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Room for live! sex video chat LinaWita
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Birth Date: 1981-05-01
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Date: September 5, 2022
Again, there’s a distance problem. He’s not interested in doing anything
Twice a week is not low amount !
Sounds like you're a side piece
I just didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to hurt her and take my hand away, I know it was kinda wrong but I didn’t want her to be scared.
Lazy boyfriend. I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t go down on me. If I’m giving, I best be receiving
But the thing is . My ex was also like this and i just wonder What did i do wrong? I give him cakes, i borrow money, drive him around. I dont make scenes and we used to have sex very often…and everything just got…idk, awful
What incentive does he have to tell the truth?
Ultimately I have to decide if I want something more with my friend, ending my current relationship that's going so well, or stay in my current one, not knowing if my and my friend could have been more.
Yes, that's all there is to it. It's a hot decision, but not a complicated one. Look within, find what you want, then make a decision and act accordingly. Stay true to yourself and avoid unnecessary pain to either of them, for instance by taking more time than necessary to decide, trying to monkey branch from one relationship to the next by asking your friend out before breaking up with your gf, just in case she refuses, or stick around your friend and possibly fan a crush you chose to not reciprocate.
If you choose your gf, you need to take your distances with your friend until your crush die out. If you choose your friend, you need to first break up with your girlfriend. Whatever you choose, own up and make peace with your decision so you don't get regrets and second thoughts.
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Agree – he owed/owes you an apology and I would have slept on the couch.
You know what you got to do – mamas boys are mommas boys
6 years, but we've known each other longer
Nope. No. Hot no. Wtf.
Do NOT enable your gf’s psycho craziness. She is super controlling and you do not need to give her them. Break it off now. You need to find someone sane.
And keep the dog OP
Careful, people here don't respond to sense and reason well.
I see, yes she in fact is in absolute control. We have different safe words. I make sure we have consent everytime, especially when we are not 100% sober. I understand, yet sometimes it feels like I'm contributing on making her miss him, or by agreeing with the role play, fueling her fantasies about him? Idk really, I'm trying to understand things too and everything seems so complicated
I would not stay w/ a low libido partner . Thats different to reconcile.
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Ummmm…..my dude, this isn’t worth saving. It’s like looking at a 1997 Nissan Sentra that was in a front end collision and the airbags deployed and wondering how much it would cost to fix. You don’t fix that. You just move on.
Your primary purpose in life now is your kids. She doesn’t want to be involved? Cool. Her loss. Raising them is an awesome responsibility but also very rewarding. If you already do all the household things then that part won’t be different. Go to an attorney and explain the situation. Get the admin part over with quickly. Empty your bank accounts asap. Tell her she’s free to go and wish her good luck. You will be better off, I promise.
You're missing the point, my guy. You are of course allowed to have an opinion but the issue is how you're presenting that opinon. Clearly you present your opinion as irrefutable fact and you come off as condescending. Your girlfriend likely doesn't feel heard by you at all. She instantly went to “there you go again…” which just shows how sick she is of this.
So instead of arguing with me over train vs coach why not actually look at HOW you're doing things and reflect on how this is making your girlfriend feel.
You seem exhausting to be around.
Where are the “mixed” signals? You didn’t share anything that sounds like encouragement; I’m hearing he’s being polite but isn’t interested.
I don't agree with a lot of people giving advice here. Several have said that she is jealous of your contact with your father, that she may think you are going to move more in his direction and leave her too, affection wise, or that she sees you meeting with them as taking sides.
I think the issue stems from the fact that the person she expected to spend her life with, the one she trusted more than anyone else and loved, betrayed her in the worst way possible, abandoning her and their family for a young attractive woman that she couldn't compete with, and shouldn't have had to. She expects you to be as justifiably morally outraged as she is, to resent your father like she does and hold a grudge against him for the massive betrayal his actions were. Your apparent happy relationship with him completely ignores that betrayal, it suggests that you aren't really upset enough at him or judge him harshly enough. While you admit what he did was shitty, you're not actually angry at him for it, you don't resent him as much as she thinks is natural for the son of an adulterous shithole who would do that, and so you are, in effect, colluding with his betrayal. Your not taking sides is actually the problem, you are complicit in his betrayal by not holding him accountable, by not denying him a perfectly normal relationship with his son as if he has done nothing wrong.
I don't know I agree with all of that, but I think that's what is behind your mother finally deciding she doesn't need you if you carry on supporting him.
6 months? 21? Keeps in touch with ex? May cross paths at festivals? Won't cut him out? No trust?
Yeah, no. Say bye. She may be great but it will be torture whenever she is not around.
Thank you! I have told them in numerous conversations about tattoos that I don’t want to hear their criticism unless it’s constructive because I’m allowed to put what I want on my body. Their excuse is that they’re trying to be better about that & don’t want to cause me grief, but they continue to act like this
Do you actually want a relationship to ever work ? You know the reason all your relationships fail , and yet you arent changing it . Things wont magically get better…
Let him break his dick being an idiot.
He's disrespectful to you as a human
Again, there's only a relationship with communication and if there is no communication, there is no relationship. I know Reddit hates when people make demands in a relationship but you need a state one. You need to make it crystal clear and under no uncertain terms If he doesn't start communicating with you about what's going on, you need to do what's best for you and leave.
It's not fair on you at all to be putting up with crap that is not acceptable in a relationship. If after you've made it crystal clear to him that if he doesn't start talking right now that there is no us anymore and he still doesn't open up then that has given you your answer.
Reddit only knows a very very small part of this picture so no one on here can stay with 100% certainty that it's a lost cause cuz it really just depends on how much you're willing to put up with and/or if he's willing to start communicating with you.
He may not have consciously decided to play games, it might feel very genuine to him, but he is absolutely using manipulative tactics. At a guess, he wanted to see a big reaction as a way to “prove” your feelings.
I get it – I've been where you are. It's really difficult. I've always been a fixer and honestly, nobody that I wanted to help/fix ended up wanting to be “fixed”. It's “exciting” to choose chaos and I craved it because that was my childhood and how I received love as a child. But the peace of coming home to a partner who is stable, calm, open, etc has made me finally feel safe enough to openly deal with my traumas. I hope the same for you.
I would again suggest looking into counseling, as I don't think trying to work through your issues with someone unstable is productive and may even traumatize you more. There are lessons to be learned from relationships, but this to me is something that needs to be handled with a third party.
Right.
Which isn't entirely unfair – I just find it hot to believe that being miserable and literally sobbing off and on for hours throughout the day is the better choice here, though. She has agency and could at the very least talk to him about it.
If you want to think you are overreacting, far be it for me to tell you what to think. However, you are hearing wisdom from people older and wiser than your friends, who know from our own experiences that you are not. Your boyfriend is allowing and encouraging a female co worker cross boundaries. Did you know a majority of the cheating that takes place is with co workers? But by all means, go ahead and keep excusing him and listening to people who don’t have half the experience some of us do here, and feel miserable and shitty about him all the time.
I don't drink every day, I rarely have more than two drinks in a day.
Ummm……
I can count on my hand the last times I've been drunk in the last 24 months.
You don’t have to be frequently drunk to have a drinking problem
I don't meet the medical criteria for heavy drinker.
Judging by your first sentence, you absolutely do meet the criteria
I don't see any reason for you to not trust your partner in what you've described.
Does it suck that before you two were exclusive that she slept with other people? Yes. But, you weren't exclusive, she was free to sleep with whomever she liked at that time, as were you.
Closing apps and not answering DM's when around you isn't super weird either. I don't do that when I am around other people ever, unless it's an emergency of some sort.
If you want to break up with her due to your insecurity, you should, but you are doing so based on your own issues that you should work on before getting into any other relationships.
I'll try to add a tldr later tonight I'm literally packing some stuff to stay at my dad's for awhile right now
Yep, the E in ENM is important.
This is not someone with whom I would want to grow old with or raise children.
Yes, it's very fast. u became deeply involved b4 u got to know him. U came out of an abusive relationship and u prob were hurting so u jumped into another, but chances are the relationship u are in is also abusive. We have a tendency to be attracted to the same personality type from one relationship to another, meaning we psychologically need to finish what was broken. If u step back and look closely what are the similarities in this relationship? U feel happy bc it is new, and prob feel comfortable bc of the similarities of this relationship to ur last. He may look different, talk different smell different but chances are he is the same.
I came out of a long-controlled abusive relationship, and I then jumped into another bc there was deep sexual attraction, she was different in many ways but was the same. Once the newness wore off, both of our past relationship issues came out, the issues of my/our past came forward. We needed to fix ourselves first b4 we got involved in another relationship. I went into therapy to fix the issues from my past as she did also. We parted ways but on a good note.
We can't fix broken past relationships with new ones, we need to fix ourselves first otherwise we just keep repeating the same pattern.
He says you're too much? You're too young to deal with that controlling and hypocritical mess. Get yourself a guy that sees you as just enough, one who wholeheartedly celebrates your muchness and embraces it
Thanks for the comment. I’ll try to clarify a few things. While she has a disability she is not normally bed ridden. She doesn’t need a nurse and I don’t need to change her or help with eating, bathroom, etc.
The biggest issue which you rightly identified is the mental toll, followed by her chronic fatigue and pain which prevents her from doing a lot of things you would normally expect from a partner. Some small examples – she can’t take out the compost or recycling because it hurts her wrist too much. Lately she hasn’t been able to drive. Any walks longer than 10-15 mins are a non starter. These things are all manageable individually but combined it feels like death by a thousand cuts. It just hurts when I see a couple biking together (just an example) and I think I would love to do that with my partner but she can’t.
Re: chores, we try to split most things 50/50 but a lot of the time it feels like I end up doing the lions share. She may have a different view. She does most of the cleaning, we split the cooking, I take care of all the finances and run most of the errands that require driving.
My work is very demanding and 60hr weeks are the norm. I have pretty high drive and energy but I need downtime too. Lately it feels like most of my personal time is spent talking her back from the edge and I just don’t get to take a break.
You probably give off narc vibes.
He’s super insecure and yes, demanding you be on the phone with him all night is controlling and utterly ridiculous. If that’s a cute thing you want to do occasionally when you’re apart, great! Love it! Demanding you do that everyday? Gross.
Don’t plan your life around this guy. He’s never going to supportive enough of you for this to last long term.
As a child of divorce, my life got 10x better after my parents separated. They were shitty to each other and set a horrible example of what love should look like. All of our lives improved once they went their separate ways.
Sorry that you're going through this, but your kid will be better off.
Break up. This isn't working for you and she's not going to change.
That won't fix or even help the emotional trauma inflicted by their mother.
Yeah, he may have eventually even become abusive with OP. Something else would have set him off eventually. As OP said, their relationship was very different, one of equals. He never had the power or control with OP.
But something would have changed. Maybe she would have gotten sick or depressed. No relationship is without troubles. And this is just how he handles his troubles. With his fists.
Do you have an exit plan yet?
Maybe it would be better to tell him once you know how and when you are leaving.
Tbh your wife should be your best friend, and it's not your wife's fault that you're being a doormat and not do hobbies you want to do or food you want to eat. You've lied to your spouse and that's why she's not trusting you. You're clearly giving the friend a lot of your time. Your bond with your wife is getting weaker because of what you're doing. Your family that you created comes first. Your wife should be the most important person in your life with no hesitations. I'm actually surprised you've given the best friend title to another woman.
adhd is a shit disease. I m glad you got it figured out.
Right right, so your son's having a full family is more important than your daughter being abused and alienated. Got it, you don't really give a fuck about her.
Coward.
You aren’t standing your ground with her though. You’re still letting her treat your daughter like shit. You’re not protecting your sons, they’re fine, but you’re not protecting your daughter either. She was fine until you had your own kids and now she only sees her as a burden because she’s biologically not hers. She filled that void with your sons and now doesn’t need your daughter. Your wife is a horrible person and you need to stop being such a limp noodle. Wake up OP, I’d leave her if I were you. Who knows, she may one day start acting nasty to your children together.
He is, in fact, single. It would be absurd for his relationship status to indicate anything else.
Nanny with benefits….
Thank you. I will keep that in mind.
My take away is Clark did not could no stand up to his father although he was supposedly in love with you and wanted to propose. Are you willing to let your fiancé go for someone who could not fight for you.
Uhh, personally I'm on discord servers I wouldn't want my husband to look at. Not because of what I talk about on there but because of what others talk about. And no, it's not about sex.
I believe that people who talk to me have the right to expect that things stay between them and me and the same thing goes for my husband as well.
He needs to be evicted. Problem with that is depending where you live!, that’s 15-30 days and he’ll make your life hell during that time. This is a tricky situation to be in and I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this. It might help to reach out to an attorney for advice on this. I fear for you and your children what he might do. I believe how you’re describing him and I know these types. Maybe have some family present when breaking the news. Do you have brothers? Uncles? Cousins? Or even some friends.
I’d imagine he’s not going to take it well. If he’s snapped at you and your mother then it sounds like you’ll need some muscle. Someone here will offer better advice. I wish nothing but the best for you and your babies.
Hummmmm may not be popular but invite him to ceremony but that can also be the extent of the relationship.
People change. Let him be a part of the special moment even though he does not deserve it.
That is grace.
Do I do that with open and honest conversations?
I do understand that you love him. Are you familiar with the fallacy of sunk costs? Please Google it.
He understood how much it meant to you that he not engage in this behavior. And yet, he picked it back up immediately. What does that tell you?
Trust. Everything. Your life. Long. You will be 50 and wondering where the hell your husband might be. I promise you a reliable lovely guy waits for you.
All I had to do was read the title to know it's toxic and needs to end. Then I scrolled through a novel… rofl
“Everyone's cheating but he's not being good after it”
Jesus Christ, end the relationship and work on yourself
The real problem is the substance use. She clearly was completely out of control and you can’t trust anyone that out of control. In addition, she seems to be telling you to get over it as if your feelings don’t matter. She doesn’t seem mature enough to be accountable to your feelings at all or to be someone trustworthy if she’s going to be on a 3 day bender…you aren’t safe with someone abusing at that level.
Sounds like just a threat again. Go to a lawyer and YOU file for a divorce. Talk to your family, counselor and lawyer to have an exit plan. Do not talk to your husband abput this.