or doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing and this was their agreed upon arrangement to prevent it happening again. That being said, it is a rather private matter, so don’t confront or tease your friend about it if you want to remain friends. Don’t say anything about it, just keep it in mind and from now on don’t say anything to him over text that you wouldn’t want his wife reading.
Did you bring him into the group? You only dated a few months yet your friends are choosing to be friends with him still? If you dated for years and there was a strong foundation of friendship I could understand it more.
You should probably break it off with this woman and get yourself into therapy if you are not already. You should not be in a relationship with anyone when your thinking is like this, you will never be able to happy in a relationship feeling this way.
Don't ever stay with someone because you feel pressured to do so. That's not a good reason to stay.
I'm not understanding your logic here. You sound like you think you can't say no to living somewhere shitty and the rule is somehow the only way you can protect yourself.
Like if your ex had said “will you marry me” and handed you an $800 ring you would have been forced to live! in this podunk town you're talking about.
In reality you can say no to living in places you don't want to on-line in.
Your boyfriend…is a porn addicted loser ?
How tall are you?
Please don't sacrifice your career for this guy. You are young and have so much going for you, you can find someone who makes you feel so much better than you feel right now ❤️
I cannot speak to how to remove her (since she is on the lease and I'm not familiar with laws on it) but you might want to contact your landlord and discuss revising the lease and how you may need to move out and be off the lease if there's no way to get your ex out. Explain the situation.
You can also consult lawyers on this issue in your area cause it probably varies country to country, or state to state. Those are the 2 people I would talk to first.
If your paying for everything, the landlord will prob want you to stay and not leave behind a shitty tenant. So they might have more insight on it and how to evict.
That's all I got. Not my subject of expertise but that's what I would do if I were in your place.
He raped you.
Just like he wouldn't be in a group chat with his friends sharing nudes right ?
You’re limiting your audience by addressing this to women, and you’re probably deep in misdirection by asking whether she’s being straight about the family stress causing her lack of interest.
You’d be a real jerk if you didn’t accept that family stress is more than enough to put someone off their sex-game. But it sounds like it’s more than that.
A healthy relationship needs sexual clarity: sex is where we remind each other “I want you and choose you.”
Without that, you’re going to be unhappy.
How do you not know this was a huge violation? Especially in today's world where laws have been inacted?
Anyways, i don't think being under someone actually helps not when love is still there.
Keep yourself busy, less idle time the better. Contine your therapy and growing, mybe reach out to friends or family to spend the time with.
It won't lesson the pain but it'll help pass the time until it doesn't hurt anymore.
Experts originally thought it only affected boys for the longest time. Thankfully, they now know it can affect anyone.
Could you read what you just wrote and honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say this is a good idea?
Then that is what you need to ask her for. If as you note further below that you see a difference between how she interacts with you and what she's sending out to European Guy – then ask to see what she's sending out. If it really doesn't matter to her, I don't see why she'd say no to you seeing it. If you do ask for this though – please make sure you tell her that you see the difference between the interactions- and that this is for your comfort.
Also- I'm so sorry to hear your GF went through something traumatic. That sucks to go through, and sicks to be a bystander to the results of that trauma and the like aftermath as well. Hope she finds some peace and resolution.
Absolute truth right there. Taking a step back from the situation has made me realize how toxic he was. He literally told me that he would cheat on me if I ever did him dirty and I didn’t take that as a red flag???
I've been in a monogamous relationship for over 20 years and still get the screening every other year during my routine exam. I trust my husband and I know what I have (not) been up to but I also know that shit happens and that some things can lie dormant for a long time…..which brings us back to you. It sounds like you have been an absolute poster boy for playing the field responsibly, and I seriously applaud that! Your risks are relatively low thanks to your good choices but still not zero. There are STIs that can lie dormant for years and routine testing is a good idea for sexually active people, even if that activity has been exclusively with one person for a while.
You're protecting yourself and you're protecting her from any consequences of your previous actions.
Besides, free supplies are awesome!