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  1. I literally bought my ex the one I assume she still uses since she asked me for the charger a bit after we broke up. It was a godsend because honestly it was so nude to use my hands and such for as long and consistently as necessary without any assistance.

    Regardless, some dudes are insecure about it, but I'd argue those dudes are dumb.

  2. depending on where you live you could still get an abortion. not saying you should/have to but if youre doubting the future of your relationship rn once the baby is born youre gonna be tied to him for life

  3. Just leave. You've given him the note, you've told him you don't want to be in a relationship anymore. Just go. Pack your things and go.

  4. So lemme get this straight you’re mad over this movie that was created by the same dude that started the woman liberation movement in Japan… this movie is a second wave feminist film too.

  5. Hello /u/First-Warthog-8686,

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  6. Nothing wrong with that. Couples thst last the longest are the ones that wait the longest to get married/move in together. It’s very common in Europe and that’s mostly why divorce isn’t as huge of a thing like in the US.

  7. Hello /u/gauloise_rouge,

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  8. I would guess that he's looking for a reason to be mad because he's cheating, and needed an excuse to not sleep with you. Either that, or as others have said he's been using you from day 1. In either case, he sounds unhinged, and possibly dangerous. I would take the baby, find a safe place, start the divorce process and stop the visa process if you can.

  9. If you are not sexually compatible and you are unsure if you can continue like this then I think it’s time to end the relationship.

    It’s neither her or your fault she feels this way but you must respect it regardless of your sexual needs.

  10. Can you guys do anal gently while you pretend it hurts? It doesn't have to actually hurt, but you can probably fulfill his fantasy by playing up the hurtiness, but there has to be discussion so he knows he cant just go hog wild, you have to tell him how to do it so it doesnt hurt, but that doesnt mean it HAS to hurt, you can pretend it hurts for him. But if he wants anal all the time that sucks too cuz yeah there should be prep for it, for sure.

  11. Well I had a threesome and it went great, should I post about it? ?

    But seriously,

    OP could've just handled the situation by going “this is making me uncomfortable, we need to stop”.

    This is the thing so many people seem to forget or don't realize. Consent is ongoing and you can revoke it at any time. If you're no longer enjoying yourself you owe it to yourself and your partner(s) to speak up! OP's girlfriend likely felt horrible to learn how upset he was through that whole thing. I know I would. It's not fun to find out your partner was miserable and just sucking it up while you were enjoying yourself, when something could have been done about it if they just spoke up.

  12. You’re being very immature and making an ass out of yourself. She’s with YOU, she’s trying to bring YOU to an important event for her friend, that’s pretty indicative of you being important to her. What are you so worried will happen if you’re in the same room as this guy? He’s literally just some guy who doesn’t matter anymore, so much in fact that she doesn’t think twice before bringing you in front of him. Apologize to your girlfriend, admit you’re just feeling insecure, and go to the wedding.

  13. Also 36. Also separated from my wife last year. Also in a better place than ever. Which is kind of nude to say and maybe misleading because I’m still grieving the loss of my wife, step son, and future I envisioned. But without the daily toxicity I’m feeling so much more positive. I’m physically healthier too.

    I’ve also had tremendous success dating and can’t imagine a guy ten years younger feeling hopeless. But I get it.

  14. Probably best to decide what you'd do about it if you do prove if first.

    No point in starting a never ending war with kids in the house. Have an exit plan or don't bother hunting.

  15. Yeah, pretty much. Like I wouldn't take someone who felt the need to fuck around back. Already did that and ended up leaving him. Better to start something with someone who isn't an asshole and who you can actually respect as a partner. You're never goung to forget that she did this.

  16. You probably will end up paying child support but in the US at least, the default is joint custody unless there are serious reasons not to. I'd consult with a lawyer just to see what my options are before taking her threat seriously and being miserable forever. Good luck.

  17. Even when you say you used the wrong words, you continue to look for ways to do exactly that (discipline and punish). The “silent treatment” is extremely unhealthy and should never be used in a relationship. You can decide to spend less money on her I guess, but you’re still looking at it as a way of punishing her. If you cannot move on from this breach of trust without enacting some kind of punishment, just break up with her. If you want to stay together you’ll need to work on things through open communication and rebuilding trust.

  18. Might be a little more than my boyfriend, but that isn't relevant to this specific issue. I don't want life advice just a relationship one.

  19. My thought was he probably did send it to sister on accident but it was meant for someone other than OP

  20. As someone who has gone through that (previously very confident, weight gain), definitely keep doing what you're doing with exercise and getting back in shape, but also seek out your non-wife support network (friends, family). My situation is a bit different since I wasn't married….so, not saying you should go on a break from your wife, but if you were previously spending 90% of your free time with her, maybe dial it down a bit, see your friends more if you aren't already. Time away from her will also help you assess your relationship with her more objectively, and hanging out with good friends can be a confidence booster. Of course, there's always a therapist.

    Your wife's delivery was totally wrong and out of touch. Having said that…real internet stranger honesty, 180 @ 5'6″ is definitely overweight. Still doesn't excuse her delivery, so you absolutely should feel hurt. As you said, she should have suggested working out together or something more tactful.

  21. Her attitude about being caught tells you everything you need to know. Blaming you for her shitty behavior shows that she has no character and would make an awful partner.

  22. I’ll just put what I said in another comment here:

    And condoms are only like what? 95% effective when used perfectly? What’s going to happen when one breaks? She’s going to have to take a morning after pill and deal with that shit again, and who knows if it will even be legal where they’re at by the time that happens. And what’s going to happen when they don’t work and she didn’t take the morning after pill because she didnt know? She’s the one who’s going to have to deal with it (assuming it’s still legal for her to do so). There is absolutely nothing wrong with her putting her foot down and telling him that he needs to take as much of that burden off of her as possible.

  23. You’re not helping your situation by lying to your boyfriend. Just be honest with him, it will open the floor up to communication. From there, you guys can explore what works for you.

    FYI most girls can’t “squirt”.

  24. Really???

    Boo hoo…..I'm not fighting within my relationship.

    How about you be an adult and ENJOY the fact that you have a stable relationship.

    FFS….people looking for drama.

  25. Everyone deserves the right to an informed decision and this woman is so uninformed it’s sick. Tell her. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if your husband was having a 10 year affair? That poor poor woman.

  26. I knew this was the case immediately when you mentioned political. You guys dug your own grave, so you can deal with the consequences.

  27. Do you even understand what it means to be sexually abused/assaulted? You're 19, you have known her for barely 6 months and the way you guys function is to text every 30/45 minutes? To never leave the other person on read? What the fuck is wrong with you?

    If you loved her or liked her enough, you wouldn't talk this much about the lying right now. You don't have to forgive her right away, she absolutely broke your trust. But right now you need to help her and see if she is okay, what you can do to help her, etc and if you're still mad, you leave her be to manage things, not text her constantly like an insecure child seeking attention.

    Man y'all both suck.

  28. Not when both parents hate each other. And OP clearly doesn't plan on staying married or on good terms with the mother.

    Having two parents doesn't make them better off if they aren't on the same page about raising the child or even like each other. You're just setting that child up for a shitty home life and a bad example of what partnership is.

  29. Also, real talk: what in the hell is so fantastic about wifey that you’re tolerating her behavior. Your kiddo ? knows wifey hates her. But my question is: doesn’t it gross you out to sleep with somebody who can’t muster a little sympathy and read a book about early childhood trauma? It’s obviously very disruptive; but so is life. Would you be this cold if she had a nibbling that needed a stable family? What’s wifey gonna do if you get diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 5 years? That one’s a doozy too. Just saying, she ain’t much of a partner

  30. You said it yourself! You are still young! There is plenty of time. You are not running out of time. In fact, you are right where you are supposed to be.

    Focus on yourself for a while it will feel good!

    I most likely won’t until I can be confident that it’s the last one I’ll be in.

    This is silly! How will you know if it will be your last relationship without starting it? Love at first sight is generally a myth – love is built and discovered over time. You have to date around and date someone for a while to know if they're right for you!

    L is the first letter in Lesson.

  31. Sometimes just the threat of legal action might be enough to make the coworker return the cat. If OP has a lawyer friend draft a letter, it’ll be on this coworker to call her bluff.

    I’m so sorry, OP. I don’t have words for how furious I would be.

  32. I think this shows a lot insight and maturity that you’ve come to this conclusion. Yes I think it would be wrong to continue your engagement based on how your feeling now. It’s more than stress, this isn’t fair to your fiancé.

  33. This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard. Why would you wear a “fake engagement ring” when the sentiment is not “real”. As in- when and if he were to propose the meaning behind it is why you’d wear it or get said ring tattoo as you said. Rings can be an investment however you said you weren’t particularly picky about costs etc. he’s love bombing you I think.. in a really nasty way

  34. If she's unhappy about how yall look together she can either lose weight or break up with you. Both of those things are within her control. You gaining weight is not within her control and not fair of you to ask.

  35. Honestly, thank you. This means so much to me and came at a time when I am sincerely, genuinely contemplating leaving this website and almost hit the delete button on my account minutes ago. It's like you somehow knew.

    The harassment I've received in the past 4 years on this website is brutal, and half my private messaging inbox is filled with messages from male users about how terrible I am, how much I hate men, how useless I am, how ugly I am, and how much I deserve to be violated. The man on reddit who stalked me relentlessly for over a year and stopped in 2020 after sending me endless rape and decapitation threats also returned this week to reddit unexpectedly, and after being told yet again by a commenter I've never met in my life that apparently my work in the domestic violence field has endangered victims and their children, I'm really not doing the best.

    So, thanks so much for this. It means more than you will ever know. I will not forget the kindness you've shown me.

  36. 'Swinging lifestyle has caught his eye'. LOL. I bet.

    Yeah well, tell him good luck with that. If he thinks he's going to get laid left and right he's in for a rude awakening, in my experience.

  37. Look, you and one other person on this thread believe this is healthy behavior, go comment on every single one of their “observations”, tell them they need to go outside & meet people that aren’t on the internet.

    She literally says in the post he called her and “went off” on her THEN hung up on her and started texting her. It’s not been that long since I last dated, I’m familiar with many people older than me that carry out this insecurity over social media & I watch people of my age & younger go through the same thing.

  38. Well I’m in this shit now. I wanted to see if I recognized the chick so I looked at the photos again. Recognized some stuff. Pretty sure it’s his ex. Went to his images folder to see if there were more. There were. Another chick and a bunch of weird 4chan porn downloads. I’m in shock right now. I’m shaking with anger and sadness and disgust.

  39. Wow, he knew it was a decision you both needed to weigh in on. You both were actively talking about your future together.

    Personally, it's the lying to your face that I would not be able to get past. I could understand if he messed up by not talking with you first but he actively lied to your face.

    What else will he lie about?

    It sounds like you want a partner and he is not being one.

  40. Ugh. All of the things he mentioned are ways he thinks YOU should change. You don't have to change who you are for anyone. He's making you feel bad about yourself. Throw him out.

  41. Thank you for your answer! For the drinking it really depends on the context : we never drink when were together bc its not a habit I have. When his mom came to visit him, they drank every day one glass of wine bc thats how his mum does (he knows its bad). When hes with his friends, Idk how much he drinks but he used to drink a lot at parties. Since he found out he has anxiety he sais hes trying to drink less : Last time I saw him drinking was at a party Last weekend and he drank 2 cups. But now hes on holiday visiting friends and plans on drinking with them if He wants to, idk how much, but he said less times than usual. Thats what I know. The thing is that his anxiety is really New, and hes considering therapy.

  42. They’re probably making a bunch of shit up just so that Jake can get laid. Don’t fall for all this guilt tripping BS

  43. OP, there is a reason why a 30-something guy looked for a 22 year old.

    Please do yourself a favor, dump him, get some counseling so you can recognize these things better in the future, and keep moving onto better things/people/experiences in life.

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